Desire

[NickBrown]

I have to change you;

I have to turn the cheap lead caked in your eyes
and wrinkles
into gold;

I have to break you down in my heart’s lusty crucible,
using a mortar of love and care and tenderness and selfishness;

I have to transmogrify your being
before you can mine.

[NickBrown]

I had some other ideas for titles, so the one I chose will probably change. Please let me know what you guys think.

[virtuoso]

I can partially get the "lead under your eye" connotation. The eye shadow could be interpreted as eye paints, and some paints contain lead. I cannot understand the "lead in your veins" connotation. If you want something that is thick and red like blood, then use mercury. It has density and toxicity. "Mixing a mortar of: love, care, and tenderness" would sound better. I do not think that hatred belongs in the mix. How can you merge tender and hateful feelings together. Even a magician could not do that. A strange, paradoxical ending. You have the power to change anybody, and you put yourself second in line for a makeover. I think that this poem has promise. Re-do some of the words, lines, and you can make your point in a salient manner!

[NickBrown]

Shoot, I must have uploaded the unedited version. Thanks for the save.