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Thread: cleaning

  1. #1
    Ditsy Pixie Niamh's Avatar
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    cleaning

    Dull work for a dull day
    I think as i drag myself upstairs.
    I look at my room, I dont know what to say!
    All i see is junk and paper and teddy bears.

    I make a start on my sister claires bed.
    Thank god she's in Australia, i sigh,
    God only knows what curses she'd have said
    If she could see all my clothes dumped a mile high!

    Into my drawers and wardrobe my clothes go,
    As neath and tidy as i possibly can.
    Trinkets on shelves and hidden in places only i know,
    And find photos of sunny places and me with a tan.

    I start to tackle boxes of folders and books,
    Amazed at some of the things i find inside.
    My mam arrives, looks around and gives me dirty looks,
    And starts to drag things from boxes where claires things hide.

    In fits of anger and fustration i throw
    out old memories too hurtful to forget,
    Displayed in stilled images, in faces i know,
    Faces of people i sometimes wish i'd never met.

    Under my bed i go and investigate.
    Been about a year since i last had a glance.
    I drag out things I kept and forgot i hate,
    The horder in be blushes at the chance.

    How half the things i find managed to remain
    so long with out seeing darkness of the bin!
    So dumped they get, and so i dump the pain
    Of bad memories of friends and life and sin.

    Tired and sweaty, a head full of dust,
    I stroll down the stairs for a cup of tea.
    Bags of rubbish and memories that i must
    throw away, thankfully praying shall i never again see.

    Goodbye old meterial memories i horded throughout life,
    I hope some of my mind will also be free of strife.

    \nismh Anne King 13/07/2007
    "Come away O human child!To the waters of the wild, With a faery hand in hand, For the worlds more full of weeping than you can understand."
    W.B.Yeats

    "If it looks like a Dwarf and smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf (or a latrine wearing dungarees)"
    Artemins Fowl and the Lost Colony by Eoin Colfer


    my poems-please comment Forum Rules

  2. #2
    Ditsy Pixie Niamh's Avatar
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    humm...its either the title isnt appealing or people dont like the content....
    "Come away O human child!To the waters of the wild, With a faery hand in hand, For the worlds more full of weeping than you can understand."
    W.B.Yeats

    "If it looks like a Dwarf and smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf (or a latrine wearing dungarees)"
    Artemins Fowl and the Lost Colony by Eoin Colfer


    my poems-please comment Forum Rules

  3. #3
    Ruadh gu brath ampoule's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Niamh View Post
    humm...its either the title isnt appealing or people dont like the content....
    I enjoyed the poem, especially the rhyme and even though it rhymes, it seems like you are just talking yourself into paying attention to a ponderous task. Whether cleaning our closets, our hearts or our souls, it can leave us weary, ready for a cup of thoughtfulness tea.
    I'm in love with The Vinegar Man and Mr. Tanner, but be careful, it could just as easily be you.

    "If you're going to write you better have somewhere to come from." Flannery O'Connor

  4. #4
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Smile

    No, I just hadn't go around to it as of yet! You take a day that is as you say "dull" and manage to keep the reader's attention all the way to the last couplet. Now there's a recipe for a good poem in anybody's book!

    Pen

    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  5. #5
    solid motherhubbard's Avatar
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    I thought that was so nice. I didn’t even notice the rhyme I was so caught up in the content. I am so familiar with the act and the different feelings that go along with it. I’ll have to get my daughter on here to read this one.

  6. #6
    Ditsy Pixie Niamh's Avatar
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    Thanks you lot. I was beginning to think i'd finally written a poem that was really really bad. Although i cant think of anything worse than writing a poem about cleaning ones bedroom!
    "Come away O human child!To the waters of the wild, With a faery hand in hand, For the worlds more full of weeping than you can understand."
    W.B.Yeats

    "If it looks like a Dwarf and smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf (or a latrine wearing dungarees)"
    Artemins Fowl and the Lost Colony by Eoin Colfer


    my poems-please comment Forum Rules

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