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Thread: *Le Gasp* Lily Adams Has Written Poetry!

  1. #1
    Beautant Lily Adams's Avatar
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    *Le Gasp* Lily Adams Has Written Poetry!

    I'm really not a poet. This is probably the best poem I've ever written. My "creative outlet" is drawing and I'm not even very good at that, so don't expect too much.

    We had to write a Shakespearean Sonnet for English, and here's mine:

    Hark, turn your face upward to the night sky
    which Nyx has spread her dark torn wings across.
    The tears reveal glowing orbs up so high
    and they shine brightly for the daytime's loss.*
    Look closely and see the clusters of light
    turn into a stunning great galaxy.
    Softly fall upon your face stardust might
    as the glowing stars sway and dance lightly.
    Glowing blues, yellows, and reds leap as one
    and too soon sadly must shrink and decease.
    Mourn not: those cherished orbs are not done:
    they shall return to shower Earth with peace.
    For every death oh so grevious
    a re-birth occurs which is glorious.

    *A friend of mine wrote this line. Heh heh. ^^' What? She just kind of took it and wrote in that line. Here she's AdoreroDio.

    Comments? Criticism? The last two lines really bug me and I think maybe sometimes I sound like Yoda or something the way the I say my sentences. *shrug*

    Spaaaaace. <3
    Last edited by Lily Adams; 05-26-2007 at 08:04 PM.


    Tomorrow always holds the promise of something new and exciting. I am the Jetsons meet the Flintstones.

  2. #2
    veni vidi vixi Bakiryu's Avatar
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    Wow. That's beautiful. You kinda sound like him *smiles*
    Shall these bones live?

  3. #3
    Beautant Lily Adams's Avatar
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    Wow. Thanks. I never thought someone would call it "beautiful".

    Yes, yes...Yoda.


    Tomorrow always holds the promise of something new and exciting. I am the Jetsons meet the Flintstones.

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    Ditsy Pixie Niamh's Avatar
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    Thats very good! And it is beautiful!
    Fancy trying the form contest? its a type of sonnet at the moment!(only three days left though!)
    "Come away O human child!To the waters of the wild, With a faery hand in hand, For the worlds more full of weeping than you can understand."
    W.B.Yeats

    "If it looks like a Dwarf and smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf (or a latrine wearing dungarees)"
    Artemins Fowl and the Lost Colony by Eoin Colfer


    my poems-please comment Forum Rules

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    Registered User AdoreroDio's Avatar
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    Very Good! I love it- except for the spelling error- "mourn". LOL. I really really like it- you should write more often even though I also know how hard it is for you to write poetry at all, let alone good one's like this. It is very beautiful. You'll make Ms.Gant proud. LOL. It's better than mine too. Anyways- yes I am that infamous one-line writer *bows*
    "O reason, reason, abstract phantom of the waking state, I had already expelled you from my dreams, now I have reached a point where those dreams are about to become fused with apparent realities: now there is only room here for myself. "
    -Louis Aragon


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    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Lovely sonnet! Try writing more of them!
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  7. #7
    Beautant Lily Adams's Avatar
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    Thank you, all of you!

    I'm too shy to enter in a contest! Maybe...

    Ha ha. I fixed the spelling error. I'm usually the one who is picky about that! XD

    I have gotten praise from the infamous Pendragon...I feel honored. *bows humbly*


    Tomorrow always holds the promise of something new and exciting. I am the Jetsons meet the Flintstones.

  8. #8
    Our wee Olympic swimmer Janine's Avatar
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    Lily Adams, hi, Wow, I loved your sonnet! It is beautiful. I can relate to what you said since I, too, am more of an artist than a poet. but I have to say there have been some terrific artists who also were poets. You know both forms are so 'visual' and it is obvious from your poem/sonnet you are a very 'visual' person.
    It amazes me how everyone who claims they can't write a descent poem comes up with something extraordinary. Where have they been hiding?
    Lily Adams - "You are a poet and you don't know it!"
    I really commend you and please do enter the contest. I think you have a good chance of winning....Madame Shakespeare.
    "It's so mysterious, the land of tears."

    Chapter 7, The Little Prince ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

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    Registered User AdoreroDio's Avatar
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    I must tell you Janine that knowing Lily in real life I know very well that it is extremely amazing that she ever wrote this wonderful of a poem. No offense to her but all of her other poems....well weren't really poems at all. She really isn't a poet- she is a cartoonist (that's the best word I could come up with Lily). So yes, this poem is marvelous but don't expect to see much more poems from her....
    "O reason, reason, abstract phantom of the waking state, I had already expelled you from my dreams, now I have reached a point where those dreams are about to become fused with apparent realities: now there is only room here for myself. "
    -Louis Aragon


  10. #10
    Ditsy Pixie Niamh's Avatar
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    you've shown great ability Miss lily! maybe you have found the form most suitable to you!
    "Come away O human child!To the waters of the wild, With a faery hand in hand, For the worlds more full of weeping than you can understand."
    W.B.Yeats

    "If it looks like a Dwarf and smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf (or a latrine wearing dungarees)"
    Artemins Fowl and the Lost Colony by Eoin Colfer


    my poems-please comment Forum Rules

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    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lily Adams View Post
    Thank you, all of you!

