A bit of confusion

[Murderous Moose]

I've just started reading Great Expectations, and so far am enjoying it. However, there is a particular sentence I'm having a terrible amount of trouble deciphering. Here's the particular passage, with the particular offending part underlined:

"There was a fiction that Mr. Wopsle "examined" the scholars once a quarter. What he did on those occasions was to turn up his cuffs, stick up his hair, and give us Mark Antony's oration over the body of Caesar. This was always followed by Collins's Ode on the Passions, wherein I particularly venerated Mr. Wopsle as Fear, whistling to keep his courage up. It was not with me then, as it was in later life, when I fell into the society of the Passions, and compared them with Collins and Wopsle, rather to the disadvantage of both gentlemen."

What exactly was not "with him"?

[mona amon]

My copy says- "This was always followed by Collins's Ode on the Passions, wherein I particularly venerated Mr. Wopsle as Revenge, throwing his blood-stained sword in thunder down, and taking the War-denouncing trumpet with a withering look. It was not with me then, as it was in later life, when I fell into the society of the Passions, and compared them with Collins and Wopsle, rather to the disadvantage of both gentlemen."

I think "It was not with me then, as it was in later life," means something like "I was not then, as I was later", that is, Pip was a different person then, and venerated Mr. Wopsle's performance (and no doubt, Collins's poem as well), but later, after he'd actually encountered the 'Passions' in real life, he felt much less veneration both for Mr. Wopsle and for Collins's Poetry.

[Jackson Richardson]

I'm sure Mona is right.

[Murderous Moose]

I think that's the most reasonable explanation for it. Thank you. :-)