Drug Problem!

[Pensive]

my dear friend i disagree, there is a fine line between spanking and beating a child. smacking them on there rear a couple of good times to stop there bad behavior is far different from beat the child, giving him bruises, burning him, and such. and it's also the intentions behind the spank. if a parent just shouts at the kid to stop then spanks them, not exsplaining what she did wrong, then yes it might breed anger isues. but if the parent tells the child to stop, explains why he's getting a spanking (nicely and not shouting or anything like that), spanking them, and then after ward truthfully telling them that they love them. most likely they wont end up having anger problems. and don't forget about the life style that childs raised up in, that will take a toll, too.-argetlam

Okay then I am against beating, and the kind of spanking stephofthenight and rabidreader received. I mean come on what's the use of using your hands because a child is not wearing socks/shoes. Just because you have force doesn't allow you to use it on those who don't have it.

[stephofthenight]

ok our household system when i was a kid

1 warning and why i shoudnt continue that behavior
2 im gonna spank you if you dont stop
3 go get the belt and sit it on the couch if you do it again
4. a spanking and when i calmed down my mommy would hug me and tell me exactly why she did that, and that she didnt do it becuase she ws mad at me and its was becasue she loved me and cared enough about me.

spanking is NOT the easy way out...
letting your child do whatever
or just saying no and not enforcing it is the easy way out...

ok what do you do when your kid misbehaves, you say no, they do it again, you ground them, they do it again? do you just give up. no that raises ignorants.

and i feel bad for those that are abused trust me, i know the terrors that can bring. but there is a diffrence if you leave bruises on a child u should be hung, now if you pop them on the butt, your being a parent.
i guess its upbringing. my parents parents took horse whips to there behind, my parents take belts to mine. so choose not to spank your kid, but even my little sister when we go to town or something together, i have spanked her butt in front of god and everybody because she wouldnt stop crawling under church pues after i had told her to stop 4 times i took her outside popped her butt twice and sent her right back in, it didnt hurt her, it was the matter of embarsment. if you embarss me ill embaress you type thing. as far as grades go if i dont have an a every point beliow a 91 is a lick. thats just how it is in my life. maybe you say there abusive well i will tell u like i told that stupid counciler ive known abuse, when i cried no one came, when i was actualy being hurt no one cared, now when im being loved you want to say no. it idiots like that that are ruining america. america was founded on god, and way back in the day they got spankings, even abraham lincon got a spanking i bet, and look here our county is great becasue of them, abuse i say not. now hitler never once got a spanking, becuase his mother didnt care, so as you call it "abuse" might have saved 3million people there life. just my veiw point

Okay then I am against beating, and the kind of spanking stephofthenight and rabidreader received. I mean come on what's the use of using your hands because a child is not wearing socks/shoes. Just because you have force doesn't allow you to use it on those who don't have it.

umm well the one time i got a spanking for this was after i had been told about 9 times to put on my shoes, and then my dad had helped me well i screamed no took them off and thru them. i deserved it.

[Shurtugal]

i know what abuse is too. (not that i have been, of course) and basically steph family "spanking rules" are about the same as mine. abuse is a terrible thing. there is no running around it. but evan a little red butt ain't abuse. now if our parents ever did it every day, enjoyed it, and did it for no reason. then, yes, that's abuse. i've had belts on my rear. (which quite frankly doesn't hurt unless you tense up and kick and scream like i usto when i was like 8 or so.) but after i cooled off i was fine. no bruises, no hate isuies. and i plan on spanking my kids (if i have any) for that is the way i think is best to disaplin a child. my parents love me, there no question. almost all my friends are spanked. and the ones that aren't are already taking the wrong path. the thinking that what wrong is right, and what's right is wrong. not to much of a degree. but it is becomeing visable. it's sad knowing no matter how hard you try, unless they are really convicted, they'll end up going down that path in the end. quickly or with some hesitation.

[barbara0207]

Caring means bringing up a child with love, giving direction, telling them what's right or wrong - without spanking. It's unnecessary - if you know about the multiple other ways of teaching a child how to behave. But if parents and children do not know any better - well, that's sad. I'm shocked that so many of you are or have been spanked.