    I'm too shy to enter in a contest! Maybe...

    Ha ha. I fixed the spelling error. I'm usually the one who is picky about that! XD

    I have gotten praise from the infamous Pendragon...I feel honored. *bows humbly*
    Infamous? Porquoi?

    Last edited by Pendragon; 05-27-2007 at 10:58 AM.
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  12. #12
    Ditsy Pixie Niamh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pendragon View Post
    Infamous? Porquoi?

    You are more or less noted as the master poet of the site and to get a complement from you means alot to us Pen.
    "Come away O human child!To the waters of the wild, With a faery hand in hand, For the worlds more full of weeping than you can understand."
    W.B.Yeats

    "If it looks like a Dwarf and smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf (or a latrine wearing dungarees)"
    Artemins Fowl and the Lost Colony by Eoin Colfer


    my poems-please comment Forum Rules

  13. #13
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Niamh View Post
    You are more or less noted as the master poet of the site and to get a complement from you means alot to us Pen.
    Ah. shucks! There are many others I'd place above myself, and that isn't false modesty...
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  14. #14
    Beautant Lily Adams's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Janine View Post
    Lily Adams, hi, Wow, I loved your sonnet! It is beautiful. I can relate to what you said since I, too, am more of an artist than a poet. but I have to say there have been some terrific artists who also were poets. You know both forms are so 'visual' and it is obvious from your poem/sonnet you are a very 'visual' person.
    It amazes me how everyone who claims they can't write a descent poem comes up with something extraordinary. Where have they been hiding?
    Lily Adams - "You are a poet and you don't know it!"
    I really commend you and please do enter the contest. I think you have a good chance of winning....Madame Shakespeare.
    Yes,I am quite visual. I need to read things to understand them.
    This is my best poem, and the other ones that I've written stink.

    I've entered the contest!


    I must tell you Janine that knowing Lily in real life I know very well that it is extremely amazing that she ever wrote this wonderful of a poem. No offense to her but all of her other poems....well weren't really poems at all. She really isn't a poet- she is a cartoonist (that's the best word I could come up with Lily). So yes, this poem is marvelous but don't expect to see much more poems from her....
    Yeah, I know. When I wrote it I had this massive vomiting of creativity.

    Aw, come now, you liked my one about Lennie from Of Mice and Men. Well I think you were just being nice or something.

    My love of then night and space inspired me. <3 I'm such a night person.

    Yes, don't...I can just barely write poetry. I think the only reason that this one is so good is that I knew the rules and it was very structured.


    Infamous? Porquoi?
    You are more or less noted as the master poet of the site and to get a complement from you means alot to us Pen.
    Exactly.


    Tomorrow always holds the promise of something new and exciting. I am the Jetsons meet the Flintstones.

  15. #15
    Beautant Lily Adams's Avatar
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    Hey everyone, I wrote another poem type thing. I have to write a Greek Chorus on a "current event". Again, I have no clue how to write a poem except a fairly decent sonnet. I don't have backround and I don't know the rules. Sorry.

    So, while contemplating what I should write about, I thought, "I don't want to do something common like global warming." I wanted to think outside the box.

    So I thought of fundamentalists. You know, "my way or the highway".

    Heavily inspired by Jihad Jerry and the Evildoers, so that means it's controversial.
    http://www.mineisnotaholywar.com/



    "My Way"

    Pretending to see, hear, and speak no evil; seemingly pure and white.
    Yet still forcing opinions and their bias.

    Controlling and manipulating your mind so subtly via mass media.
    My way is better than your way because someone told me so.

    Death, pain, and suffering is rampant because of “my way”.
    Sunni versus Shi'ite,
    Believer versus non-believer,
    My way of life versus your way of life.

    My way is better than your way because someone told me so.
    I am special and you are not.

    Humans are naturally irrational, but remember:
    “You look through your glasses and the rest of the world looks at them.”





    So I'd like some advice...additions, corrections, etc. You know the deal. Gotta print it up by tomorrow, though.

    I'm also making a really neat drawing/collage thing to go with it. I feel so inspired...

    Gerald Vincent Casale FOR PRESIDENT.
    Last edited by Lily Adams; 01-04-2008 at 03:59 PM.


    Tomorrow always holds the promise of something new and exciting. I am the Jetsons meet the Flintstones.

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