View Poll Results: Is It?

Voters
6. You may not vote on this poll
  • good

    2 33.33%
  • great

    1 16.67%
  • sappy

    0 0%
  • suck

    0 0%
  • fair

    0 0%
  • can u hear it as a song?

    2 33.33%
  • should i keep my writings to myself

    0 0%
  • do women find this romantic?

    0 0%
  • or am i a loser

    0 0%
  • fries or tatter tots?

    1 16.67%
Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Comments , good or bad

  1. #1
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Posts
    12

    Comments , good or bad

    I DO WHAT I GOTTA’ DO (Intriguing isn’t it)


    I’m a sittin home
    Stairin’ at this phone
    But it wont ring, and I cant sing

    Such a sweet mess,
    That much I confess
    Where’s this going, What the hell am I doin’
    So I do,
    what I gotta’ do
    While I’m waitin, yea waitin’ on you

    Always in my head
    See you in my bed
    But your not there, I look up n I swear
    So I do,
    what I gotta’ do
    While I’m waitin’, yea waitin’ on you

    And I can’t take waiting on you…..
    But I do, what I gotta do, now baby
    I Cant stand the thought of losin’ you…….
    So I do, yea I do, what I gotta do
    (Lil’ break, lil’ solo)

    Such a sweet mess,
    That much I confess
    Where’s this going, What the hell am I doin’

    Waiting out my time
    Until you are mine
    (Think) I’m turning manic, (This) sh1t’s making me frantic
    So I do,
    what I gotta’ do
    While I’m waitin’, yea waitin’ on you

    And I can’t take waiting for you……..
    But I do, what I gotta do, now baby
    I can’t stand the thought of losin’ you……….
    So I do, yea I do what I gotta’ do
    Yea I can’t stand ever ever losin’ you….
    So I do…..
    Yeaaaa I do……(segway)

    Will you come with me darlin’
    Come with me to the sea
    I’ll take you there sweet baby
    The sea of love for you n’ me
    That’s where your heart is honey
    That’s where you’ll find my soul
    And in my arms you’ll stay cause,
    You’re the only thing that can make me hole……….

    And that’s why I do,
    yeaaaaaa…….. I do…
    What- I -gotta do……………….(whispered)


    I want all comments good or bad, want to know if i suck

  2. #2
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    California
    Posts
    210
    Super
    As I say I i'm only fourteen

  3. #3
    Ever Benevolent and Wise
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Posts
    953
    The intent is `sweet' but there's a lot of cliche's there man. I'm sure it could be catchy depending on the tune...

  4. #4
    I second den's comment of "cliche ridden". I don't like the rhyme scheme.

  5. #5
    smeghead
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    On a road to nowhere
    Posts
    1,920
    Some of the lyrics do lack a bit of inspiration. Maybe if you put it to really good music no-one would care..? Keep trying.
    Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
    (Mark Twain)

  6. #6
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Posts
    12
    thanks for your honest comments, i guess it sounds better when the music is in your head driving it.
    do do do, da da da, is all want to say to you
    sting

  7. #7
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    California
    Posts
    210
    Marvolus
    As I say I i'm only fourteen

  8. #8
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    California
    Posts
    210
    Originally posted by axl_32779
    thanks for your honest comments, i guess it sounds better when the music is in your head driving it.
    do do do, da da da, is all want to say to you
    sting

    Your Welcome

  9. #9
    lunatic zen philosopher Triskele's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    here, monistically present
    Posts
    317

    hmmm...

    heya,

    would like it but the exessive use of the words "baby" and "darlin"... its a great start though, and i like the imagery and progression...

    adios

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by axl_32779
    Last Activity: 12-21-2003 08:32 PM

    I think that we are a little too late.
    As Kingfishers catch fire, dragonflies draw flame . . .


    Why disqualify the rush? I'm tabled. I'm tabled.



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