Viruses you suffer from:

Junkfood
Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.
(Anyone who doesnt get a high percentage of these is walking around with their eyes closed, the commercial brainwashing is everywhere)

Politics
Stop caring!
(Just as soon as they stop messing things up)

Environmentalism
Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.
(Well, it is what I went to college for)

Football
Do something unhealthy and indoors, away from the Bears.
(Too many panini sticker albums as a kid)

Viruses you might suffer from:

Religion (90%)
Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)
(A good thing to be aware of - whether you follow one or not)

Sci-fi (60%)
Stop wearing the stick-on ears.
(Dont know how this came up, is it as simple as recognising one star trek badge?)

Brand Names (80%)
Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.
(yep, but seeing them on all the walking billboards sure makes them recognisable)

Computer Games (60%)
Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.

Conspiracy Theory (95%)
Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary.
(nah, whats scary is that elections give the remote possibility that someone like ME could be in control )

British (85%)
No need for cure. Benign virus.

Hippyism (78%)
Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.