Imagine if you were the murderer
And the victim
You came up to yourself
With a murderous intent
That you recognised
And knew your next move,
Which one has the gun
"Not me"
"Me either"
But you're both lying.
Murdering b*astards
"Don't shoot"
" let's talk" you both say
Simultaneously,
Sneakily,
Pulling the trigger.
Winking at each other.
"Winner! "
For those who believe,
no explanation is necessary.
For those who do not,
none will suffice.
Interesting psychological tension... too close to the mark though. Enjoyed
Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor
Last edited by tailor STATELY; 08-12-2025 at 05:18 PM.
tailor
who am I but a stitch in time
what if I were to bare my soul
would you see me origami
7-8-2015
Theme – Self as Both Perpetrator and Victim
The poem explores the paradox of being both the aggressor and the target — a metaphor for internal conflict, guilt, or self-destructive tendencies.
The “murderer” and the “victim” are two aspects of the same self, meeting in a strange standoff.
2. Voice and Tone
Conversational but edged with menace.
The exchanges (“Not me” / “Me either”) feel like theatre dialogue, giving the scene a playful yet sinister air.
The tone shifts from tension to absurd camaraderie with the wink and the “Winner!”
3. Structure and Movement
The short lines mimic rapid mental exchanges — almost like quick cuts in a film.
The lack of traditional stanza breaks gives a claustrophobic feeling, as if there’s no escape from the confrontation.
The ending is sudden, almost comedic, undercutting the violence with dark playfulness.
4. Imagery and Symbolism
Gun: obvious weapon, but also a stand-in for decisive action or harm — the choice to destroy.
Winking: a gesture of complicity, suggesting the self is “in on the joke” of its own destruction.
The idea of pulling the trigger simultaneously could represent inevitability in self-defeat — no side “wins,” yet the poem declares a winner anyway.
5. Underlying Ideas
The self-sabotage loop: Knowing your own “next move” means you can’t outwit yourself.
The futility of trying to negotiate with your darker impulses.
A wry acceptance of one’s own destructive nature — almost celebrating it in the end.
Hey never forgotten poet…
… but was the gun charged? 🙂
I like the would be tension in your poem.
Hope you’re doing great!
Bar22do !!! Post us some poetry please
Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor
tailor
who am I but a stitch in time
what if I were to bare my soul
would you see me origami
7-8-2015
It's so nice of you to remember me, Stately... For so long ago. I have lost my fragile talent on the way, but if Calliope visits me, I might dare to post and submit sth again... in the meantime, I'll at least browse the most recent threads.
Sorry JB for using your space, I haven't found the PMs yet. And, as I reread your poem, I understand none of the two has the gun at all!
Last edited by Bar22do; 08-13-2025 at 05:11 PM.
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