Alpha Males: Aye or Nay?

[Monamy]

I don't know about you guys, but I always thought Alpha and Beta is related to animals when it comes to relations/attitude. So this topic kinda... worries me.

[YesNo]

My view of an alpha male is a single guy with few financial responsibilities and so plenty of disposable income who enjoys the challenge of getting a woman to have sex with him where there is a certain amount of risk involved such as her having a husband or boyfriend who might come after him.

One feature about him is that he is not discrete. If he is working late on Friday evening with a reasonably attractive woman and she decides its OK just this once to have sex with him, first thing Monday morning all of her co-workers will know about it.

[cacian]

My view of an alpha male is a single guy with few financial responsibilities and so plenty of disposable income who enjoys the challenge of getting a woman to have sex with him where there is a certain amount of risk involved such as her having a husband or boyfriend who might come after him.

Hi YesNo that is one frame of mind I cannot get into not matter how much I try to get some sense out of this 'risk' business.
Someone tried once to explain it to me, the thrill behind the concept of wanting to do something in hiddance but then at the same time wanting to be caught. It is totally lost on me. It is one hell of a complicated state of mind if you do not mind me saying. It defeats the whole idea of having sex for the pleasure of sex and makes sex sound like a cheap scapegoat for the sake of a mental thrill which is totally not without consequences.
It is almost as if one is wanting to be punished for an act he or she did not really care much about.
I guess it does play on the idea of tormented pleasure.
Is there a way around it is my question?
I guess that is the only explanation I can give to this kind of mental thrills.

One feature about him is that he is not discrete. If he is working late on Friday evening with a reasonably attractive woman and she decides its OK just this once to have sex with him, first thing Monday morning all of her co-workers will know about it.

It takes two to tango and that is why business and pleasure simply do not mixt or do they?

[PoeticPassions]

I voted for 'who cares.' Meh.

I like all kinds of men anyway. The soft, sensitive ones, and the aggressive, strong ones. Depends on my mood, the circumstances, etc. That's why I agree with Darcy that a man is best when he is a mixture of things. But I surely do like a man to be dominant sometimes, particularly as I am a very strong woman and have a strong personality and am stubborn and opinionated... so sometimes it is refreshing when a man is not submissive or subservient to my needs and wants, but rather puts me in my place.

[tonywalt]

I voted for 'who cares.' Meh.

I like all kinds of men anyway. The soft, sensitive ones, and the aggressive, strong ones. Depends on my mood, the circumstances, etc. That's why I agree with Darcy that a man is best when he is a mixture of things. But I surely do like a man to be dominant sometimes, particularly as I am a very strong woman and have a strong personality and am stubborn and opinionated... so sometimes it is refreshing when a man is not submissive or subservient to my needs and wants, but rather puts me in my place.

Well Thanks Poetic! A refreshing view - and not a little bit different than the main female view.

[LitNetIsGreat]

Was there a confusion in the previous "Aye or Nay?" threads?

Was there ever a question that we were discussing the existence of Sundays, broccoli or TV dinners in those threads?

I just wondered as some people questioned their very existence?! So we are voting if we like them or not? Difficult to say for me, but it will be interesting to see how the ladies vote on this one...and if we believe them...

Originally Posted by Paulclem View Post
I've used the term "bloke-man" before to denote a male who is more manly than men - hairier, more aggressive, dominant, loudmouthed, intolerant, bullying and leader like in an aggressive playground kind of way - or, to put it another way, like the silverback gorilla of the group. They aren't the cleverest, but they can punch pretty hard, so the smaller, more daring loudmouths like myself feel the full force of their ire when, as I invariably did, I took the piss. (That has been, and still is in certain circles, my role - the annoyer).

I have met and been aggressed by these chaps. They certainly exist, but they are not comfortable to be around if you are after a quiet life.

Thank you, Paul. This pretty much sums up my views as well.

Does anyone really want to take one of those home with them?

You would think not, but after seeing hundreds of women falling at their knees, obviously so.

To be fair though they are not all as rough as described above necessarily.

[Scheherazade]

... it will be interesting to see how the ladies vote on this one...and if we believe them...

Of course, why would you believe them??? They would just say one thing and do just the opposite, silly cretins!

You would think not, but after seeing hundreds of women falling at their knees, obviously so.

I know, right? And I bet they would still pick "nay" in this poll as well!

To be fair though they are not all as rough as described above necessarily.

Speaking from experience?

[Emil Miller]

...first thing Monday morning all of her co-workers will know about it.

Not only the colleagues but I know of a case where a guy I worked with had to leave town and stay with his parents because the woman in question actually told her husband, who then went around town asking the after the guy and saying that he was going to kill him.

