The Life and Times of Jules Vercini

[SleepyWitch]

cool
i haven't read all of it yet... but I liked what I've read so far, except that the language seems a bit too stilted sometimes.. no offence....

so far, my opinion of Jules is that he's a perfect ****hole, but i love the way he's written.. plus, he's hard to pin down.. maybe he's not that bad after all.... moreover, he's like most (successful) people I know, so I think it's a very realistic portrait...
is he supposed to be some modern day dandy? I'm taking this lecture on Oscar Wilde and last week the prof talked about the dandy... it soooo reminded me of Jules....

I've got a question, though... i think your characters live in the US? they're English sounds extremely British, though... Is Jules from England originally? if he is, it would make sense.. but what about Ana and the other characters?

[Countess]

>so far, my opinion of Jules is that he's a perfect ****hole

LMAO. People either love or hate him. I'm in love with him - if he were real, I'd marry him. Of course, I see all his potential/positive qualities and write about his negative while simultaneously overlooking them.

> but i love the way he's written.. plus, he's hard to pin down.. maybe he's not that bad after all....

He's not a bad guy on the inside. He has good feelings and a sense of right and wrong, but like most young people he's impulsive and short-sighted. He doesn't consider the consequences of his actions, and he can be too tenacious at times.

Also, he's lacking self-confidence, so what you see is what he presents to people so that they'll love him. You can see some of his self-doubt come out when he first meets Nate.

>moreover, he's like most (successful) people I know, so I think it's a very realistic portrait...

Well, he's based on a real person, did you know that? There's a successful personality out there that I fictionalized and wa-lah! Instant Jules.

>is he supposed to be some modern day dandy?

Yes! Yes! Yes! (I'm jumping up and down and applauding) Thank you for getting it! Exactly! Awesome.

>I've got a question, though... i think your characters live in the US? they're English sounds extremely British, though... Is Jules from England originally?

You're too astute. He's half-Italian, half-British and a jet setter, so he's been exposed to various cultures in his years. Plus, my real person is British, and Jules is modeled on him, so naturally he sounds British (LMAO.) Vercini is actually a satiric take on Versace - I'm poking fun at the fashion industry (which pisses me off that The Devil Wears Prada came out before this landed on anyone's desk). I poke fun at Hollywood; I have two horses named Jake and Heathcliff (Brokeback Mountain). There are lots of cultural references throughout if you keep a watchful eye. You've already picked up on the British dandy concept.

Thanks for reading. Good job. Okay, maybe I'll post some additional chapters here. I love talking about it though. Plus, I'm rewriting the screenplay, and understanding what translates and what doesn't translate in the readers' mind is VERY important...Tanya

[SleepyWitch]

cool thanks for the explanations.. i dunno the first thing about fashion or the fashion industry, so maybe that's why i didn't get the allusions...
i'll try to read the other half of what you've posted so far tonight or one of these days

[SleepyWitch]

hey Countess,
I've finally read all of what you've posted here and I still find your story extremely fascinating.

about your style, i think it reads more like some kind of report than a run-of-the-mill novel, because it summarizes long stretches of time in rather short paragraphs.
maybe you could do a little more showing instead of telling and stretch out the important passages a bit (e.g. how Jules and Nate make friends all of a sudden;Ana's rape; what Jules and Ana feel when Nate dies) but in general i like this style. it's unusual, not like any novel I've read so far.

it's very fast paced and plot-driven but the characters are interesting at the same time. the fast pace leaves you breathless and kinda reflects their rapid descent into tragedy. there's hardly any time to think about why the characters are doing what they do and you get the impression they don't think a lot themselves, either. they just rush headlong from one 'situation' into the next. at first it's all funny, playful etc but it gradually builds up into a full-blown disaster.
is the second half going to be the same? hm, I'd like to see some slower-paced scenes, a bit more reflection and more details about Jule's and Ana's lives after Nate dies. i think after the crazy rush leading up to the murder and trial, they should slow down a bit and we should see how this experience has impacted on their lives and attitudes.

about the interview: I still think it's brilliantly written. it reads just like a real interview from a news mag! it's also an ideal opening, because it makes you want to know who Jules is and what happened before his latest transformation.

"It was mad. I had this huge legal battle hanging over my head, and at the same time two of my closest friends were involved and were also going to stand trial. It was difficult at times to know what was best for myself and my friends."

poor poor baby Jules! heehee, these lines are brilliant.. it's just like in real life: when some celebrity is involved in a crime it's treated like a rough time for them, not like something terrible they should be held responsible for. and after a little stint of insanity, they go back to business as usual and even get pittied for all they've been through. How do they get away with it??