Spanking is against the law over here and I think in Britain, too. And I have hardly any problems with my students at school. Of course there are good-for-nothings around here, too. Sometimes it's because their parents don't care what they do, don't give them enough of their love and time. Or parents feel helpless because they do not know how to deal with a child. (BTW, that does not mean that they don't spank them, even if it's unlawful.) So one thing has got nothing whatsoever to do with the other.

All those of you who are spanked and intend to do so with their own children: Please visit parenting classes. There you will be shown ways how to bring up a child without physical violence.

[Pensive]

i agree with steph, to many kids are disrespecting there parents. like just the other month, me and my dad were at the store and there was this girl and her mom in front of us. i don't know what they were talking about but all of a sudden they girl (about 16 or so) said, "damn, mom, shut up!" i was flabbergasted! no child should speak to there parent like that (or any one really). and the worst part was the mom didn't do anything about it. nothing. no correction, no look of warning, infact, she looked as if her daughter did that often.-argetlam

But how is it related to spanking? Are you trying to say this girl wouldn't have spoken in front of her mother if she would have been spanked? Or are you trying to suggest her mother should have slapped her butt on the very place because she spoke in that way?

And anyway, you don't know about what that mother said which made the girl say such a thing. I personally don't like the sound of 'shut up' but I think at places I have spoken in front of my parents and have disagreed with them though mostly I believe on compromises, and in a few places I have been right in that. This doesn't mean I don't love my parents. Perhaps what her mother said was truly offensive. Disagreeing with your parents on a matter doesn't mean unloving them or not caring for them. Sometimes even parents can be wrong, though usually their chances of being correct are more because of more experience.

spanking is NOT the easy way out...
letting your child do whatever
or just saying no and not enforcing it is the easy way out...

Not spanking doesn't mean you are letting your child do whatever she/he wants to do.

And we are not talking about whether we should say 'no' to our children. It's about hitting, spanking and abusing them.

ok what do you do when your kid misbehaves, you say no, they do it again, you ground them, they do it again? do you just give up. no that raises ignorants.

Do anything but spanking. And what makes you think that spanking would turn them into something tame? You and Shurtugal mentioned about first spanking them and then telling them you love them, but do you really think it's any good? If telling them you loved them was that much helping then why spank them?

And hey, don't take me wrong. I agree parents do care for their children (except very very very few exceptions) but it's not necessary the way the adopt for taking care of their children is better than any other way out there.

and i feel bad for those that are abused trust me, i know the terrors that can bring. but there is a diffrence if you leave bruises on a child u should be hung, now if you pop them on the butt, your being a parent.
i guess its upbringing. my parents parents took horse whips to there behind, my parents take belts to mine. so choose not to spank your kid, but even my little sister when we go to town or something together, i have spanked her butt in front of god and everybody because she wouldnt stop crawling under church pues after i had told her to stop 4 times i took her outside popped her butt twice and sent her right back in, it didnt hurt her, it was the matter of embarsment. if you embarss me ill embaress you type thing. as far as grades go if i dont have an a every point beliow a 91 is a lick. thats just how it is in my life. maybe you say there abusive well i will tell u like i told that stupid counciler ive known abuse, when i cried no one came, when i was actualy being hurt no one cared, now when im being loved you want to say no. it idiots like that that are ruining america. america was founded on god, and way back in the day they got spankings, even abraham lincon got a spanking i bet, and look here our county is great becasue of them, abuse i say not. now hitler never once got a spanking, becuase his mother didnt care, so as you call it "abuse" might have saved 3million people there life. just my veiw point

Spanking your children doesn't necessarily mean you care for them or not spanking them doesn't mean you don't care for them.

i know what abuse is too. (not that i have been, of course) and basically steph family "spanking rules" are about the same as mine. abuse is a terrible thing. there is no running around it. but evan a little red butt ain't abuse. now if our parents ever did it every day, enjoyed it, and did it for no reason. then, yes, that's abuse. i've had belts on my rear. (which quite frankly doesn't hurt unless you tense up and kick and scream like i usto when i was like 8 or so.) but after i cooled off i was fine. no bruises, no hate isuies. and i plan on spanking my kids (if i have any) for that is the way i think is best to disaplin a child.

If it doesn't hurt, then why do children scream, feel pain and get scared? If it doesn't hurt, then why does it make children want to end their lives? If it doesn't hurt then why do children want to run from their homes?

