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Thread: Litnet's version of Devil's dictionary

  1. #1186
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Bank: An institution that uses your savings deposits to lend to shaky customers who have poor judgement, in hopes of a Government Bailout over such practices. Also an institution you have trusted with your money in checking and savings accounts and probably even have one of their credit cards but who don't know you when you try to cash a check or, God forbid, ask for a loan!

    Debt
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  2. #1187
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    Debt: A social contract in which freedom is exchanged for the means to education, the means to marry, the means to raise children, the means to drive to work (necessitated in the first place by debt), the means to provide you and your family with health insurance, the means to retirement, and the means to be buried. It's not at all like being shackled to an oar. Unless you default.

    Gorilla:
    Last edited by Pompey Bum; 01-17-2015 at 10:08 PM.

  3. #1188
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    Gorilla: According to Darwin, a hirsute silver-backed simian with a bad temper descended from a common ancestor with man

    Revenge:
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  4. #1189
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pendragon View Post
    Gorilla: According to Darwin, a hirsute silver-backed simian with a bad temper descended from a common ancestor with man
    But per Ellie Mae, "Jess a critter up t'the seement pond."

    Quote Originally Posted by Pendragon View Post
    Revenge:
    The act of casting sewage at an industrial fan for knocking your hat off; all the while muttering, "Oh boy! This is gonna be great!"

    Massage therapy
    Last edited by Pompey Bum; 01-19-2015 at 11:15 AM.

  5. #1190
    Registered User Calidore's Avatar
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    Massage therapy: As good a euphemism as any

    Euphemism
    You must be the change you wish to see in the world. -- Mahatma Gandhi

  6. #1191
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    Euphemism: Polite cussing, such as gosh-darn it all to heck! or what the frack do you think you're doing, jerk?

    Foul Language
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  7. #1192
    Registered User Calidore's Avatar
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    Foul language: Assorted clucks, quacks, and ****-a-doodle-does

    Mellifluous
    You must be the change you wish to see in the world. -- Mahatma Gandhi

  8. #1193
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    Mellifluous: An adjective associated with some bees and most birds in the presence of the right stinger.

    Monogamous
    Last edited by Pompey Bum; 01-21-2015 at 08:51 AM.

  9. #1194
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    Monogamous: Having enough sense to only have one spouse.

    Monotonous:
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  10. #1195
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    Monotonous: See monogamous.

    Tuition

  11. #1196
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    Tuition: Money used for collage which insures you start your career already in arrears...

    Ivy League:
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  12. #1197
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    Ivy League: What happens when you are too environmental to use weed killer.

    Cash Flow

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    1. An avalanche of money disappearing through the unstoppered plug holes in your bank account. Has been known to be fatal in some cases. 2. a barricade of frozen assets.

    Apoplexy

  14. #1199
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    Apoplexy: A quality of statesmanship on par with that of the great Julius Seizure.

    Mythic:

  15. #1200
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    Mythic: Considered imaginary by a group of people. For example the Ancient Greek and Roman Gods. For some, God in general.

    Liar:
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

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