Another drink
Another thought forgotten
*********
Eyes open the world rushes in.
Blink!...Myriad emotions
To much, Atlas, close them.
Still an incubus.
*********
Fetid flesh, constant now.
No relief.
Temporary fix. Fingers,
reminiscent of yesterday.
*********
Cacophonies abundant.
Quotidian life,
of joys and tumult.
Elbows don't fit.
********
Fecund world for
the vacuous.
Pernicious silk,
assuaged from emery.
Smashing. I like the use of words. xD
More problems, More poetry.
I think is fabulous, and I wish I had written the opening lines!
ihrocks
The revolution is just a T-shirt away -- Billy Bragg
Thank you all.
Pretty good, I enjoyed it, this is a different format than i am used to, but it is worth exploring, thank you for showing me something new.
---------------
Stanislaw Lem
1921 - 2006, Rest In Peace.
"Faith is, at one and the same time, absolutely necessary and altogether impossible"
Can't see piont
As I say I i'm only fourteen
Perhaps if you used a dictionary, it would become lucid.
tsh, how long did it take to write? smashing btw
More problems, More poetry.
Thanks. Not long.
I love the lines 'Fecund world for the vacuous.' and 'quotidian life, of joys and tumult' The words pernicious silk go together very well, but I don't quite get what you mean in the very last line.(?)
'Still an incubus'- I hope that's a metaphor.
Oh, but I loved it, btw.
Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
(Mark Twain)
Too many periods, chap. Makes. The thing. Too. Abrupt.
Do you see my point?
Try using the semi-colon instead; a poem need flow just sa it needs form.
speaking of periods and semicolons, i've found that capitalized words at the beginning of phrases/sentences can pretty much replace them when used in an all lower-case poem (handle with care)
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