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Thread: Lymerick

  1. #241
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    Attack

    While Billy was bombing out back,
    His wife screamed, "We're under attack!"
    "That was me, sweetie-pie.
    No, you ain't gonna die,
    Unless I catch you messin with Jack."

    (Jack's real name was Mahmoud, but Billy couldn't pronounce it.)

  2. #242
    running amok Sancho's Avatar
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    Uhhh...Hmmm

    Oh baby, you know you's my one and only
    The love of my life, my li'l roly-poly
    Jack can go pound sand
    I'm you're jelly-roll man
    So c'mere, baby, let's do something unholy
    Uhhhh...

  3. #243
    Maybe YesNo's Avatar
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    Roly Poly

    Though some claim that the world is flat,
    I have second thoughts about that,
    Since my sweetie is round,
    From her head to the ground.
    It's more likely my world is fat.

  4. #244
    running amok Sancho's Avatar
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    A Limerick for the Ladies

    Long tall Sally or short fat Fanny
    Home town Annie or a Pakistani
    They can enthrall
    I love 'em all
    'Cept maybe that not-quite-right tranny
    Uhhhh...

  5. #245
    Clinging to Douvres rocks Gilliatt Gurgle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YesNo View Post
    Though some claim that the world is flat,
    ...
    Sorry, no lyimerick,
    just feeling a bit systemic
    from th eMkars Mark
    that sparked a spark
    recalling a ditty;
    a Bob Wills witty...
    this is for Yes/No:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhB-P820HP0
    Last edited by Gilliatt Gurgle; 04-18-2014 at 09:59 PM. Reason: forgot the "y" in lymric
    "Mongo only pawn in game of life" - Mongo

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKRma7PDW10

  6. #246
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    Bases Loaded, But Do You Really Want a Home Run?

    From a distance, the tranny's OK,
    But up close something gives her away.
    After touching first base,
    Grasping second, the race
    Down to third just might ruin your day.

    (That Bob Wills song makes me want to stick to my diet.)

  7. #247
    running amok Sancho's Avatar
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    Trannies need loving too

    There was a young guy from Papua New Guinea
    Piled his hair up high but his legs were too skinny
    He dressed up fancy
    They called him Nancy
    Truth be told, he had an outie but wanted an innie
    Uhhhh...

  8. #248
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    Having Ticked Everyone Off, I'm Glad I'm Not a Politician

    Now the trannies are hopping with hate
    And those challenged with slightly more weight
    Than they need to squeeze by
    Are all telling me, "Die!"
    "Just lay low." "They'll forget." "It's too late."

  9. #249
    running amok Sancho's Avatar
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    He better find somebody to love*

    *Grace Slick was a huge supporter of free love

    Our man wanted to find somebody to love
    Our man needed to find somebody to love
    Biology was against him
    His prospects looked grim
    But he was unconcerned if parts fit hand in glove



    Hey, this being Easter, and in keeping with our theme of love and understanding, we oughta do a resurrection-day limerick. Whatever else he was, or whatever else people have tried to make him into between then and now, Jesus seems to have been a really good guy. And Jesus, like Grace Slick, loved everybody. Also, in every picture I've ever seen of him, he was wearing a dress.
    Uhhhh...

  10. #250
    Registered User Emil Miller's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sancho View Post
    Hey, this being Easter, and in keeping with our theme of love and understanding, we oughta do a resurrection-day limerick. Whatever else he was, or whatever else people have tried to make him into between then and now, Jesus seems to have been a really good guy.
    Agreed.

    They body of Jesus, they say
    In a rock-covered cave they did lay
    But they got quite a shock
    When removing the rock
    For he hasn't been seen to this day
    "L'art de la statistique est de tirer des conclusions erronèes a partir de chiffres exacts." Napoléon Bonaparte.

    "Je crois que beaucoup de gens sont dans cet état d’esprit: au fond, ils ne sentent pas concernés par l’Histoire. Mais pourtant, de temps à autre, l’Histoire pose sa main sur eux." Michel Houellebecq.

  11. #251
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    Happy Easter

    On Easter He rose from the dead
    Fulfilling what old prophets said.
    Although Dawkins might doubt,
    There is no need to pout.
    Be happy, not fearful, instead.

  12. #252
    running amok Sancho's Avatar
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    He cut a wide swath

    There once was a fellow from Galilee
    Who promoted a unique philosophy
    He said it's not weak
    To turn the other cheek
    And turning water to wine was his propensity
    Uhhhh...

  13. #253
    running amok Sancho's Avatar
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    I'm willing to bet good money that we were the only site on the entire web that was writing Jesus limericks yesterday.
    Uhhhh...

  14. #254
    Registered User Emil Miller's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sancho View Post
    I'm willing to bet good money that we were the only site on the entire web that was writing Jesus limericks yesterday.
    As Easter is still with us, I think another one would be appropriate.

    Could there ever be anything slicker
    Than a silver-tongued Anglican vicar
    Or something as funny
    As an egg-laying bunny
    Or a 'Jesus Loves You' bumper sticker?

    http://imgur.com/E0VRPyb
    Last edited by Emil Miller; 04-21-2014 at 05:24 PM.
    "L'art de la statistique est de tirer des conclusions erronèes a partir de chiffres exacts." Napoléon Bonaparte.

    "Je crois que beaucoup de gens sont dans cet état d’esprit: au fond, ils ne sentent pas concernés par l’Histoire. Mais pourtant, de temps à autre, l’Histoire pose sa main sur eux." Michel Houellebecq.

  15. #255
    running amok Sancho's Avatar
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    O i c u 8 1 2

    Nice one, Emil.
    Okay, so, back to sillier pursuits:


    There once was a man who thought tweeting was GR8
    For the English language though what is the fate?
    2B or not 2B?
    He said OMG!
    BTW with 140 characters it limits what you CRE8


    (I wanted to try one in text language. I think I got the character-count right)
    Uhhhh...

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