If your pears have roots, they aren't pears. If the roots are square, you are in the wrong dimension.
Where do hedgehogs go when there's no hedge?
If your pears have roots, they aren't pears. If the roots are square, you are in the wrong dimension.
Where do hedgehogs go when there's no hedge?
They go to Hedgehog Heaven through immolation in the sacrificial bonfires of November fifth.
Do chickens really want to cross roads, or are they forced to by precocious Boy Scouts?
They want to cross (because of telepathic messages they receive from "the other side").
Do snails dream of eating the French?
Last edited by Pompey Bum; 01-14-2015 at 08:58 AM.
Of course! Revenge is saccharine sweet!
Do you think Stonehenge could be an unfinished giant toilet?
Some of us laugh
Some of us cry
Some of us smoke
Some of us lie
But it's all just the way
that we cope with our lives...
No. Stonehenge is actually the track for a Neolithic elevated monorail train set, presented to the local chief's son on the occasion of his birthday.
Why is custard yellow?
Cowards often are
Why is ice cream cold?
Some of us laugh
Some of us cry
Some of us smoke
Some of us lie
But it's all just the way
that we cope with our lives...
Because, by the time you eat it, it's been dead for at least 48 hours.
Why do people eat popcorn when it tastes like polystyrene?
Hey, why do people wrap things in polystyrene when it looks like popcorn?
Do penguins count as seafood or poultry?
Neither. According to the medieval Catholic Church, they count as fish. Stupid, but true.
What are goats for?
Interesting. They're not kosher, which actually makes a weird kind of sense.Originally Posted by Hawkman
Nothing butt trouble.
Can you get mad cow disease from cannibalism?
Actually, this isn't true. I was thinking of puffins. My bad, but it's still a stupid answer, so I guess it counts.
Can you get mad cow disease from cannibalism? Yes. Especially if you're a mad cow.
What is the most effective way to arrest a fall?
Last edited by Hawkman; 02-03-2015 at 06:20 PM.
The FBI
What happens when your car runs out of gas near a Colma, California cemetery? (Look it up, you know you want to!)
Some of us laugh
Some of us cry
Some of us smoke
Some of us lie
But it's all just the way
that we cope with our lives...
You are forced to walk, at least until you are bitten by a zombie and forced to take up permanent residence.
Why is a woman shooting a man in the groin with a tazer deemed funny by the makers of an American TV series, when a man kicking a woman in the groin is not?
Because Americans lack that dry British sense of humor.
Who would you want to be chained next to on a Roman galley and why?
Somebody very strong so I can coast while he does the work!
Do you believe in ghosts?
Some of us laugh
Some of us cry
Some of us smoke
Some of us lie
But it's all just the way
that we cope with our lives...
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