Anyone for Coffee? (no boys allowed)

[grace86]

Perhaps you should try using your "feminine charm."

I think that's what perhaps screwed things up in the first place.

[Misscaroline]

Erm... then I don't know what to tell you. If you don't mind me asking, what happened? (No obligation to answer- but sometimes it helps to get a shoulder to lean on or advice. But we'll still love you if you tell silly lil MC to can it! I am sorry by the way... Is there anything I can do to make you feel better??)

[ShoutGrace]

I think that's what perhaps screwed things up in the first place.

I think that you're thinking too much. What are the other possible reasons for this lack of communication?

[grace86]

Well MC, just letting you know cuz you and I were discussing it yesterday and the day before I think...just letting you know how it turned out.

Hm, story, kinda long. Short (very very short) version goes like this: I've had guy best friend for six years. Fiancee doesn't like him, like an idiot I try to keep both best friend and fiancee...doesn't work. Umm, fiancee told me to not talk to best friend (which is a long story in itself) and after a series of events where I ignored best friend in presence of fiancee, best friend now ignoring me permanently....reciprocity.

[grace86]

Erm... then I don't know what to tell you. If you don't mind me asking, what happened? (No obligation to answer- but sometimes it helps to get a shoulder to lean on or advice. But we'll still love you if you tell silly lil MC to can it! I am sorry by the way... Is there anything I can do to make you feel better??)

I just think the venting helps...can't be too emotional at work anyway.

[ShoutGrace]

Hm, story, kinda long. Short (very very short) version goes like this: I've had guy best friend for six years. Fiancee doesn't like him, like an idiot I try to keep both best friend and fiancee...doesn't work. Umm, fiancee told me to not talk to best friend (which is a long story in itself) and after a series of events where I ignored best friend in presence of fiancee, best friend now ignoring me permanently....reciprocity.

(A) I think that fiancee needs to be smacked upside the head.

(B) I've had my share of unfortunate experiences on that front (i.e., girlfriends having "close" friends of the opposite gender), so I'm not a good source of information, I guess . . . I would immediately agree with the fiancee, but that is just because I've learned to be that way through experience.

(A) It isn't ever right to be rude or callous towards somebody, simply because they have been a good friend to you. Fiancee is being unreasonable, and his dictating of your actions is hurting someone who doesn't deserve it.

Of course, in an ideal world the one who you love and want to be with should be able to trust you, and not feel threatened.

But it's a less than ideal world.

[Misscaroline]

ShoutGrace, that ideal world makes you sound like a pessimist.

But I agree with ShoutGrace. It's ludicruous to ask you to give up a friend, and Fiancee should be more reasonable without grounds for his animosity. I also think that if you want to try and be friends again, you should, but be careful. The events sound rather tangled as it is. And I would also prescribe a minor thumping to knock some sense into Fiancee- grace86, you are a wonderufl person as far as I can tell, and there's no reason he should doubt you or your choices! Besides, your company is your company. Tell him to deal.

[grace86]

This is truly a "girl's thread" conversation. Emotional distraught and all.

You make good points, but it would take forever to elaborate on some of the points that you mentioned. I can agree that it is very definitely not an ideal world.

Fiancee has grounds.

[Misscaroline]

Ah. That was what I was worried about. I just didn't want to accuse you of anything you didn't deserve...

...so how bad is it? I really want to help, but there is only so much I can do online...

[ShoutGrace]

ShoutGrace, that ideal world makes you sound like a pessimist.

How about realist?

Females are not always faithful, and as far as my experiences are concerned, I wish that I would have been more suspecting of other men. I can't help the fact that I agree with fiancee's motives - one of the reasons that I am single is the fact that I couldn't restrict a romantic interest's list of friends, and I very well might if I was in a relationship. Especially if "indiscretions" have already taken place.

[grace86]

MC, lol, people can usually ask me anything. If I don't want to answer, I tell them to go away.

After a fight with my fiancee that I was telling my best friend about, he realized he had feelings for me.

He told me I shouldn't keep that from my fiancee. So I told him. Naturally my fiancee doesn't want me to talk to him. And I cannot hate my fiancee for that.

So, as mentioned before, I listened to my fiancee.

[Misscaroline]

Ah, so I was right in presuming that you didn't actually do anything wrong? Or is there more to the story?

[Nightshade]

thats all

[grace86]

Nope that's it. I'm a good girl!

[grace86]

Well hello Night! Glad to see I've got you engrossed