^the previous one (#615) is pretty funny, YesNo. But maybe Billy isn't the committed atheist as he thought he was. Otherwise the first word out of his mouth wouldn't've been "God!"
^the previous one (#615) is pretty funny, YesNo. But maybe Billy isn't the committed atheist as he thought he was. Otherwise the first word out of his mouth wouldn't've been "God!"
Thanks, AuntShecky! I almost didn't have him say "God!", but then I had an extra word by my count (which might not be an accurate count). So I figured I'd use it to portray Billy's rationality.
My blog: https://frankhubeny.blog/
"om aym sarasvatiey nameh"
"Stop it."
"I'm chanting. You should try it. It will help with your borderline personality disorder."
"I'm not borderline."
"Denial."
"You're too loud."
"om aym..."
"I'M!! NOT!! BORDERLINE!!"
"Hmmm."
"I'm antisocial. The last thing your shrink said was he should have locked me up long ago."
Last edited by YesNo; 12-13-2013 at 07:35 PM.
My blog: https://frankhubeny.blog/
It's Saturday morning. Sebastian knocks on his son's bedroom door.
"Jimmy, are you up yet?"
"No. What do you want?"
"I just read something you might find interesting."
"Tell me later."
"It's important."
"What is it?"
"I just read that kids who get more sleep perform better in school."
My blog: https://frankhubeny.blog/
Recipe for a Broken Heart
Heat 1tsp cumin in a saucepan.
This gets bitter if left too long.
Dash in extra virgin olive oil for betrayed innocence.
Toss in an onion, carelessly diced, when things get heated.
Add garlic, bruised or totally crushed.
Sprinkle in 1tsp fresh thyme, so much wasted.
Carefully chop 1lb freshly picked mushrooms and add with the stock.
Simmer for a while then serve cold with soured cream and a pinch of rue (optional).
Any mushrooms will do. I used death-caps.
.net
If anybody needs me I'll be in the garden
Cynthia has six Christmas cards to send. She sends the same ones every year from boxes she bought years ago.
Every year she delays. Now, where are those stamps? Where is her pen?
To relieve her worries, this year her nurse tells her she sent them out for her.
Last edited by YesNo; 12-15-2013 at 10:26 AM.
Howard knows the abuse he would get if he flunked another course. He raises his hand.
"Yes?"
"Can you do problem 16?"
Professor Roketsienski looks at the problem, "Yes. I can do it. Any other questions?"
Last edited by YesNo; 12-15-2013 at 04:41 PM.
"Will you do it?"Originally Posted by YesNo
"No. Will you?"
Yes, the student did phrase the question incorrectly.
However, your version is not bad and I think it could fit in a separate parallel universe (not that such things actually exist).
Howard knows the abuse he would get if he flunked another course. He raises his hand.
"Yes?"
"Can you do problem 16?"
Professor Roketsienski looks at the problem, visibly perplexed, "That's a good problem. You need to work on it harder. Are there any other questions?"
Last edited by YesNo; 12-15-2013 at 05:13 PM.
Howard knows the abuse he would get if he flunked another course. He raises his hand.
"Yes?"
"Can you do problem 16?"
Professor Roketsienski looks at the problem, scribbles on the board, erases, scribbles, repeats, then finally steps back, "There!...No!...Something's wrong....Do you see?"
The bell rings.
Howard knows the abuse he would get if he flunked another course. He raises his hand.
"Yes?"
"Can you do problem 16?"
Professor Roketsienski looks at the problem, "Any monkey do dis. Take function...sum it, uh, affer square it...den roof it...plug-n-chug it...observation answer."
Last edited by YesNo; 12-15-2013 at 09:37 PM.
Dog's Life
“Leave it Charlie.” The man called from his back door.
The small dog kept digging, pulling at something buried in the garden.
“LEAVE IT” He shouted angrily “COME HERE.”
The dog reluctantly obeyed leaving something white sticking out of the long grass.
The man sighed and, shutting the dog inside, took a spade to where the dog had been.
It was a femur this time.
“Well you wanted the dog, you b**ch, so don’t blame me.” He said to the bone.
If anybody needs me I'll be in the garden
I checked out 81words, adaminspace. It is an interesting site. I almost submitted some of my posts there that I put in this thread, but then I realized those stories had to be exactly 81 words in length. Most of mine are under 50 words.
That was a nice, dark story about the dog digging up those bones.
I borrowed this from my entry in one of those "2 sentence horror story" contests.
The day my brother disappeared, they told me he was dead, and he was never, ever coming back.
I really wish they were right.
a dead account
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