Can boys and girls be friends?

[Redzeppelin]

I think refining the question a bit might be interesting.

Of course it's possible for men and women to be "friends" without "romancing" each other - but can they be friends without sexual tension and/or sexual thoughts about the other? If you have sexual thoughts about your opposite sex friend, is your relationship still purely platonic, or did it go somewhere else - if only in your head? And does that change things? How?

[Stanislaw]

Well, I think it is possible for men and women to be friends without romancing eachother, and even capable for men and women to be friends without thinking of eachother in a sexual fashion.

I have some female friends whom I find extremely atractive, yet I keep my feelings to myself if I feel that they do not return the same or doing so would place them in an uncomfortable or undesirable situation, and in the same breath, I also have female friends whom I trust deeply, and yet I do not feel any romantic feelings towards them and I believe that they do not feel any romantice feelings for me.

I think romance and friendship is a good thing, so long as it doesn't feel strained or forced in any fashion, it may seem odd, but sometimes long friendships grow into romances.

[Durgamol]

i used to belive that friendship between men and women is possible. i even used to fight to prove it. until one day i found out that someone i considered to be my male-friend was sending to me some nasty-annonymous-sexual sms's... no, friendship between men and women is not possible if at the same time they don't have some additional relationship (brother-sister; husband-wife etc.)

[Lote-Tree]

i used to belive that friendship between men and women is possible. i even used to fight to prove it. until one day i found out that someone i considered to be my male-friend was sending to me some nasty-annonymous-sexual sms's... no, friendship between men and women is not possible if at the same time they don't have some additional relationship (brother-sister; husband-wife etc.)

That is terrible. But don't just base your arguments on just one experience. Majority of us have had that kind of dissappointment. But we learn from experience and find better friends :-)

[Durgamol]

That is terrible. But don't just base your arguments on just one experience. Majority of us have had that kind of dissappointment. But we learn from experience and find better friends :-)

i know that but i didn't find any male friend until now... But i did find my future husband anyhow, i hope one day it will be possible for me to believe in it again

[Lote-Tree]

i know that but i didn't find any male friend until now... But i did find my future husband anyhow, i hope one day it will be possible for me to believe in it again

I hope so too :-)

I believe when we are teenagers male and female friendships can be compounded by hormones. It is natural. But later in life when we learn to control our sex instinct and our hormones are balanced out then it becomes easier for friendship to develop and that kind of friendship to be lasting. But even then you can't stop the Love Thing happening. But you can control the sexual aspect....

[Moira]

It is possible for men and women to be friends.
It happens though that in some cases one is attracted to the other but because the other does not have the same feelings/ is not interested, the relationship stays a platonic one.

For me for example, my friends' (girls) boyfriends or husbands are sexless, they are friends, fullstop.

[Annamariah]

I've had many male friends, and they've always been just friends, not boyfriends

[Lag866]

I think it is possible and this is from experience. I have many guy friends who have stayed only friends.

[Reccura]

yeah. That's possible. Well, except the personality of the girl and the boy... if one's flirty and the other's a flirt... no need to say anything. ZAP! They're together.

[EAP]

Boys and girls having sex can't be friends?

[Shalot]

Boys and girls having sex can't be friends?

nope. most women can't separate sex and love and they end up having feelings for the guy who considers her nothing more than a _____ buddy.

[Lote-Tree]

nope. most women can't separate sex and love and they end up having feelings for the guy who considers her nothing more than a _____ buddy.

I have recently come across that last word! I don't know what to make of it

As you say it seems to be true...while men can have sex without any emotional attachments but women find it difficult...I wonder why? Is it because of supression of their sexuality by men forced them into this kind of emotional blackmail...

[Idril]

As you say it seems to be true...while men can have sex without any emotional attachments but women find it difficult...

That may be the case the majority of the time but I've certainly known people who haven't fit into that mold, women who just want a boy toy and men who need to be in love to have a sexual relationship. I think it all comes down to emotional intimacy, women seem to have a need or a craving for it while men tend to avoid it. Of course, not all women fit into that category or men for that matter.

[Lote-Tree]

That may be the case the majority of the time but I've certainly known people who haven't fit into that mold, women who just want a boy toy and men who need to be in love to have a sexual relationship. I think it all comes down to emotional intimacy, women seem to have a need or a craving for it while men tend to avoid it. Of course, not all women fit into that category or men for that matter.

Yes. Women are changing. They are more freer to express their sexuality these days than when they were in victorian times. Perhaps this emotional needs comes from too much dependency on men in the past?