Hi Haunted, and thanks for dropping in.Glad you like it.
Live and be well - H
Hi Haunted, and thanks for dropping in.
Live and be well - H
Enjoyed drifting with you for a short while. You slowed the pace down for a bit with these rhythms. The ticking became more obvious. Excellent!
Very well done Hawk. I even yawned while reading it!
Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb
Sounds great as usual, but you've clearly been doing this a while. I've honestly liked a lot of your previous works more and there doesn't seem to be anything particularly special about this as others might suggest. I'm being as impartial as possible, but nothing about it is memorable. Your Kamikaze poem is still one of my faves and definitely memorable, IMO. I've also noticed that when people try to give you advice you typically brush it off. At least you're confident in yourself, and that, I can appreciate.
My hide hides the heart inside
Silas: Thanks for reading and for noticing the tickglad you enjoyed it.
Delta: I hope you didn't find the yawn too stimulatingAlways happy to provoke some kind of response though
A09: No, it isn't particularly special, but it is coherent and executed with competence. The metaphor works, the rhythm is sound and the word choices are right. It's a poem about boredom, and what's memorable about that? I'm glad you find my work likeable, though you would appear to evidence a preference for my comic ballads - well, fair enough. The reason I'm confident is because I know what I'm doing (usually
Anyway, thanks again to all for reading and leaving comments.
Live and be well - H
It reminds me of the scene from some Biblical film, maybe Ben-Hur, with Charlton Heston's muscled arms (as opposed to his "cold, dead hands") manning an oar. (Fortunately, the AD reminded him to remove his wristwatch before shooting.)
Seriously, though, the rhythm matches the subject. I knew what "hortator" meant (same root word as "exhort"), but I'm sure you'll appreciate that I resisted the urge to make a risqué pun.
And for the record, you are one of the most gracious LitNutters we have. I've never known you to "brush off criticism." If anything, it's the opposite in that you are open to suggestions for improvement and I daresay grateful to receive them.
Hi Auntie. Ben Hur seems to be getting aired fairly frequently on the telly over here. In fact I think they showed it again just after I posted this. I must say, I do enjoy the scenes between the Late Great Jack Hawkins and no. 41. Nobody can say "Ramming Speed" like jack Hawkins
Here's a bit of trivia for you: MGM hired a naval architect who specialised in Roman Naval technology to design the galley. The crew took one look at the finished ship and said it was top heavy. Sure enough, when they put it in the water, a passing boat's wake upset the poorly trimmed craft and it rolled over. Eventually they had to securely anchor it in a pond which they had to dye blue.
When they wanted to film inside it the camera wouldn't fit so they cut the ship in half and moved it into an Italian sound stage. Unfortunately this was too small to accommodate the oars so they had to be cut short. This made them too light; each one had to be fitted with a door closing damper to make it look as though it had weight and to imitate the resistance of the water.
I think you are probably being too generous in your estimation of my graciousness
Anyway, thanks for reading and for your comments, which are always appreciated.
Live and be well - H
"Great" Jack Hawkins is right! Fascinating trivia about movie making-- no wonder the film makers went over-budget! Evidently so much so they couldn't afford a voice coach, because for the life of me I'll never figure out why so many Roman soldiers had British accents.
Well captured Hawk. Was it inspired by reading some of the postings on here of late?
For those who believe,
no explanation is necessary.
For those who do not,
none will suffice.
Hi Auntie, I'm afraid it's traditional in Hollywood to make Brits baddies and the Romans are the baddies in this film (except Jack Hawkins) Mind you, the Arab Sheik was a Welshman!
JB: Thanks for reading. In answer to your horse-flogging question - no, not really.
Live and be well - H
I, also, think the poem's theme would have more continuity, if your description of the doldrums was more succinct. What about,"Still, the doldrums linger, repressed". You are dipping your oars into the deep, cold sea, but the rippled doldrums do not consequentially move from your tireless efforts. They remain stagnant, un-moved by your desire to get to a better place. All set asides aside, your poem takes us on a great metaphorical voyage through life. Most peoples' lives are redundant, repetitive exercises. I enjoyed it very much.
I accidentally posted my review twice, so I have deleted one of the posts.
Last edited by virtuoso; 06-11-2013 at 11:54 AM.
Repressed(?) lingering is not the same as repressed seething, the connotations are entirely different. Did you catch my exposition to b/v about the Paul Tillich quote? It helps put the words into context.
Anyway, thanks for reading.
Live and be well - H
Yes, but "seething doldrums" is a bit of an oxymoronic expression. If your life is in the doldrums, then their is no appreciable response to your actions. If the calm waters are seething, then you are making some headway with your monotonous, calibrated oar strokes. I think that the doldrums remaining apathetic to your lethargic rowing makes much more sense.
As for linger and repressed, the doldrums linger despite your rowing strokes. But, each, monotonous stroke does not spur a consequential countermovement from the slow, languid water. The oars press down into the slow moving current, but get no discernible response. Constant, oar strokes repress the unmovable, stagnant current, but do not effect the composition or state of the current as a whole. If you are figuratively in the doldrums, then your weak actions do not effect or alter the surrounding environment. Your muted attempts are repressed by circumstances larger than you. The size, depth of the doldrums allow them to easily absorb your inconsequential oar strokes.
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
