Had to withdraw this.
Had to withdraw this.
Last edited by Bii; 07-16-2007 at 03:13 PM.
Very touching. I like these lines best, B.
I wasn’t sure myself.
Instead I grew an extra heart for you,
built from all my dreams,
a bushel of tolerance,
a tonne of understanding,
an acre of hope.
Some of us laugh
Some of us cry
Some of us smoke
Some of us lie
But it's all just the way
that we cope with our lives...
i'm with pen, but i think you let in too easy to this notion of penance as it pertains to the situation at hand. if anyone messes with your books and CD's, time to get out the broom--that'll show 'em. and this poem is too depressing. i'm going to leave now.
"He was nauseous with regret when he saw her face again, and when, as of yore, he pleaded and begged at her knees for the joy of her being. She understood Neal; she stroked his hair; she knew he was mad."
---Jack Kerouac, On The Road: The Original Scroll
Heartbreaking and very very beautiful. Thanks.
Very nice Bii. I like it a lot. The lines that Pen highlights are great. I also like
One mild reserevation, and perhaps it's just me. The last line seems too pat, seems like the narrator is jealous. I don't know. The short line at the end like that seems to want to summarize the poem but to me seems to come from another emotion. If it is a summary it seems dissonant to me. But that's my perception. A very nice poem.Instead his accusations lie
in the absences;
in the empty wardrobe,
in the lonely set of keys
on the hallway table,
in the gap-toothed idiot smiles
of the CD rack and bookcase.
LET THERE BE LIGHT
"Love follows knowledge." – St. Catherine of Siena
My literature blog: http://ashesfromburntroses.blogspot.com/
Oh Bii, this is so beautiful and the last line speaks volumes....that self-flagellation, that pity party so many of us attend over and over, that penance for the ones who grow extra hearts and never quite believe it is enough. Something in this reminds me of a line from The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan...Originally Posted by Bii
The old woman remembered a swan she had bought many years ago in Shanghai for a foolish sum. "This bird", boasted the market vendor, "was once a duck that stretched its neck in hopes of becoming a goose. And now look, it is too beautiful to eat!" Then the woman and the swan sailed across an ocean many thousands of lei wide, stretching their necks toward America. On her journey, she cooed to the swan, "In America, I will have a daughter just like me. But over there, nobody will say her worth is measured by the loudness of her husbands belch. Over there, nobody will look down on her because I will make her speak only perfect American English. And over there, she will always be too full to swallow any sorrow. She will know my meaning because I will give her this swan, a creature that became more than what was hoped for." But when she arrived in the new country the immigration officials pulled the swan away from her, leaving the woman fluttering her arms and with only one swan feather for a memory. For a long time now, the women had wanted to give her daughter the single swan feather and tell her; "This feather may look worthless, but it comes from afar and carries with it all my good intentions."
...and anyone who wants to add to any word or thought in the 'and the word is' thread is very very welcome to do so....at any time....and please do.
I'm in love with The Vinegar Man and Mr. Tanner, but be careful, it could just as easily be you.
"If you're going to write you better have somewhere to come from." Flannery O'Connor
This made my heart ache! So touching but wonderful.
I sang of leaves, of leaves of gold, and leaves of gold there grew.
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