What Attracts You First? Poll #1 for Women Only

[LitNetIsGreat]

You've mentioned this "blue eyes" thing several times now. Calidore included that in the poll because of this response of mine in the original thread:



I'm just as shallow as you think all carbon-copy men are. Actually, that's the funny thing: your view isn't just narrrow-minded in regards to women (as Pensive very well stated, "no matter how much of a carbon copy of each other women may sound to some men, just like men, women actually tend to differ from each other as well and have different priorities"), it also pigeonholes men. There's no room for Calidore or Loka in your worldview (that's two of the five men who have spoken up on this topic, according to my headcount), they proclaim to be much more drawn to non-physical traits which makes them "hypocrites," but hey! Men aren't hypocrites! Men know what's going on in their mind, it's women who are self-deluded!

So yeah, I wouldn't say you particularly dislike women (unlike Mutatis, which was an unpleasant surprise), I'd say you're sexist in regards to both men and women, and that you base your worldview on stereotypes while ignoring that which contradicts the rules as you've come to understand them. I mean, you could have at least aknowledged that what you were saying was a very broad generalization before your most recent post addressing Pensive.

And also humor does matter: it's a large part of charm, and charm counts for even more than "confidence" (both of which I might add are non-physical attributes, so could being attracted to confidence really be considered "shallow?").

First thing. I mention blue eyes because eyes is fourth on the poll behind humour, intelligence and kindness, as well as it being such a cliché thing ('tall, dark and handsome' is another. I don't mention them in reference to some other thread that I haven't even read I don't think!?! In you think I mention blue eyes as some weird cross reference to you then there is even more delusion going on.

Secondly, my points are not narrow-minded, I'm not sexist and I don't hold a world view based on rigid stereotypes - though experience of the world counts for a lot in my opinion. Naturally generalisations are just that, like I said, but I stand by my points because this is overwhelmingly my experience as it obviously is with other men. The polite and respect chap who sits in the corner just does not attract women like the centre of attention/alpha male character - I can't believe you can think otherwise.

This deluded insistence on women being primarily attracted to humour, intelligence and politeness (and eye colour) can be really annoying for men whose past experience tells them otherwise.

[JuniperWoolf]

First thing. I mention blue eyes because eyes is fourth on the poll behind humour, intelligence and kindness, as well as it being such a cliché thing. ('tall, dark and handsome' is another. I don't mention them in reference to some other thread that I haven't even read I don't think!?! In you think I mention blue eyes as some weird cross reference to you then there is even more delusion going on.

Yes, and this poll is a conglomeration of traits mentioned by people in the previous thread, "blue eyes" being one that I myself contributed in the post which I just now quoted, and as you've brought it up several times as an example of female delusion I thought I'd clarify. Also, calm down, you sound somewhat hysterical.

The polite and respect chap who sits in the corner just does not attract women like the centre of attention/alpha male character - I can't believe you can think otherwise.

That's obviously not where I take issue, seeing as how I posted the following:

I'd say that women do feel a strong sexual attraction to "bad boy" types, that seems to fit (although I still contend that this is merely sexual and that people choose long-term mates based on shared traits and not based on whether or not said mate is a "bad boy," this is also supported by science).

My entire point was summed up in my post here:

{you're}... ceasing to acknowledge the numerous examples which contradict {your generalizations}. I mean, you could have at least said in your original post eight pages ago that all of it was broad generalization, it's ignorant to just say "WOMEN do THIS, and MEN do THIS!!!" like all behaviors and preferences can be predicted depending on the subject's body

This deluded insistence on women being primarily attracted to humour, intelligence and politeness (and eye colour) can be really annoying for men whose past experience tells them otherwise.

Why would you care? And also, if it's WOMEN who do this, then why have two of the five MEN who have weighed in on this topic (again, according to my memory) also mentioned being primarily and initially attracted to non-physical attributes such as intelligence? If it's what WOMEN do, and MEN aren't delusional like WOMEN, then why did 40% of MEN in these threads do the same thing? See, your insistance is based on a broad generalization to which you cease to acknowledge exceptions, and is sexist to both men and women. Generalizations are sexist, just like they are racist when you say "Asians are good at math," or "Jews love money."

And also, humor is sexually attractive. A person is made exponentially more attractive if they are witty, charming and funny. I have no idea why you don't see it, it's very evident in daily life and has been discussed at length in this very thread. I don't write this with the explicit intent of offending you, but the fact is your own sense of humor isn't exactly shining, so if your own "personal experience" has told you that women don't fall for a sense of humor, this might be the explanation.

[tonywalt]

The whole "women like bad boys" is just another more clever and giggle inducing way of saying they are naturally and chemically attracted to Alpha males, who have the pick of the litter and typically, with exception, will use that power to have a plurality of women- making them a bad boy.

That's all there is to know about bad boy attraction. If your loner or socially awkward or shy to a fault you can be a Bad Boy - all by your damn self.

[LitNetIsGreat]

The whole "women like bad boys" is just another more clever and giggle inducing way of saying they are naturally and chemically attracted to Alpha males, who have the pick of the litter and typically, with exception, will use that power to have a plurality of women- making them a bad boy.

