Minimalist Poetry Contest

[cacian]

congratulations Adolescent09!! I think this contest is due anyone for a new subject Adolescent does not seem to be around

[Melanie]

He was last in the forum an hour ago. I just PMed him to check this thread.

[Adolescent09]

So sorry for not replying sooner guys. Thanks for your generous comment, Melanie. I find it hard to believe I won, lol.

Anywho! The next word is: Languid

Deadline: June 3rd

[YesNo]

Languid is lazy
The cousin of crazy.

[Dark Muse]

You Pull Me Through

I watch you languid upon the bed,
pulled toward you
it feels like moving through molasses
and everything in the room
slides down the walls at the speed of glass,
like running through dreams,
but still the force of your will
brings me forward
while you remain without inertia.

[cacian]

languid
flawless is banquet
take up
mandrake it steps
up life bits
flippant may trick

[Pendragon]

Lying languid
Lazily looking long--
Last lover leaving
Looks like love lost

[Melanie]

wistful thoughts
on a languid morning melody
clothed in contentment
washed in green remembrance
of gentler times

[jajdude]

A man at sea indifferent to the waves and winds
Soon finds himself washed away

[Bobbycrane]

The languid dog
Sits on the mat
Smelling of farts
And wee

[NickBrown]

The mighty light pierced fiercely through the night

[Adolescent09]

Great entries by everyone, folks. I will post individual thoughts/comments on each one and state the winner in about 3 hours.

[Adolescent09]

As I said, great entries from all!

Here we go...

YesNo: Your offering definitely delivers a unique interpretation of languor. I understood it like this: It is crazy to be lazy if you don't take advantage of good opportunities that other people would give an arm and a leg for. Definitely other ways to view it though and I did like it.

Dark Muse: You are one of the few longtime LitNetters (alongside Pendragon) who continues to bless the poetry section with your gems. This entry is clearly no different, though I will try to offer my pros/cons. For one, your 'glass' metaphor was brilliant, even if you didn't see it the way I did. Glass making is an extremely long-winded process, one that may be correlated to a languid person's perception of time. Also, the limitless reflection of glass with itself echoes the concept of the following line "running through dreams", which invites an Inception-like interpretation of the subject. Cons: Use of the word "like" twice. I think there are better ways to draw parallels between topics without using the word, "like". It makes it worse when it is noticeable. The molasses metaphor was lacking. Great entry either way!

cacian: You're too creative and imaginative for me to understand, cacian. I admire your lack of restraint. Your poetry is clearly unconventional and unlike anything I've ever read on this forum. Unfortunately I cannot provide a proper assessment since I can't even begin to understand what it means! It is a wonderful breath of fresh air having you on the forum either way.

Pendragon: Ah, Pen. It goes without saying that your poetry is appreciated by pretty much everyone on this forum, especially your villanelles and the hundreds of poems I read of yours back in '07 and '08. I might be reading this completely wrong but this is how I perceived your entry: The poem seems as though it was lazily written, which goes very well with the topic word. Languid seems to capture your mood while writing this better than any meaning the poem itself conveys. Still, the last two lines are melancholy without being mawkish and interpretations are limitless. Quite nice.

Melanie: Your entry has a very reminiscent-type 'halcyon days of youth' theme that brings to my mind a reflection of buried innocence. It is not entirely gone, but past utopian views are forsaken for current realism. "Green remembrance" sounds like luscious, well-watered grass, 'gentler times' is innocence, and a languid morning sounds serene; something similar to what I envision heaven resembles. Much enjoyed.

jajdude: I'm at a loss for words.

Bobbycrane: Clever and humorous. It has a paradoxical aura of impending death and light humor at the same time. In my mind, this begs the question: Should we laugh with happiness at the thought that the sufferers on Earth (whether they be our furry friends or human companions) are now frolicking with a metaphysical entity? I could go off on an essay-long tangent about this piece alone. Much appreciated!

NickBrown: I might be reading way too much into this, but your entry flips the notion of languor completely on its head. The "light" of individual expression pierces the "night" of conformity and familial/societal customs. Some are seen as lazy simply because they do not preoccupy themselves with topics of fruitless discussion. Ex: I was lazy when it came to undergraduate Biology topics simply because rote memorization does not appeal to me. When I changed to a more analytical science/math degree, the "light" of my newfound interest pierced the "night" of my laziness in regards to natural science topics.
-------

When it comes to LitNet forumgoers, the fact that each and every one of us keeps the written word alive in a world where most people would rather watch T.V., party all day, and play video games, makes us a collective body of winners. True winners of enlightenment for the sake of enlightenment.

But only one can be the winner of this contest, so..

And the winner is... jajude
Simply put: This entry should be next to the text-book definition of the word "languid". I can't put my finger on exactly what it was that touched me... but it reminded me of something an ancient philosopher would say. Just wonderful.

jajdude
A man at sea indifferent to the waves and winds
Soon finds himself washed away

[Delta40]

I enjoyed reading them all.

[Dark Muse]

Congrats jajude