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Thread: Which is worse :Divorce or the Death of....

  1. #16
    Ecurb Ecurb's Avatar
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    Next question: which is worse, death or marriage?

  2. #17
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    Are not marriage and divorce similar? The former is the sun-rise of love and the latter sun-set of love, moreover, financially speaking, both are a burden on ones wallet, seemingly a costly affair. Is it?

  3. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bleeding Pawn View Post
    Are not marriage and divorce similar? The former is the sun-rise of love and the latter sun-set of love, moreover, financially speaking, both are a burden on ones wallet, seemingly a costly affair. Is it?

    There are some who'd disagree with that statement: http://www.npr.org/2012/09/13/161017...s-from-poverty
    Last edited by astrum; 05-21-2013 at 04:58 PM.

  4. #19
    BadWoolf JuniperWoolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by astrum View Post
    To some people, divorce can be worse if they're still in love with their exes, and their ex marries someone else.
    No no no, if you love someone then death is worse every time. Having someone you love die is the worst thing in the world, much worse than having them ignore you.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ecurb View Post
    Next question: which is worse, death or marriage?
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  5. #20
    Registered User Darcy88's Avatar
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    I'd much rather an ex of mine go on to live a long life of sadness and suffering and come to deeply regret either leaving me or pushing me away than have them slip into the peaceful oblivion of death. Therefore, death is worse.
    “To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow. So do it.”

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  6. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by astrum View Post
    There are some who'd disagree with that statement: http://www.npr.org/2012/09/13/161017...s-from-poverty
    The link was a good read. Agreed that we should help, in one way or the other, but the report`s main objective for suggesting marriage between couples is just to eliminate poverty, not love? It does not mention anything nor is not concerned with the emotional and social well being for the single mother and her kid/s, neither do they consider any mutual effection is needed for being bonded together.

    Now,to clarify, I am not against any act/campaign that eradicates poverty nor against the natural union between two human being ( it seems so , since there aresome that mistook my statement in a negative way), but what I wanted to say was that weddings, in modern times,tend to be extravagant in nature, sometimes ending up being lavish to the details. The expenditure raised/brought up for these kind of ceremonies could go to some authentic charitable organisations or be used to arranged for communal weddings.

    No doubt, every women has the desire to feel and be treated like a princess at least once in her life but then she would surely comprehend if the sole aim here is to stamp out poverty.

  7. #22
    confidentially pleased cacian's Avatar
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    there is no question divorce is more messy and therefore more traumatic long terms because it affects both parties in some ways.
    death however is unpredictable and therefore when it hits it is a fact of life it is very sad but it is less obviously traumatic then the above situation.
    it may never try
    but when it does it sigh
    it is just that
    good
    it fly

  8. #23
    Registered User Darcy88's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cacian View Post
    there is no question divorce is more messy and therefore more traumatic long terms because it affects both parties in some ways.
    death however is unpredictable and therefore when it hits it is a fact of life it is very sad but it is less obviously traumatic then the above situation.
    I don't see how the death of a spouse would be any less traumatic than divorce.
    “To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow. So do it.”

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  9. #24
    confidentially pleased cacian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Darcy88 View Post
    I don't see how the death of a spouse would be any less traumatic than divorce.
    well dying is a fact of life and so if either wife or husband died then at least one does not feel guilt responsibility towards one's destiny/faith because death is what it is it happens.
    divorce however is messier because it symbolises failure from either parties. it makes one feel guilty responsible and unworthy. there are many aspects of divorce that are not very nice one feels let down or simply emotionally injured. It is not nice when a husband or a wife decide to leave because it makes one feel anxious belittled hurt. Rejection is what divorce is about and humans do not cope with rejection very well whereas death is what it says on the packet one has reached one's final destiny and that is nobody else's fault but death.
    it is clearly very different emotion wise.
    it may never try
    but when it does it sigh
    it is just that
    good
    it fly

  10. #25
    Registered User Darcy88's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cacian View Post
    well dying is a fact of life and so if either wife or husband died then at least one does not feel guilt responsibility towards one's destiny/faith because death is what it is it happens.
    divorce however is messier because it symbolises failure from either parties. it makes one feel guilty responsible and unworthy. there are many aspects of divorce that are not very nice one feels let down or simply emotionally injured. It is not nice when a husband or a wife decide to leave because it makes one feel anxious belittled hurt. Rejection is what divorce is about and humans do not cope with rejection very well whereas death is what it says on the packet one has reached one's final destiny and that is nobody else's fault but death.
    it is clearly very different emotion wise.
    If you have children then you have to live through your children's grief over them losing a father or mother. Divorce could mean the end of much conflict and discord, while the death of a spouse might suddenly strike amidst a period of marital happiness.

