Subject Poetry Contest.

[YesNo]

With scent of myrtle, mysteries
Are offered to the light,
And when she's clothed, her lover sees
How beautiful is white.
The rose blooms red to test her lips
That touched his own and so
The rounded softness of her hips
Won't let his eyes let go.
The forest where they made their bed
One April by a stream
Flows through their days, through wedded ways,
Well-fed upon a dream.

[Dark Muse]

Dionaea muscipula

She possesses a strange
alien beauty
not appreciated by every eye,
and yet she is indifferent
to disapproving looks
for her own tastes
are of the highly acquired kind,
sweetly she tempts admirers
most would find revolting,
lures them in with promises,
and succulent little offerings,
they never see it coming,
but once she knows she has them snared,
she snaps her jaws tight,
and hungrily devours,
those that so gullibly came to her calling,
and so callous her heart
she takes no time to mourn
nor regret, for her hunger
is most insatiable,
and all too soon they are forgotten
while she lays out her traps
for the next to bestow
their misbegotten
affection.

[Melanie]

Ode to The Venus of Willendorf

O for to pity thou Venus of Willendorf
Awakened from thy sediment slumber
From the Danube riverbanks to the north
Far from the stares of paleolithic hunters.
Thy curvaceous form turned statued goddess,
Goddess of Fertility and Fatness?
The earliest form of woman's worth undermined
Thus a naked truthness:
No face chiseled on thy bowed and covered head!
Minimizing the most sensual organ:—the mind

[tailor STATELY]

A Golden Sierra Walk One August Night

Alone with my thoughts I walk briskly towards the West;
its horizon before me this leg of the path of the oval track
In sight, Venus' bright beam punctuates the sky above
a thin waxing crescent Moon low in the darkening sky
One can see earthshine - reflected sunlight from the Earth
faintly illuminating the Moon where it does not shine this ev'n
Diana's moon ! Her bow, I recall - befitting the huntress
Is she on the hunt tonight seeking quarry? I solemnly reflect
My muse sings to me, closing with a familiar wailing lament
that wrenches my spirit; reminding me of my own madness
It's said Venus shines brightest to those whose hearts are
aglow with the greater light of love: Love, where is thy sting ?
Around I go upon the oval, now facing East, where flitting
bats wheel in the darkness before me; the oak trees closing in

*8/13/2013

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[prendrelemick]

^Haha, I'm always tweaking my stuff too. A poem is never finished.


Some very high quality posy here. Shall we say another 10 days for further entries? that's on or around the 25th of August.

[tailor STATELY]

I'm game. (lol)

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[prendrelemick]

Last chance bump.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Sorry for the last minute. If you've already assembled your comments, then we'll chock this one up to time killer while the judges convene.

The Right to Bear Arms

Gilliatt, If only I had arms to hold you
Oh Venus my love let us depart de Milo,
set sail for the land of the free,
where it’ll take only a 2nd to amend
what Alexandros did intend for thee.

Remington the sculptor will fit you with arms.
You’ll hold me tight, we’ll teach to write,
(aside) Do you think she’ll use her left or her right?
how to snap a bra and cover those perky charms.

[cacian]

Bump!!

[prendrelemick]

Cacian – Unique. I loved the word you made up on another thread “runk”– a cross between “rung” and “rank” but reen and feen?

Pen – The - find an angle and run with it - school of poetry. As usual, done well. I always like the way you think, and the progression from one idea to the next. Also brownie points for the classical allusions

Dark muse - Same idea but remains focused on the plant. I liked the extreme Pathetic Fallacy and the cold pitch of the language used. You write with a confidence that shows in your stuff.

Melanie.- Not only do you think of something unusual, you then take it in such an interesting direction. and very cleverly done - the question mark, the choice of adjectives – bowed and barren, that echo and bounce up and down the poem, that last line, There's much more to this than appears on screen, the other half is written in the readers head.

TailorSTATELY – Lots of imagery, lots of poetic description, an allegorical story and once more effortless progression of thought – within the narrative this time – everything you want from a poem. You create a melancholic mood and then prick it with spikes of turmoil. I kept wondering – does the character know/think/hope that Venus will appear in the East by morning?

YesNo - For me the clear winner. A beautiful poem about beauty. No need to analyse. Kudos for the myrtle and roses reference.

GG. One day I'll understand every obscure reference you bring along. I think I got about half of them here. Made me laugh though – you and Venus de Milo eh ?


Congratulations Yesno

[Melanie]

Congrats YesNo! Very lovely. It's a keeper.
prendrelemick, the VENUS subject was so versatile and fun!
And thank you for the critique. You're right about "barren of". I think "minimizing" would have been better and will edit that. But "bowed" means "head bent down out of submission, shame, respect, or greeting"...so since "submission" is what I was going for, I think I'll leave that one. Thanks for taking the time to help.

[YesNo]

Thanks, prendrelemick! And Melanie!

The next subject is

Diana

This could be either the Goddess or the Princess.


Deadline: September 16, about 3 weeks.

[prendrelemick]

Melanie.

Hang on a minute. I meant I liked "barren" In fact it was almost the key to my understanding of your intention (so I thought) because of the irony it carried in describing a"Goddess of fertility", which emphasised the irony of her being naked but for her face, which is something I hadn't considered before. But that's just me.

[tailor STATELY]

Congratulations YesNo!; and thank you prendrelemick.

This was a fun subject. On to the next.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[Melanie]

Hang on a minute. I meant I liked "barren"

oh, well, back to the drawing board