That's all there is to know about bad boy attraction. If your loner or socially awkward or shy to a fault you can be a Bad Boy - all by your damn self.

Yes, that is about the bottom line of it. Of course, some women would have us believe, not likely, that what they primarily are attracted to is humour, intelligence and politeness???

Of course this makes the likes of Ken Dodd really hot stuff!!

Corr hot stuff for you there ladies!




Humour, intelligence and politeness all in one!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4znpOdPRrg

Thank me later...

[Delta40]

I never dated a guy that didn't make me laugh. Even if he was good looking, who wants the company of a whinger?

[Jack of Hearts]

Yes, that is about the bottom line of it. Of course, some women would have us believe, not likely, that what they primarily are attracted to is humour, intelligence and politeness???

Of course this makes the likes of Ken Dodd really hot stuff!!

Corr hot stuff for you there ladies!




Humour, intelligence and politeness all in one!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4znpOdPRrg

Thank me later...

This is one of the stupidest things this reader has ever read. This reader, simply put, is one of the lamest, un-baddest guys ever- and to use understatement: women have never been a problem.

Be careful about misogynistic attitudes and even more careful with how you think of yourself.







J

Edit: Meant to clip some of tony's post in with the quoted one. Condemn both equally.

[LitNetIsGreat]

I think I agree, I love making lists so when I took this poll I took my time and thought about everything I picked carefully before. After I did that though and just a few days ago I decided to stop making lists like this because if I look at my track record my ex boyfriends didn't fit in that category.

Chemistry is probably the one thing that matters.... I say this after thinking a lot about me and looking at my best friend and my brother, both of them are in a relationship with someone they never would have described before as ideal.

at the moment my 'list' only has someone with similar views on life and willing to listen to me talk about odd things, I tend to do that and most people look at me like I'm crazy.

Yes, also don't forget that this is not a thread about your ideal man, but rather what first attracts. Overall and generally speaking, I just can't buy the argument that the majority of women initially seek humour, intelligence and kindness and thereby ignore the confident and attractive 'alpha male' type, because this is simply not true. If Brad Pitt walked into a bar would he be totally ignored by the women in there? Would the ugly man in the corner reading an advanced chemistry textbook be mobbed instead? For this is what is being implied here.

This is one of the stupidest things this reader has ever read. This reader, simply put, is one of the lamest, un-baddest guys ever- and to use understatement: women have never been a problem.

Be careful about misogynistic attitudes and even more careful with how you think of yourself.

Just what are you on about? Ken Dodd has a great sense of humour, is the very hub of kindness and actually is very intelligent - the ideal man?

[tonywalt]

I never dated a guy that didn't make me laugh. Even if he was good looking, who wants the company of a whinger?

Exactly, humour falls under social dynamic and it's probably the biggest key on the ring in attraction. Sorry, I should have spelled it out. I am not talking about what is good in a relationship, but rather what "attract..first".

[Delta40]

Exactly, humour falls under social dynamic and it's probably the biggest key on the ring in attraction. Sorry, I should have spelled it out. I am not talking about what is good in a relationship, but rather what "attract..first".

so you're saying a sense of humour cannot compensate for physical attributes in an attract first context?

[Darcy88]

Humor and intelligence do set women on fire as far as attraction goes. Wit is an essential element of charm. The smart and humorous average looking man will have the advantage over the sullen/arrogant/humorless but absolutely gorgeous man. Both will have great luck with women. Confidence really helps. A guy with wit and confidence will outdo a handsome man who lacks these characteristics and shines only superficially.

[Delta40]

Humor and intelligence do set women on fire as far as attraction goes. Wit is an essential element of charm. The smart and humorous average looking man will have the advantage over the sullen/arrogant/humorless but absolutely gorgeous man. Both will have great luck with women. Confidence really helps. A guy with wit and confidence will outdo a handsome man who lacks these characteristics and shines only superficially.

I was watching Hustle lastnight and the guys reckon the best pick up was to pull out the handkerchief and start gently sobbing because a woman cannot resist a man who cries since it awakens all her maternal instincts....

[tonywalt]

so you're saying a sense of humour cannot compensate for physical attributes in an attract first context?

Exactly, hell yea, it's 110 times more important that what I guy looks like. It's part of the social dynamic.

I was watching Hustle lastnight and the guys reckon the best pick up was to pull out the handkerchief and start gently sobbing because a woman cannot resist a man who cries since it awakens all her maternal instincts....

Yea, it awakens her maternal instincts. It depends on what instinct you are hoping to awaken within her......

[Delta40]

Yea, it awakens her maternal instincts. It depends on what instinct you are hoping to awaken within her......

lol. Play it right and she'll make you feel all better!

[tonywalt]

lol. Play it right and she'll make you feel all better!

Hm, maybe, but it's too easy - candy from a baby. Weak crying guy at the bar trick - every guy does it.

[Delta40]

Hm, maybe, but it's too easy - candy from a baby. Weak crying guy at the bar trick - every guy does it.

Don't worry Tony, since moral conscience wasn't on the poll, it can't be a first attraction for women but mind you do it intelligently and with a sense of humour