And if it doesn't scare children or hurt them or do anything to them, then why do parents think it's a good way to adopt to tame their children?

I think having belts at the age of eight is hmmm not a nice thing really. And I am against it whatever you call it - spanking, hitting, abusing or anything.

Sorry, got very emotional but I hope you would understand that I didn't mean to insult someone here personally, just meant to make myself clear.

[Neo_Sephiroth]

Hmmm...Looks like I'm very fortunate to have grown up without knowing my father.

[rabid reader]

and just so we are clear, parents beating the snot outta their kids is not a drug prevention program. I mean Opium anyone? Then the 60s-70s, my parents generation. The 80s were so high they dressed in retro... you seen retro? that is a very trippy clothing style. Then in th 90s we had grunge rock, anger mushroom highs for everyone. This decade we seem to be the ecstasy generation, and lets face it, a drug that drives people toward passionate love making is merely tomatoes compared to what my parents were doing.

[Shurtugal]

returning to pensives questions.

i know you didn't mean it personally. you aren't that kind of person. oh, and i should of made it clear, when i said belt to my rear, it didn't always mean that. only a couple of times, and i was useing that turm mostly in slang. i'll start with your first question.

if it doesn't hurt then why do children sream, feel pain, and get scared?

answer: most children over react, trust me i'm one of 'em, there are these boys (there both around 8) and i they get to round up, i grab there arm and tell them to stop. (politly, not harshly gripping just firmly) when i let go they start crying and saying that i've hurt them. or when someone they don't care for pushs them a little they start saying that they punched them and go tell. and it does hurt... but not to the point of aginising pain. the ruff turm of a spanking on the rear is just as painful as when you hit your hand to hard giving your buddy a high five. not excrutiating pain, but it gives the message.

... then why does it make children want to end there lives... run from there home?

answer: i actually have no answer for i have never heard of children running away from home because they were spanked. there was probably something more. i don't know 'cuase i have never heard of it.

describe scared. is it as when you walk up behind a person and say "BOO!" or is it how you feel when your life is at sate? and as i have mentioned it abouve, it does hurt a little.

and i personally believe that spanking is so far off from hitting or abusing.

But how is it related to spanking? Are you trying to say this girl wouldn't have spoken in front of her mother if she would have been spanked? Or are you trying to suggest her mother should have slapped her butt on the very place because she spoke in that way?

And anyway, you don't know about what that mother said which made the girl say such a thing. I personally don't like the sound of 'shut up' but I think at places I have spoken in front of my parents and have disagreed with them though mostly I believe on compromises, and in a few places I have been right in that. This doesn't mean I don't love my parents. Perhaps what her mother said was truly offensive. Disagreeing with your parents on a matter doesn't mean unloving them or not caring for them. Sometimes even parents can be wrong, though usually their chances of being correct are more because of more experience.

ok, i shouldn't of brung that up, i was getting off to disrespecting. i don't know how she was raised. you are right. i don't know if that was evan her real mom and maybe she has anger isues. oh, i know disagree with your parents isn't wrong, neccesially. but that doesn't give me that right to disrespect them.

and concerning slapping her butt, no, not at all. she's sixteen and is to old for that. i'm not evan spanked just because i'm older.

[Poppy]

This decade we seem to be the ecstasy generation, and lets face it, a drug that drives people toward passionate love making is merely tomatoes compared to what my parents were doing.

Whoa, ever hear of Methamphetamine? Its the scourge of the culture today.
I deal with parents each day who abuse this devil drug. These children of meth addicted adults have so many issues it's criminal.

[stephofthenight]

If it doesn't hurt, then why do children scream, feel pain and get scared? If it doesn't hurt, then why does it make children want to end their lives? If it doesn't hurt then why do children want to run from their homes?

And if it doesn't scare children or hurt them or do anything to them, then why do parents think it's a good way to adopt to tame their children?


becasue some parents are idiots!!!

spanking and beating are diffrent!!!

spanking doesnt hurt, beating them leaving them hurt is abuse.

children run from home for lots of reason
~abuse verbal or physical
~neglect
~ignorance the list goes on

but unless you have been thrown into walls, and thru windows, speak not of abuse as if you understand.
when you have been abused, you can understand the diffrence but i guess some people just dont understand the terrors of true abuse therforth they call harmless things abuse.

and children need to be prepared to forgive there parents for everything that goes on, as parents need to be preparedtoforgive therechildren for everything that goes on...just as i have forgiven my abuser and we are ok now

[Shurtugal]

um... off the wall here, steph, what do you mean you forgive your abuser, where you abused?

