Poetry Contest

[Orionsbelt]

Hi Mir,

I live in West Deer Township... most people never heard of it but its the furthest northeastern township in Allegheny county. I love this board. There are so many good ideas floating around. You?

[mir]

Allison Park - another place most people have neve heard of. it's in Hampton Township. but i go to school in the city.

is Allegheny near Hampton?

i love this forum too! it's really interesting to make friends with people you've never even met. and there are lots of great literary games.

[Petrarch's Love]

Don't know if this is in time for Virg. to consider for contest purposes, but thought I'd post it anyway. By the way, great poems this round everyone.

Modern Mythology

He is the light bearer
Like Lucifer
But unfallen.
He is the sharp toothed
Like Fenris Wolf
But unbound.
He is the winged
Like Icarus
But unmistaken.
He is stone
Like the Gargoyle
But Unworn.

He came from the far East
(Made in China).
He emerged from a womb
(Of styrofoam packing).
His blue glass eyes guard
Everyday rooms
Where he is many things to many people.

He is stone,
A beautiful statue
For the one who admires the Gothic.
He is winged,
An angel
For the one who misses a departed pet.
He is sharp toothed,
An image of strength
For the one who imagines running with wolves.
He is the light bearer,
A candle
For the one who is tired of the dark.

[Petrarch's Love]

ktd--Since I was away when you gave out the responses and decision, I wanted to say thanks for the detailed feedback now. It was nice of you to take the time to write a careful response to each poem.

Petrarch, this contest was yours. And then I read Virgil’s poem

I'm honored to have come so close , but I think you made a great choice with Virgil's streamlined haikus. A belated congrats to Virg. as well.

[Virgil]

Thanks Petrarch.

The current contest is now closed. I will post a winner this evening.

[Virgil]

First, let me apologize for taking so long. My father's illness and ultimate passing took me away from this. OK we have a winner. Let's start with the others.

Petrarch's: The repetition of "He is" at first seemed a little boring, but then I realized it reflected the fixed nature of a statuette. I partcularly liked the ending:

For the one who imagines running with wolves.
He is the light bearer,
A candle
For the one who is tired of the dark.

What I didn't care for was I felt were two opposing tones, one of seriousness ("He is the light bearer/Like Lucifer/But unfallen") and one of comic ("Made in China" and "from a womb/Of styrofoam packing).

Juzjon: Your poem had nothing to do with the image. Perhaps you don't understand the rules? I also didn't understand your spelling, which I at first thought was a mistake but now I believe to be intentional.

Orionsbelt: I thought this was very interesting. This could easily have won, but what confused me was why the insect kingdom? I liked the form and I liked quite a few lines:

The potato bug wondered at the hard stone coat
“A hard and durable shell!
Through the valley of death I could walk with it
and storm the gates of hell.”

and

The council conviened far into the night
The gargoyle consigned by fate
for all the grace in heaven
stone lips will not enter debate

Riesa:

Snowpetal: Very nice. Could have been a winner. Some great lines: "I could run with the wind in its starry soar" and

I asked for the life that is given to statues
I begged for the fortune that comes with the fame
The prize that I sought has long palled in reflection
For years I have dreamed of my freedom of yore -

I felt the ending was a little weak, though. I think if you had deeted the last stanza, the poem would have ended just right. I hope you continue with us, Snowpetal.

autolycus: a good poem. I really liked the flame/fire imagery that ran through it. It's drawback was that I couldn't find any superlative lines that overwhelm. But an interesting story around the statue.

And which brings us to the winner, Mir: A really fun poem. And the rhythm and rhyme was maintained throughout and it complimented the fun and exotic nature of its theme. For instance: notice how this stanza reflects the mood:

Not just birds could loop and twirl,
Glory in the joy of flight -
Every man and every girl,
Every beast had such delight.

But the fun also has the sense of darkness, "the painful gift to cry". I really like that phrase. Here's that stanza:

The one return we were given -
Curse or blessing, ask the sky -
Was the chance to make hearts shriven;
Was the painful gift to cry.

And the concluding stanza marries together the dark with the auspicious:

We few, through tears carved or written,
Mourn for pasts where peace was king
Though by fate our dreams are bitten -
In shadows, we find our wings.

Very good Mir. Now you can select a photo.

[Riesa]

Riesa:

Oh, Virgil.

Congratulations mir! You deserved it, one heckuva poem.

[Petrarch's Love]

Congrats Mir. A well deserved win.

[autolycus]

Congrats Mir! *grin* the inspiration for my own poem anyway. Can't wait to see your new image.

[Orionsbelt]

Well Congats mir... I agree. Virgil, the answer is just a whim... I do appreciate your comments. I am not so concerned with winning, I just love making these things up. Looking forward to the next one.

[mir]

WHOA !

didn't see that one coming!

thanks virgil! though seriously, i thought everybody's poems were great. i have to say, riesa's was my favorite . . . if only because it is the wordly incarnation of .

okay, for a picture . . . i just want to see what everyone makes of this. it's by my favorite artist, Rodin:



it was either this or the Hand of God, but i couldn't find a good enough picture for that.

[Riesa]

What on earth is that person doing?

I'm glad you like a little mir.

[Virgil]

WHOA !

didn't see that one coming!

thanks virgil! though seriously, i thought everybody's poems were great. i have to say, riesa's was my favorite . . . if only because it is the wordly incarnation of .

okay, for a picture . . . i just want to see what everyone makes of this. it's by my favorite artist, Rodin:



it was either this or the Hand of God, but i couldn't find a good enough picture for that.

I guess that's a female? Does anyone know for certain?

[AimusSage]

Okay, I justed made a little poem It's a little rough, but I'll leave it as is.

Sculpting day.

I’m not wearing any clothes today.
The sculptor makes me strike a silly pose,
Balancing on my small and nimble toes.
He slowly begins to shape me out of clay.

The pose is getting too hard for me now.
All he shaped is my little, nimble fingers,
And meanwhile the sculptor lingers,
as he’s working on my frowning brow.

A five-minute break is what I need.
Drinking some booze and eating a cookie,
The sculptor thinks I’m a rookie!
I wouldn’t be if he took up some speed.

He’s working faster than before.
The clay is slipping through his hands,
And an almost finished statue stands,
When there is no more clay galore.

The left arm is still missing.
The sculptor tells me to stop posing
He is now done with all the shaping,
And I look like a freak gone fishing,
On a sculpting day.

[mir]

What on earth is that person doing?

i have NO IDEA . . . but i still like the sculpture

i don't know if that's a female or a male, Virgil . . . but i'm leaning toward female because the name of the sculpture is Iris, Messenger of the Gods.

nice poem, Aimus!