Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

[prendrelemick]

Hang on a minute. Venessa Mae is doing the skiing round poles event. What next Yehudi Menuin doing the ski jump?

[Sancho]

... What top though? What about a tuxedo style t-shirt with a dicky-bow print so that we look like sporty bouncers? That would suit us Mick.

Perfect.

As for head gear, I think we should go hatless. In fact, the disposition of our middle-aged noggins could be a competition in and of itself: a medal to the man with nary a hair on his head, or a particularly thin fringe, or the effective use of a single sideburn as a comb-over, or a bad dye job, or maybe for the bloke who can no longer grow a single hair on his pate but seems to have made up for it with the ability to grow great tufts of the stuff out of his ear canals.

We're gonna need an anthem when we enter the stadium. The tune that leaps to mind is: We Are The Champions, by Queen

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...I'm not sure what our uniform ought to be, but I'm fairly certain it will include plaid Bermuda shorts, black socks, and leather shoes.

Not bad, but I would suggest that ensemble is better suited for the summer Olympics, synchronized lawn mowing event or possibly the Texas discus toss (dried cow patties)

I'm going to introduce kneesy, earsy, nosey to the office. I'll let you know how they get on. I'll probably need a bit of practice over this week before I do though. ....

I made a few attempts just before logging on, nothing earsy about it! My finger * * * * over my jolly * * *.

[The Atheist]

Face down in mud of an organic origin. My encouraging cries of "get up and shut the gate
for heavens sake" did not go down well.

I hope you didn't laugh!

The tune that leaps to mind is: We Are The Champions, by Queen

Oh yeah, that'll have them chortling when they see the size of the ****s over the ***s!

I think it's high time the Winter Olympics embraced ice fishing.

It could be run as a biathlon event. Instead of skiing and shooting, we'd have largest fish and fastest downing of a hip-flask of scotch after nightfall.

[prendrelemick]

.........

[prendrelemick]

Lawn mowing the piste! Sign me up for that! At least it's not as daft as curling. That's the trouble with the winter Olympics all the events happen in cold and slippery conditions. Why they don't,t move them to the summer, I don't know.

[Sancho]

Bah-Hahahaha...HAH!

This thread cracks me up every time I come over here.

The lawn-mowing competition is spot-on.

Now I'm picturing a bloke, wearing a beige jumpsuit with an embroidered crest on the the chest pocket and a built-in stretchy belt, pushing an electric lawn mower, shaking his fist at a kid on a bicycle.

"GET OFF MY LAWN"

[prendrelemick]

You may have just come up with the games' logo there sancho

[Paulclem]

I just can't get excited about curling or "frozen bowls". Nor can I raise any enthusiasm for skating despite the ladies costumes. The ladies costumes are negatively balanced by the men's costumes, and they seem to be as old as my daughter.

The skiing and skateboarding on snow is much more fun.

Just a thought. We could sport our short haired pates or we could get a "hairstyle tattoo". The advantage being tbe intial choice is a 2d haircut of dreams which does however have some disadvantages.

[The Atheist]

We could sport our short haired pates or we could get a "hairstyle tattoo".

Retro punk skinhead should suit everyone.

How can it be the Real Blokes' Winter Olympics without mentioning snow-writing?

Surely that is the blue riband of the Games?

I propose a handicap event, with competitors with hyperprostatism being given a 3 point head start.

Extra bonuses for distance of writing from the writer, clarity of the writing, total number of letters, and extra points for difficulty for things like no hands. A second round will be the artistic freestyle session.

[prendrelemick]

And no dribbling!

As to the figure skating,I was quite taken with the Russian girl Sotnikova who was wearing a small red dishcloth in the short program. I can imagine her father saying "You're not wearing that!"

[The Atheist]

Some of the holds are somewhat intriguing as well. I can see why partners are often very good friends.

Dribbling? Certainly not. Any mark outside the target area will be a points deduction.

[Sancho]

Hell yeah! Lemme grab a six pack, and then sign me up for the snow-writing event. I'll be competing in the Big, BOLD, Swinging-Richard, Block-Letter division.

Hey, maybe we should have a braggart's competition too.

[The Atheist]

Maybe a deduction if your game doesn't meet your talk?

[Sancho]

Well, the first time I showed up for a group ride wearing a pair of those Spandex cycling shorts, the guys in my bicycling club started calling me, The Acorn. I'm not sure why.