[stephofthenight]

this thred is getting kinda personal, we should get back on topic

[Shurtugal]

aye, your right and i'm sorry for asking if it affended you. i was putting my nose where it shouldn't of been. forgive me.

[Pensive]

returning to pensives questions.

i know you didn't mean it personally. you aren't that kind of person. oh, and i should of made it clear, when i said belt to my rear, it didn't always mean that. only a couple of times, and i was useing that turm mostly in slang. i'll start with your first question.

if it doesn't hurt then why do children sream, feel pain, and get scared?

answer: most children over react, trust me i'm one of 'em, there are these boys (there both around 8) and i they get to round up, i grab there arm and tell them to stop. (politly, not harshly gripping just firmly) when i let go they start crying and saying that i've hurt them. or when someone they don't care for pushs them a little they start saying that they punched them and go tell. and it does hurt... but not to the point of aginising pain. the ruff turm of a spanking on the rear is just as painful as when you hit your hand to hard giving your buddy a high five. not excrutiating pain, but it gives the message.

... then why does it make children want to end there lives... run from there home?

answer: i actually have no answer for i have never heard of children running away from home because they were spanked. there was probably something more. i don't know 'cuase i have never heard of it.

describe scared. is it as when you walk up behind a person and say "BOO!" or is it how you feel when your life is at sate? and as i have mentioned it abouve, it does hurt a little.

and i personally believe that spanking is so far off from hitting or abusing.

Where did I mention spanking is the synonym of hitting or abusing? All three are different things though first two can be included in the third one. Spanking a child doesn't, my friend, disclude the possibility of severe spanking. Even using cane on children is spanking. It can be severe, and it can be the other way around.

My question: And if it doesn't scare children or hurt them or do anything to them, then why do parents think it's a good way to adopt to tame their children?

Steph's answer: becasue some parents are idiots!!!

Now, it seems you also agree that it is idiotic but why the hell do you want to adopt this idiotic thing to tame your own children? I find this quite un-understandable!

spanking and beating are diffrent!!!

Spanking is an act of physical violence (especially if done harshly), and so it can be included in beating but yes, wordly speaking, both are different.

spanking doesnt hurt, beating them leaving them hurt is abuse.

Again if you think spanking doesn't hurt and neither does it show any love, so why do you think it's any good or what makes you decide you would use this way for your children? (On the other hand, personally I think spanking can hurt a lot!)

children run from home for lots of reason
~abuse verbal or physical
~neglect
~ignorance the list goes on

And I am against all these reasons but what I meant running from home was that they try to prefer other places or confide in other people because of the fear of spanking.

Children, especially little ones are fragile no matter how strong or obstinate they look, I don't think trying to enforce fear of any sort of physical violence is a good way even if it's spanking. Spanking can make physical violence acceptable in children's mind and they have chances of using it on their fellows in school or even when they grow up. Okay, let's take example of Sara. Sara's parents used to spank her on disobedience or stealing jam from Mama's fridge and especially swear-words. A girl in Sara's class uses a swear-word for a Holy book and Sara moves towards her to fight with her and if can catch her, then spank that class-fellow of hers. And don't tell me children don't often copy the ways they see around.

And spanking is not the only way to tame children. Why not use better ways, loving ways (or even punishments which haven't got something to do with hitting, spanking or abusing), for your children? Why spank them?

but unless you have been thrown into walls, and thru windows, speak not of abuse as if you understand.
when you have been abused, you can understand the diffrence but i guess some people just dont understand the terrors of true abuse therforth they call harmless things abuse.

Just because abuse or something crueler than spanking exists, doesn't make spanking the right thing to do.

and children need to be prepared to forgive there parents for everything that goes on, as parents need to be preparedtoforgive therechildren for everything that goes on...just as i have forgiven my abuser and we are ok now

I don't know what to say about this. A child who has been truly abused (like you mention that it's very terrorful) by parents would certainly find a hard thing to do...

[EAP]

Amerikkkkkka

*rawr*