Freedom 21

[Cliche]

Chapter I: The Launch

"The sounds of the rockets were deafening, but the thought that these were taking us to the far beyond, was clear as day. It was so clear, that I felt like it wasn't real. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that my group of highly trained astronauts and I were going to be the first humans on Mars. Ever since the discovery of water only three hundred feet below the surface in 2021, it has been a race to see which country would launch first. It is June 3, 2024, and my crew and I are on our way to make history. This is Brian Smith, entry log number one." We were forced to keep regular logs as a way to keep our mind at rest. I didn't find it too helpful, but you do what the president tells you to, or they will send you back to earth with the push of a button.

"Hey, Klutz," Chewie called me from his bunk, "you almost done on that thing? You have been talking to it for hours."

"Sorry for wanting my first entry log to be meaningful." I said jokingly.

"Haha. You really think that Houston gives a **** about it being meaningful? They just hope you aren't thinking about blowing our brains out halfway through the trip."

"Six months in a container with you? Now why would that drive me insane?"

"Hey watch it Klutz, you might be captain, but I have been able to kick your *** since the second grade." We both laughed, but we knew that being in this small container for so long, truly could drive one of us insane, and we knew what we had to do if it came to that. I am just hoping that it doesn't come down to it.

"You boys done messing around in here? We actually have some serious work to attend to, Houston wanted us to contact them as soon as we dropped our initial fuel canisters." Judy said as she floated into our room.

"Oh, we were just joking around. I will call the president on the M.P.C.D." I responded. She floated out of the room with the face of a mother that picked up her kids from daycare.

I decided not to fight with her, so I floated up to the third level, also known as the control room. It held the Multi Planet Communication Device, used to contact the president, who for his safety was stationed on a newly sprouting outpost called Destiny on the the moon. I booted it up and filed through the contacts which consisted of family members, the government space station in Houston, and of course, Destiny. I clicked on Destiny and almost immediately the president was displayed on a 40" screen on the wall.

"Good job Captain. You making this call, I assume that you are on your way here?" The President asked.

"Yes Mr. President. We will be landing on the Moon in about eight hours in order to refuel, and wait for mars to be in it's prime location."

"Good to hear. Well, have safe travels, I will see you when you arrive here at Destiny." Then with the push of a button, we were alone again, drifting like what seemed to be aimlessly in space. It was an eerie feeling. Although I knew we were on our way to a specific location, the pitch black sky, and shimmering christmas lights in the sky, seemed like something straight out of a dream.

We were heading for destiny.

[AuntShecky]

Counting clichés (still in effect, circa 2024):
1.The sounds of the rockets were deafening
2.to the far beyond
3.clear as day.
4. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact
5. group of highly trained astronauts
6. the first humans on Mars.
7. on our way to make history.
8. with the push of a button.
(That s just in the first paragraph.)

I said jokingly. [Tom Swiftie.]

9." blowing our brains out"
10. since the second grade."
11.we knew what we had to do if it came to that.
12.I am just hoping that it doesn't come down to it.

Judy said as she floated into our room.

She floated out of the room

so I floated up to the third level,

An inordinate amount of floating. Either it's the weightlessness from the absence of gravity or the entire crew's been taking Sudafed.

also known as the control room. Of course.
13."Good job Captain.
14. it's prime location." [It's the wrong "its," though.]
15. with the push of a button [So nice, we say it twice. Cf. Cliché #8]
16.we were alone again [Lucky you.]
17. drifting like what seemed to be
18. aimlessly in space.
19.It was an eerie feeling. [No doubt.]
20. the pitch black sky,
21. shimmering christmas lights in the sky,
22.something straight out of a dream.
23.We were heading for destiny. You betcha.


Did I miss any?

[Cliche]

I don't get the second part of your post, you just copy and pasted my thing.

[AuntShecky]

I don't get the second part of your post, you just copy and pasted my thing.

I was in the middle of editing. It's okay now.

[Cliche]

Yea, I get the floating thing, it is from the absence of gravity, they're in space. I get some of them, I will edit it a little later. I don't get a few of them though, 5, 10, 16, 20. Also, that last part, 23, it wasn't supposed to be there, meant to take that out. I also need to get better at using it's and its.

[AuntShecky]

Evidently I was influenced by your screen name and believed you were deliberately using these hackneyed expressions common to SF fare in order to make a parody of the genre.

[Cliche]

Evidently I was influenced by your screen name and believed you were deliberately using these hackneyed expressions common to SF fare in order to make a parody of the genre.

Oh, no, I wasn't. I have just had this screen-name for awhile, I use it so I don't ever forget it, since generally no one ever uses it. I am only 14 as well, so I am not all too aware of cliche's used in the sci-fi genre. Ha, if anything I try to lean away from cliches, just sometimes it seems sort of hard to bend away from them. Especially when I typed this out in 10 minutes, while half asleep. I just always wanted to give a story about these people who travel to mars, and then hear about earth becoming over run with zombies. That is where I am trying to go with this, I haven't done any pre-writes or anything, so

[hillwalker]

so . . . you typed this in ten minutes while half asleep and expect us to take it seriously?

H

[cacian]

Cliche is Freedom 21 the name of the rocket? or does it mean something else?

[Cliche]

Cliche is Freedom 21 the name of the rocket? or does it mean something else?

Yea, I was going to add it in the next chapter. Something where when he was getting back in the ship after talking to the president on Destiny, he would read the the Freedom 21, I will work it in there.