[LitNetIsGreat]

Of course, why would you believe them??? They would just say one thing and do just the opposite, silly cretins!

I know, right? And I bet they would still pick "nay" in this poll as well!

I thought saying one thing and doing the opposite was a female speciality.

Speaking from experience?

Speaking from experience.

[Scheherazade]

Speaking from experience.

I am glad at least your experiences with alpha males have been pleasant.

[Paulclem]

Is the alpha male the antithesis of the metrosexual male?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...rm=metrosexual

Interesting off-shoot from the attraction thread.

[tonywalt]

American Heritage dictionary: Alpha - Being the highest ranked or most dominant individual of one's sex.

I could give other sources, but that's not what is at issue here. What is at issue here:

Many people (including men) do not like this word (and perhaps for good reason-understandably) as the word can easily connote by most definition- powerful/chauvinistic alpha males. And many people, even without feminist views, do not like that type of male. And rightly so.

I would heartily agree that given the imperfect nature of humans- they too often take advantage/abuse what power they have whether it be money, political, or gender. This is certainly true of males, hence the feminist movement - and feminists were/are right in their intention and views. It comes from a good place.

It is similar, but not the same for other words that have negative connotations - like Negro(scientific word, but not conversationally exceptable in the West). Because it harkens back to disgraceful and unpleasant history. Personally, it is not an emotive word - but I can see how it would be for others.

This posting is an Olive Branch that was always available by myself, as I harbour no chauvinistic beliefs and do not tolterate men that do harbour such beliefs or commit any actions that reflect that belief.

Tony

[JuniperWoolf]

I don't know about you guys, but I always thought Alpha and Beta is related to animals when it comes to relations/attitude.

It is. I think this whole Alpha Beta as applied to humans is a game, like tribal fantasy play, because it sure isn't empirical. How would you even go about classifying people into Alpha or Beta when someone's behavior or social dominance depends on the situation, who they're around, and their state of mind? Is an Alpha still Alpha when his boss is reaming him out, or when he's visiting his grandma? Is a Beta a Beta even when he's keeping company with paraplegics, or hell, when he's just sitting at his kitchen table eating breakfast?

It's not that I think it's chauvinistic (how exactly?), I just think it's juvenile, simplistic, and lame. This is the kind of stupid topic you'd come across on collegehumor.com, I have no idea why this has been a major topic on litnet for about three days now.

I thought saying one thing and doing the opposite was a female speciality.

Gee, I can't fathom why the ladies never chased you. I mean, what with your charming and witty sense of humor, your kind and enlightened character, and your keen intelligence. It must be that they're all exceptionally shallow, or else there's some sort of sciencey-type evolutionary cause - for I simply can not think of a more obvious and likely explanation.

[Emil Miller]

Is the alpha male the antithesis of the metrosexual male?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...rm=metrosexual

Interesting off-shoot from the attraction thread.

Absolutely hilarious! Looking randomly through the descriptions I became momentarily alarmed at reading this: ' You'd rather drink wine than beer... but you'll find out what estate and vintage first.'

But gave a sigh of relief on reading :'You see a stylist instead of a barber, because barbers don't do highlights.'

And further reassured by: 'You just can't walk past a Banana Republic store without making a purchase.'

[YesNo]

Hi YesNo that is one frame of mind I cannot get into not matter how much I try to get some sense out of this 'risk' business.
Someone tried once to explain it to me, the thrill behind the concept of wanting to do something in hiddance but then at the same time wanting to be caught. It is totally lost on me. It is one hell of a complicated state of mind if you do not mind me saying. It defeats the whole idea of having sex for the pleasure of sex and makes sex sound like a cheap scapegoat for the sake of a mental thrill which is totally not without consequences.

It puzzles me also. You would think men would have better things to do.

I suspect actually having someone's husband scare the alpha male wannabe enough so that he would go into hiding by living with his parents, as Emil Miller recounts, may not be how he hoped the male-over-male dominance would have worked out. In that case, I would have to think the husband reasserted his dominance and became the alpha male.

But this makes me realize that it is the other men, whether husband, boyfriend or even male acquaintances of the woman, who are most important in the alpha male's perspective. The woman is only secondary, though enjoyable, entertainment. She is like the tree the dog pisses on to mark his territory for the other dogs. It is the others dogs, not the tree, that matters to the alpha male wannabe.

As you mention it takes two to tangle. I wonder what must be going on in the woman's mind, especially if she tells her husband what the alpha male did to her. I guess she likes to see her husband feel obligated to chase the wannabe around.