Jouzou's is responsible, it is all his fault. I like to blame things on people who haven't been around in 6 mon...ooops. Hi Jouzou, I er, yes hi.Originally Posted by littlewing53
Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
Jouzou's is responsible, it is all his fault. I like to blame things on people who haven't been around in 6 mon...ooops. Hi Jouzou, I er, yes hi.
Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
"It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes."
Douglas Adams
"Frivolity is a stern taskmaster."
Zippy the Pinhead
~Posting images tutorial~
If it's on the chicken's foot, doesn't have much of a choice, does it?
Why did the potato chip go swimming?
Por una cabeza
Si ella me olvida
Qué importa perderme
Mil veces la vida
Para qué vivir
Well, the eye of the potato quickly became the eye of the storm and the next thing we knew, water everywhere!!
Why is it that the best tasting chewing gums lose their flavor in less than one minute....?
Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty
~Albert Einstein
It's a plot. They want you to spend more money buying more of the gum you like so that you get that great taste, and what better way to do that then to shorten the length of the taste sensation experienced by the average gum chewer, while raising the price of the gum.
First, the researchers conducted a phone survey compiled by professors at the local university, using temporary empoyees, to call people out of the blue and out of the phone book at random and then asked them their favorite flavor.
Then they constructed a mathmatical model that calculates the number of people who would spend money to purchase a particular gum flavor.
Then they contacted the chemistry department and asked for someone who could manipulate chemical compounds, including those used in the production of chewing gum.
Then they appointed a member of the research team to represent their group. Then they called a meeting so that they might present their findings, using said appointed member to spearhead the proceedings.
Then they discussed the matter at hand over coffee and doughnuts and made fun of the secretary because she ordered doughnuts and not bagels. Then they ordered a catered lunch and lost the receipt, and then tried to turn it in as a business expense without the reciept.
Then they went through with their original plan, which had nothing to do with the problem of gums that lose their flavor. '
Next Question: Why is it so hard to go to sleep when you need it, and then why is it so hard to wake up when all you need to do is sleep?
"...if you weren't smart enough to get a pedophile in a dress to put a small amount of water on the child’s forehead, then what the eff did you think was going to happen?
Youse never hoird of da Sandman? Unreliable. Hard ta find good help dese days. Sheesh!
What is so facinating about one's navel?
Some of us laugh
Some of us cry
Some of us smoke
Some of us lie
But it's all just the way
that we cope with our lives...
The fact that if one looks closely enough, one may discover the mysteries of life itself. Or at least some belly button lint, take your pick.
Why do people use the word "where" when they should say "were" and vice versa?
"It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes."
Douglas Adams
"Frivolity is a stern taskmaster."
Zippy the Pinhead
~Posting images tutorial~
because they don't pay enough attention to what they're typing. . . man, you just missed it! There was a . . . oh, never mind.
Why do people insist on using *bad* words as nouns, verbs, adjectives, and all sorts of parts of speech, when it couldn't possibly be that many?
A bit that I wrote: Vanilla Ice Cream. Comments and critique welcomed! :-)
Lack of imagination, laziness, mind in the gutter-- tack your pick
Why would an author write an entire book that used a certain vulgar word, (no, not THAT one!) on every single page of a 280 novel!!?
Some of us laugh
Some of us cry
Some of us smoke
Some of us lie
But it's all just the way
that we cope with our lives...
The author in question was completely obsessed with the word ooophygigsnnisyr. That is such a bad word, I have to go wash my hands after typing it.
What do frogs eat with their hamburgers?
"It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes."
Douglas Adams
"Frivolity is a stern taskmaster."
Zippy the Pinhead
~Posting images tutorial~
Ever tried frog legs?
Some of us laugh
Some of us cry
Some of us smoke
Some of us lie
But it's all just the way
that we cope with our lives...
Taste like my legs.
UV rays suck hard. Even if you apply sunblock with an SPF 1000, the heat would still find a way to creep inside your body. WHY???
"You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life."
To go wrong in one's own way is better than to go right in someone else's" - Dostoevksy
Sun block doesnt prevent the heat, it prevents the nasty UV radiation from causing mutations in your skin, resulting in melanoma.
If Sun Block stops UV rays, and the Ozone depletion is causing UV to penetrate the earth's atmosphere more easily. Why dont we patch the ozone layer with Sun Block instead of wasting time flying to the moon?
There once was a scotsman named Drew
Who put too much wine in his stew
He felt a bit drunk
And fell off his bunk
And landed smack into his shoe ~(C) Ms Niamh Anne King
Well, Stephen Hawking has been saying of late we'd better be lokking for a new place to live, and he's rather unusually intelligent, so...
Do you ever wonder why you have never seen half the creatures that live in your neck of the woods?
Some of us laugh
Some of us cry
Some of us smoke
Some of us lie
But it's all just the way
that we cope with our lives...
No, I don't wonder.
Why do we use the phrase, "neck of your woods"?
Same reason we say "foot of the mountain" and "head of the class"
Would a mountain's foot kick you into my neck of the woods?
Some of us laugh
Some of us cry
Some of us smoke
Some of us lie
But it's all just the way
that we cope with our lives...
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