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Thread: Litnet's version of Devil's dictionary

  1. #1366
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dark Muse View Post
    Trophy Wife: Looks pretty, hollow inside, easily replaced if broken or lost.
    Alternate definition: What you get if you marry a woman who's a better bowler than you are.

    Feline: An evolutionary cousin of the fee-tiger.

    Grammar

  2. #1367
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Grammar: Rules for speaking and writing a language, which change all the time. I distinctly remember being taught not to end a sentence with a preposition. That doesn't even set off grammar check now. We were also taught to avoid ain't, but it doesn't even set off Spellcheck now. And don't get me started on indenting paragraphs... grrrrrrrr!

    Politically Correct:
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  3. #1368
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    Politically Correct: A cautious tactic that lets other people think that you think like they’re supposed to.

    Trophy Husband:

  4. #1369
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    Trophy husband: An assertion by powerful women that they can be as short-sited and stupid as any man. You go girl!

    Food chain

  5. #1370
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    A word describing the realisation that every time you eat something, you are also eating everything that it has eaten, and everything that had been eaten by the thing that it ate, ad infinitum. Basically, this means that every time you eat something, you're eating sh*t.

    Anachronism:

  6. #1371
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    Anachronism: Being afraid of spiders before they actually existed.

    Mastodon
    Last edited by Pompey Bum; 02-12-2015 at 11:11 AM.

  7. #1372
    Registered User mona amon's Avatar
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    Mastodon - Huge, primeval, stomping, trumpeting creature with tusks used as a war vehicle in Lord of the Rings.

    Whisky

    Quote Originally Posted by Pompey Bum View Post
    Trophy husband: An assertion by powerful women that they can be as short-sited and stupid as any man. You go girl!
    Last edited by mona amon; 02-12-2015 at 11:15 AM.
    Exit, pursued by a bear.

  8. #1373
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    Whiskey: The sine qua non of small, hand-held brooms.

    Phoenix

  9. #1374
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    Phoenix: A place in Arizona where the major tourist attraction in the summer is the experience of going outside and feeling like you just entered a sauna. It may also refer to a strange bird whose notorious suicide attempts through self-immolation have always failed. I should introduce it to my dog, Fred.

    Generosity:

  10. #1375
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    Generosity: See tax deduction.

    Selfishness

  11. #1376
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    Selfishness: Haranguing the waitress all night and then not leaving a tip

    Tax:
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  12. #1377
    Registered User Calidore's Avatar
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    Tax: Push pins that hold up pix

    Vinyl
    You must be the change you wish to see in the world. -- Mahatma Gandhi

  13. #1378
    The Poetic Warrior Dark Muse's Avatar
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    Vinyl: Surperior way of listening to music

    Photograph

    Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. ~ Edgar Allan Poe

  14. #1379
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    You beat me to it, Dark Muse. Here's my version:

    Vinyl: An ethylene molecule running one hydrogen atom short of a full load.

    Photograph
    Last edited by YesNo; 02-12-2015 at 11:21 PM.

  15. #1380
    Registered User mona amon's Avatar
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    Photograph - an exact facsimile of other people projected onto a two-dimensional space, but for some reason makes you look fatter than you actually are and older than you want to be.

    Propoganda
    Last edited by mona amon; 02-13-2015 at 04:23 AM.
    Exit, pursued by a bear.

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