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Thread: Litnet's version of Devil's dictionary

  1. #1261
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    Plutocracy: A term that became obsolete when Pluto lost its status as a planet, not that Pluto cared one way or the other. It is also used as an alternate definition of “democracy” among those rich enough to know what the word means.

    app:

  2. #1262
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    Wrong. It's rule by Mickey Mouse's dog.

    aap: The guys who invented Popeye

    Caesarian

  3. #1263
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    Caesarian: An alternate delivery method, like using FedEx when you don’t trust the postal service to do it right.

    Bread:

  4. #1264
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    Quote Originally Posted by YesNo View Post
    Caesarian: An alternate delivery method, like using FedEx when you don’t trust the postal service to do it right.
    Heh heh.

    Bread: As the Buddha observed, something that will not benefit you until you are through kneading it.

    Mustache

  5. #1265
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pompey Bum View Post
    Bread: As the Buddha observed, something that will not benefit you until you are through kneading it.
    That's a good one. My subconscious tells me to mention that AuntShecky gave it/her/him the idea for FedEx:

    Quote Originally Posted by AuntShecky View Post
    Best of all was the one about the babies. When mine were little and asked the ultimate awkward question -- "Where did I come from?" we told them they had been delivered by FedEx.
    Moustache: What happens when you forget to shave.

    Astrology:

  6. #1266
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    An excuse for losing.

    Dribble

  7. #1267
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    Dribble: When Dennis Rodman's nose runs.

    Fragrant

  8. #1268
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    Fragrant: A word for a smell. It is supposition that the word means "smelling good". Next time you ride the bus or subway with a wino, tell me that he is not "fragrant" of cheep booze

    Edible.
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  9. #1269
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    Edible: Something to put in your mouth that can be swallowed and digested which, if you think about it, is quite gross, but most of us enjoy doing it anyway.

    Producer:

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    Producer: Prior to the Industrial Revolution, an artisan. Afterwards, a fat guy in Beverley Hills.

    Aquarium

  11. #1271
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    Aquarium: A place to put tiny fish and watch them die.

    Consumer:

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    Quote Originally Posted by YesNo View Post
    Aquarium: A place to put tiny fish and watch them die.
    Heh heh. You've been hanging around with me too much.

    Consumer: Prior to the Industrial Revolution, the customer of a yeoman farmer. Afterwards, "Yo man! You got any?"

    Software
    Last edited by Pompey Bum; 02-02-2015 at 03:36 PM.

  13. #1273
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    Unfired porcelain.

    Prognosis

  14. #1274
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    Ah! I'm spending my 1000th post with you, Hawk!

    Prognosis: "Let me put it this way: don't start any long books."

    Caterwaul

  15. #1275
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    Caterwaul: A shrill, screeching noise that robots make when they want sex.

    French:

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