"Her flowers die constantly. Just last week she killed a rosebush she had imported from some foreign soil, and you should seen what happened to the orange tree. The poor woman hasn't a green thumb or even a yellow finger. I have a strong impulse to shout out 'bloody murder' every time she overwaters."

some inconsistencies:
*the narrators voice/ the characters' speech varies in register: sometimes (especially around the beginning) it's very formal and old fashioned (e.g. nocturnal festivity for party) and sometimes it's colloquial/ everyday language.... is this intended? if it doesn't have any clear purpose, maybe you should change it...
i think it would be O.K. for Julian to use these expressions to show off/ because his sense of humour involves using funny archaic words. but the narrators diction should be clearly distinct from his from the beginning on, especially as the narrator stops using old fashioned expressions after a while.
*at the beginning (when they prepare for the rave) it's not clear where they are: what country, who's flat, are they on campus etc


have you finished the novel? wanna read more

[Countess]

Hey Sleepy Witch,

Thanks for your suggestions. I think what you're experiencing as you read is many different influences intermingling themselves onto the page. I love Lovecraft and Poe's narrative style, which varies quite differently from Dostoevsky/Tolstoy, whom I also love, and I have a great affection for poetry as you know, such as Lord Byron, and certain playwrights, especially Oscar Wilde. Since I don't stick with one genre they have assimiliated into the style you're reading.

Two writers I greatly respect (because their IQ's are leagues above mine) noted I had managed to merge traditional, "old English" with contemporary "new English" and they seemed to think it was a good thing because it is unique - it ties the past to the present in ways that perhaps haven't been done before. You're keen to have picked up on that as well.

Regarding your other comments - you're right in that I should do more showing in certain scenes. That's difficult for me, I think, because I don't like to write a lot of nonsense, and yet people talk about nonsense all the time, so it's realistic that characters should discuss their sick Uncles or the bur that got stuck in their foot the other day. I just personally find that conversation boring (I do alot of tuning out in my own life when things don't interest me) so it's hard for me to be boring to myself. (--:

Oh well. I guess I'll go introduce an Aunt with a penchant for purple flowered hats or something. (--:

Very good suggestions. I have downloaded your short story, fwiw, and promise to read as soon as I get a chance. That may take a few days, as I am a single parent, have a laundry list of "to dos" and have promised two other people to read their work - BUT, yours comes first, as you have been so dedicated this entire time to mine.

Thank you.

[SleepyWitch]

so it's realistic that characters should discuss their sick Uncles or the bur that got stuck in their foot the other day.

Oh well. I guess I'll go introduce an Aunt with a penchant for purple flowered hats or something. (--:

the bur that got stuck in their foot

I have downloaded your short story, fwiw, and promise to read as soon as I get a chance. That may take a few days, as I am a single parent, have a laundry list of "to dos" and have promised two other people to read their work - BUT, yours comes first, as you have been so dedicated this entire time to mine.

you mean "Revels before Lent"? yep, it's 25 pages or something

thanks for reading it I hope you'll enjoy it. make sure you've got the latest version, because i made lots of changes and the first version was crap. (did you download it today?--> then it's the latest version)

[Adolescent09]

I'm working with a screenplay writer, and have written the first draft of the book's screenplay. The general structure (his idea) is brilliant but some problems have to be resolved. Once it's in good shape I'm going to try to sell it, and use that a means to not sacrifice artistic integrity when it comes to the book.

The short of it is I may end up posting the rest of it here, but not now as my goal is to have the screenplay sold and made into a movie, and the movie produced so editors/agents will be hungry enough that they'll let me dictate the details of the book.

I don't want some moron changing the book, deleting my favorite words and turning it into pop fiction (vomit).

HOpefully that answers your question on some level. If you want I can send the rest to you privately, however.

Thanks for reading, Tanya

Countess, Countess... You write terrifically... incorporating a genuine level of interest and maturity into your characters that is (and I mean this) rarely seen in contemporary literature. I would suggest though that you don't post everything online, or if you do at least get your literature copyrighted first because... as it is... anyone can just take your work and claim it as their own which I would HATE to see.

Your writing, although I believe I've stipulated this before, gets on the pretentious side at times, but this is nothing a little editing won't get rid of and turn your whole project into a flawless, thought provoking piece. But hey, I needn't say that! The votes for your story speaks for itself! 8 to 1 people believe your story is terrific!(and that one must be plain jealous ). Keep it up Countess. I really am enjoying the read... but your chapters seem very short. Is this going to be a short book?

[Countess]

Thanks for the advice Adolescent. No, I won't post it all online for the reason you have listed, although the idea that anyone would even want to steal my work is absurd, seeing as my first score in the contest was a 4.7 out of 10 (I should have failed English).

I do write "high-brow" prose because I prefer it myself. (-: I'm rarely content unless I'm reading Wharton or Wilde or Shaw or some other writer whose main characters are all snooty and clever (okay, Bastat is different in some respects - more dedicated to Poe and Lovecraft).

The book is not short. My chapters are, however, I suppose because I don't beat around the bush. I tend to ask myself "Is this conversation/dialogue necessary?" and if it doesn't seem to add to the book, I don't write it or delete it. Narration covers parts I would personally find boring to read (You remember in early English classes "Describe how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Well, I hated that - I don't care how the guy gets into the car or if he picks his nose on the sly, or if you can see through her skirt because she doesn't have on a slip. I've never had a single question asking me the color of the protagonist's car on an English exam, so if the color is a lovely shade of blue, then it's blue for a reason - it symbolizes something.)

Everything has meaning in whatever I write, from the names of characters down to their interior decoration. That's how I work and it's probably my greatest weakness.

BTW, I like your fox leaping over walking cashmere. That's hysterical.

It's 12:30 AM, I just got home from work and am tired. Bye for now.

[andave_ya]

WHOOP! I didn't see this! Getting bookmarked, I'm gonna read it when I get back. Yay!