The Comedy/Satire/Pun Poem Contest

[Pendragon]

If music be the food of love
Starvation hovers thin and proud
Plate on, give me a mess of it
It tickles not the palate
Nor satisfies the crippling hunger

If music be the tune of love
Why do I hear only discord?
Play on, give me the finesse of it
It is a song sung by tone-deaf singers
Totally out of rhythm and two octaves off key

If music be the Muse of Love
She is a heartless, stone cold witch
Hate on, leave me to guess at it
Shall I bring wine and roses?
Shall I just kill myself?

If music be the ruse of love
Catch a fool now in his folly
Straight on, you'll obsess on it
No fool greater than an old fool
Hold your tongue fool, be wise...

Pendragon
(C) 8/16/2013

[YesNo]

If music be the food of love,
Excess means there'll be more of it.
Two hearts will write the score for it
And not consume each other when
The music has to pause a bit
To get some air. They're waiting there
Filled to excess, without a care,
To resonates above somewhere.

[prendrelemick]

If Music is the Food


Madrigals sung in June,
Are strawberries and cream,
Jazz is just a piece of cake,
And punk's a plate of beans,
Classical’s a slice of toast,
Vivaldi is the jam,
Rock and Roll's a hamburger,
And Country is glazed ham.
But love has its own melodies
Of passion and romances,
It feeds on touch and smiles and hope,
And surreptitious glances.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

the next line is:

“if music be the food of love, play on,
give me excess of it''
...

Cafeteria of Love

If music be the food of love, play on,
give me excess of it',
show me diets buffet, for my gut it doth growl!
Let us begin the tour of fads de jour…
South Beach bored me like Mel Torme
The Atkins sounds bland; The Little River Band
Jenny Craig is too soft; do I hear Seals and Croft?
Vegan made me limp, a rusty Lettuce wimp
Ahh, here comes Paleo, now I’m a gigolo,
throwing down red meat to a grass fed beat.
Carnivorous desire my love burns like a pyre.

Our passions fueled on Swedish meatballs
and pan seared music of Neanderthals…. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgHM98rfE28

[Melanie]

Smoochee Music

If music be the food of love
For an unchained melody*
Where time goes by so slowly
As I hunger for your touch
Then play on, play on, in excess
Filling emptiness with love
Replacing loss and loneliness
For love will keep us alive*.

If music be the food of love
On sleepless nights by candlelight
Silence of darkness all around
Amid the falling snow*
Then play on, play on, in excess
Play fever* to heat up the night
Fever with kisses that sizzle
What a lovely way to burn.

*Unchained Melody: The Righteous Brothers - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzunoD3VHdk
*Love Will Keep Us Alive: The Eagles - http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2q...us-alive_music
*Amid The Falling Snow: Enya - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wacyMhxIOd0
*Fever: Elvis - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmyhIwZG_-M
&Fever: Rose McGowan - http://www.last.fm/music/Rose+McGowa...+From+Charmed)

[cacian]

OK here are the results everyone:
Pendragon: I enjoyed the questioned lines in this piece. it makes reading it very interesting and offers different prospective on this topic.
fave lines:
''If music be the tune of love
Why do I hear only discord?''
YesNo: your piece made laugh I liked the humour in it and the simplicity of its wording. it was almost comical clever
prendrelemick: I enjoyed this piece a lot. I liked the allegories on food and places. it was pretty cool. my fave lines are:
''But love has its own melodies
Of passion and romances,
It feeds on touch and smiles and hope,
And surreptitious glances''
Gilliatt: and what a journey your piece has offered. great pace and fun almost accumulating language. I liked it. and I agree Swedish meatballs and seared music makes for a magical combo haha
Melanie: a sweet and sour piece if I may say so. melodic but bordering on sadness. a well written piece. I enjoyed it.

but sadly there can only be ONE winner and that goes to prendrelemick, I simply could not resist the richness of your piece

[prendrelemick]

Thank you very much Cacian. I wasn't expecting that.


As this is the comedy/pun thread here is a catch phrase of a famous (now dead) British comedian.


Shut that door.




(It's funny honestly - you had to be there. )

[Melanie]

(That was a clever and enjoyable poem, prendrelemick!)

Knock Knock

unlatch
open
close
door swings
hinges creak

in
slam
out
slam
shoes that squeak

cat
in
dog
out
thud, thump, thwack

let's
settle
this
score
shut that door!

[YesNo]

Silence, sleeping, secrets keeping,
Noise goes through the floor.
Bedsprings bounce and kids announce,
"At least they shut the door."

[Pendragon]

My mama yelled so many times
"Hey! Y'all shut that door!"
She always had laryngitis...

[cacian]

shut that door
will you
and store behind
the minutes of your core
you made a sore
about afore
it now it seems
you have no more
be done with roar
and close that door
once and for ore.

[prendrelemick]

I think it's time


The winner is MELANIE, for that slice of real life.

[cacian]

Melanie congratulations!!

[Melanie]

Thank you!! I had fun with it. I'll post a quote for everyone tomorrow.

[Melanie]

Okay, there are many variations of this but I think Aristotle was the first.
one says "without a mixture of madness",
another says "without some touch of madness",
and another says "without a tincture of madness"

Use as is or change out words or turn it inside-out upside-down or whatever suits your fancy.
Here it is:

"There is no great genius without madness"