Thank you!
Maybe not in this thread. I kind of want to keep this thread open to debate on literature.
I'll send you a private message soon.
Thank you!
Maybe not in this thread. I kind of want to keep this thread open to debate on literature.
I'll send you a private message soon.
"...the ramblings of a narcissistic, self-obsessed, deranged mind."
My poetry, plays, novels, & other stuff on Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=ntt_athr...or=Wolf Larsen
Wolf, for someone so against grammer and punctuation you sure are fond of exclamation marks
If You Can't Beat Them, Then Why Not Join Them?
An essay by Wolf Larsen
WARNING: PURITANICAL PERSONS WHO ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH ANYTHING SEXUAL MAY WISH TO CLICK OFF THIS THREAD RIGHT NOW! Thank you for your understanding.
I have often joked that the big publishing conglomerates are nothing more than big whorehouses, and that literary agents are really literary pimps. But then what does that make many writers?
Well, that depends what you're writing, no? Hey, if some big publishing corporation offered me a big advance to write an airport novel, I'd whore myself out to them. (Wouldn't you know it but the voice recognition software I use doesn't wanna write whore or flock. I have to take extra time to spell it out.)
So, since the revolution isn't exactly going to happen tomorrow morning we starving writers have to make a living somehow under this capitalist system. And, looking to the five whorehouses for inspiration, I mean the five sisters, or the five publishing conglomerates for inspiration – I'm thinking why shouldn't we writers open a whorehouse of our own? That way, we could compete with the five publishing conglomerates on equal terms.
Now when I say whorehouse I mean that in every sense of the word. And I Wolf Larsen will be happy to represent you all as your literary pimp. Just think how hard it is these days to get a literary pimp – also known as literary agent – so I'm sure many of you will be thankful to me for pimping you out. (Guess what? This voice recognition software doesn't wanna say pimp either. What Puritans!)
Now going back to this whorehouse of ours. This could be a very profitable business venture! Especially for me, your literary pimp, because I'm going to collect 15% of all proceeds. Now what I was thinking is that attractive members of the writing community could be engaged in certain types of business activities in our publishing whorehouse. Less attractive members of our writing community could also be engaged in similar business activities, but behind a wall with a hole in it. Others could be involved in cleanup and sanitation activities. Still others in security. And still others in serving drinks and whatnot.
This very profitable venture could finance our publishing activities. Now of course, some books will be more profitable than others. And of course, as your literary pimp I will take 15% from this end of the business as well. However, in this manner everyone can be respectably published from a traditional publisher. The establishment of our publishing whorehouse conglomeratcy would also have the benefit of reestablishing the number six – as in the six sisters or the six publishing whorehouses.
What would we do with the profits? Well here I would also take 15%. Because I'm your literary pimp. However, some of the profits could be shared amongst the prostitute-writers. Another part of the profits could be used to promote books, and others to promote our publishing whorehouse conglomeratcy.
I think that we should give our publishing whorehouse venture some kind of respectable Anglo-Saxon name, just like the other five publishing whorehouses. Or we could simply call it the Wolf Larsen Literary Pimping Agency and the Writers Publishing Cooperative Whorehouse.
The Wolf Larsen Literary Pimping Agency is now taking submissions from aspiring prostitute-writers.
Last edited by WolfLarsen; 07-16-2014 at 01:06 PM.
"...the ramblings of a narcissistic, self-obsessed, deranged mind."
My poetry, plays, novels, & other stuff on Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=ntt_athr...or=Wolf Larsen
Wolf, here's a poem I've written about you
He who
Inperceptively; tendentiously, esteems that
rhymes
Denies the time indubitably of a cat
that
Rolls around and stares at limes
Yes
And so it is thus
Up
We go and die
A
Life Undone; -
So,
Die,
Wolf
Last edited by Oedipus; 07-26-2014 at 03:24 AM.
"Family duty required them to swallow their disgust and put up with him, simply put up with him'
Perhaps we just have something called 'taste' and don't think that a pointless stream of angry vulgarities amounts to anything more than the cr@p you can read on any toilet door. Actually a toilet door is a good place for it, better still on the piece of toilet paper you will then use and flush.Some people whine about "obscenity". Perhaps these are the same kinds of people that helped get endless works of literature censored and banned in the recent past. Perhaps Puritanism and the obstruction of our natural sex drives is one of the leading causes of so-called "writers block". You block out everything that others may have an objection to – even your own so-called "morality" is perhaps blocking you from writing the great literature you're destined to write! Don't expect to write great literature if you're all repressed! You don't think there's a connection between being repressed and "writers block"? Just write what comes into your head! To hell with what everybody else thinks! I'll tell you one thing: literature is not served by censorship, whether that censorship is from others or from yourself. Stop practicing self-censorship!
Any illiterate dickhead can ignore the rules of grammar and string together a bunch of words in any meaningless fashion. Calling it 'avant garde' does not make it worth it anything though.
May I remind you (in case you forgot that there is also a thing called a dictionary in your effort to be free of all convention)
VULGAR
1. lacking sophistication or good taste.
"a vulgar check suit"
synonyms: tasteless, gross, crass, unrefined, tawdry, ostentatious, flamboyant, over-elaborate, overdone, showy, flashy, gaudy, garish, brassy, kitsch, tinselly, flaunting, glaring, brash, loud, harsh; flash, tacky, over the top, OTT, glitzy, impolite, ill-mannered, unmannerly, indecorous, unseemly, ill-bred, boorish, low, low-minded, gross, uncouth, crude, rough; uncultured, uncultivated, unsophisticated, unrefined; illiterate, uneducated, philistine; common, ordinary, low-born, plebeian; malyobbish, loutish, plebby, ignorant.
2. making explicit and offensive reference to sex or bodily functions; coarse and rude.
"a vulgar joke"
VULGARITY
the state or quality of being vulgar.
synonyms: tastelessness, bad taste, grossness, crassness, lack of refinement, tawdriness, flamboyance, flamboyancy, ostentation, excess, gaudiness, garishness, showiness, flashiness, brassiness, tinsel, kitsch, loudness, harshness; tackiness, impoliteness, ill manners, bad manners, impropriety, grossness, indecorousness, uncouthness, crudeness, coarseness, roughness; commonness, lowness, unsophisticatedness, lack of refinement, lack of sophistication;ignorance.
In other words entirely lacking in any originality or skill.
Last edited by Pumpkin337; 07-26-2014 at 05:20 AM.