Suadade

[hack]

I dreamed I was the ocean
intent upon the shore,
in my dreams I touched you,
in dreams love can be fair.

[Hawkman]

An interesting title and appropriate to the theme. I can understand where you are coming from in how you have presented this: The flowing romanticism of the opening three lines and the dissatisfaction engendered by the abrupt, off-key ending, so one can see how the theme is reflected in the execution. But although I can appreciate the relationship between form and content I am disappointed by the poem's brevity. I want more story. As it is, it's almost an ironic joke, which may well have been your intention. After all, That opening line, although I haven't been able to actually place it, sounds like a quote even if it isn't one, and borders on cliché.

So, with 4 lines you seem to have achieved rather a lot of speculation

Live and be well - H

[hack]

H, Thank you for your critique. The most obvious of criticisms, it seems to me, is the too hasty misspelling of the title. So far as I know this is not a quotation, but as Shakespeare famously said (via Ecclesiastes), "there is nothing new under the sun". As for the charge that it is cliche, that I will readily admit. Jean Cocteau said that "The greatest masterpiece in literature is only a dictionary out of order." To misquote another cliche, now this monkey will go back to his typewriter for another reshuffle of the dictionary in search of one brief sentence. Thank you again.
Peace,
Hack

[Haunted]

A lovely piece hack. It's deceivingly short but there's more than meets the eye. It exhibits great skill and thoughts.