    The only positive thing that can come from the death of a spouse is that unlike divorce you are not obligated to shell out alimony in perpetuity, and there is also much sympathy to be had. As the wise Jerry Seinfeld discovered, the best back-story for picking up a woman is that you are a widower.
    “To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow. So do it.”

    - Kurt Vonnegut

  11. #26
    confidentially pleased cacian's Avatar
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    QUOTE=Darcy88;1220076]If you have children then you have to live through your children's grief over them losing a father or mother. Divorce could mean the end of much conflict and discord, while the death of a spouse might suddenly strike amidst a period of marital happiness.
    true but there is damage long terms with children separated from a marital family home to a suddenly new environment where mum or dad are either single or cohabiting with new partners. children tend to suffer more this kind of loss then a death loss.
    the death of either a wife or a husband mum or dad comes with much healing and quicker because as you mentioned it happened amidst a period of marital happiness. the point of this is that happiness should not come in slices in a marriage because harmony is from the onset.
    marriage equals happiness and if it is not because it only comes in dribs and drabs and not always then there is something not quite right. only be with someone if you are to be content always and not just here and there.

    The only positive thing that can come from the death of a spouse is that unlike divorce you are not obligated to shell out alimony in perpetuity, and there is also much sympathy to be had. As the wise Jerry Seinfeld discovered, the best back-story for picking up a woman is that you are a widower.
    true and that is what modern society is about marriage because it is the a lucrative alliance for the state to make money, it may look perfectly legitimate and good for society but its drawbacks are cost high and therefore much beneficial to others. money must come from somewhere and marriage is the perfect assets for money makers.
    Last edited by cacian; 05-23-2013 at 04:34 PM.
    it may never try
    but when it does it sigh
    it is just that
    good
    it fly

  12. #27
    Registered User Darcy88's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cacian View Post
    [

    true but there is damage long terms with children separated from a marital family home to a suddenly new environment where mum or dad are either single or cohabiting with new partners. children tend to suffer more this kind of loss then a death loss.
    I really doubt that is true. I think most kids would rather their parents got divorced than one of them should die.
    “To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow. So do it.”

    - Kurt Vonnegut

  13. #28
    confidentially pleased cacian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Darcy88 View Post
    I really doubt that is true. I think most kids would rather their parents got divorced than one of them should die.
    well yes you are right in this one but I am thinking long term. children form divorced families tend to do less well in their own private lives and therein then those whose mum or dad died whilst they were growing up. the impact of divorce is more serious then that of a death. ideally none would occur but I think divorce is more pending damage wise then death albeit both are extremely sad. their grievances are different in terms of long term emotional baggage/damage.
    it may never try
    but when it does it sigh
    it is just that
    good
    it fly

  14. #29
    Procrastinator General *Classic*Charm*'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Darcy88 View Post
    I'd much rather an ex of mine go on to live a long life of sadness and suffering and come to deeply regret either leaving me or pushing me away than have them slip into the peaceful oblivion of death. Therefore, death is worse.
    Thinking like this makes me very sad. I don't mean you personally Darcy, but your post is a good example of how many people I have encountered seem to think.

    Just because someone you love/d doesn't love you anymore, you would wish suffering or death on them? Wow.
    I'm weary with right-angles, abbreviated daylight,
    Waiting for a winter to be done.
    Why do I still see you in every mirrored window,
    In all that I could never overcome?

  15. #30
    Registered User Darcy88's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by *Classic*Charm* View Post
    Thinking like this makes me very sad. I don't mean you personally Darcy, but your post is a good example of how many people I have encountered seem to think.

    Just because someone you love/d doesn't love you anymore, you would wish suffering or death on them? Wow.
    No, not death. I've never wished death on anyone. My post was mostly kidding. I have friendships with a couple of my exes. One girl I dated took a massive nose-dive after we stopped seeing each other. Got an abusive new boyfriend and started doing hard drugs, lost her friends and her job. Few things have saddened me more than what happened to her. But in a couple instances I was harshly rejected and I'll admit that I do not "wish the best" for those two young women.
    “To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow. So do it.”

    - Kurt Vonnegut

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