Edmund Spenser, in his epic wedding poem The Epithalamion, compared his fiance's breasts to "a bowle of creame uncrudded", and thereby set the english language back upwards of seven hundred years. If it wasn't for William Shakespeare, we would still be talking about "The tulk that the trammes of tresoun ther wrought". Seriously, just stay away from it.


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Aaaack!!! Aaaack!!! Where are Petrarch's Love, Hyacinth Girl, Britomart, and the other "Spencerians" when you need 'em? Personally, I found the Amoretti and the concluding Epithalamion to be an exquisite body of some of the most beautiful poetry in the English language. True... there are phrases which strike the modern ear as odd... but then again, I can't remember the last time I spoke of a "bare bodkin" or "farddles". neither do I doubt that much of what we think of as the most exqusite poetic language of our time would have struck Spencer's era as crude or comic... and may be thought of by future generations (without some concept of the context) as the same.

Perhaps we should warn everyone to stay away from Antony and Cleopatra too, and I'm sure I could find a few lines that would get Shakespeare's sonnets banned from the curriculum.
Would you also like to get rid of Chaucer while we're at it? That Middle English stuff is hardly up to date.
) is nature of the courtly love concept... the poet who continually pines over a woman who he will never have. Dante and Petrarch somewhat escape our desire to exclaim, "Oh come on! Get over her already!" when their true loves die. Spencer's Amoretti, however, presents us with something of a view of the poet's courtship of his wife. He begins, as is standard, bewitched by a ravishing beauty who spurns him... but as time passes, the relationship evolves until it blooms into something far deeper than a mere sexual conquest. I especially admire the following sonnet:


