What Attracts You First? Poll #1 for Women Only

[JuniperWoolf]

So you are speaking in a manner which suggest you do not agree with what I say, yet the substance of your post agrees with everything I said.

Well no, see, it's the fact that you're saying "all women are like this and if they aren't then they're liars" that I disagree with. Even if there is a general tendancy for the female population to lbe sexually attracted to one kind of person (and that's general tendancy, the first word there is very important), it's impossible for ALL of them to, and it's also impossible to see inside any one person's head to tell them what they're thinking. That's beyond presumptuous, it's bordering on mystical. Are you a mind reader?

The most polite soldiers in the world. They ask the bad guy if it's okay to shoot, then sincerely apologize afterwards.

Haha, we even wear bright red berets to announce our coming so the enemy doesn't get rudely surprised.

Are you suggesting that the proportion of women who get in relationships with a-holes isn't unreasonable?

"Relationships" is a bit far, in my experience women don't get into "relationships" with them (this is an "all ages forum," but I think you know what women do with them). I don't have numbers in front of me, but most "boyfriends" that I know are indeed "nice." *edit* Oh yeah, Pip's right, I remember now that people tend to choose mates (meaning long-term) who are similar to themselves. I'll photocopy the page and post it here if the "women want relationships with jerks" malarky doesn't die.

I'm suggesting that it's probably around the same proportion as guys who get in relationships with crazy women. Yet you don't see the women on this forum bellyaching every time this subject comes up.

This forum is particularly bad, I've never heard anyone in real life do the whole "grr, women just want our walets!" tirade. Is this 2012, or 1952? Next they'll be saying "grr, all black people want is watermelon, and Asians want to do all our math!"

[Scheherazade]

What I would like to know is why there are hardly any posts in the Male version of this thread.

[Babyguile]

What I would like to know is why there are hardly any posts in the Male version of this thread.

Because, even on an internet forum, men feel self-conscious about admitting that they look for qualities in women other than big breasts and a hot figure. I think young men in particular find it very hard to have an adult discussion with eachother about what they look for in a partner.

It's all very immature.

[JuniperWoolf]

Because, even on an internet forum, men feel self-conscious about admitting that they look for qualities in women other than big breasts and a hot figure. I think young men in particular find it very hard to have an adult discussion with eachother about what they look for in a partner.

It's all very immature.

See, now you're stereotyping and making generalizations about men. That's just as bad, and of course will only cause people to retaliate or to call you a hypocrite, because it's obvious that you're doing the same thing to the group to which they're a part that you dislike them doing to the group to which you're a part.

[PoeticPassions]

I actually don't mind that the men on this forum have called out women on the issue of ending up with jerks (or go for men with money.. but some men go for women with money too, I've seen it a lot as well, particularly in my culture where there is a mix of both)... I will say, however, that out of my own experience and observations, it is not like women consciously say 'well, hey, I want some total a**hole for a boyfriend,' but what ends up happening is that the 'bad boys' maybe are more confident and abrasive and forward than the 'good guys,' and they end up intriguing a woman more as she is actually attracted to the excitement or unpredictability... But honestly, few women would say that they would prefer to end up with a jerk...

I would also venture to say that men tend to place more importance on physical attributes than women. I know that there have been studies on the role of humor and sexual attraction, and how humor is particularly attractive to women.

As for myself, the number one thing is the intangible chemistry... I also think scent is really important. The way a man smells matters greatly. I also do look for build and facial features... as I like lighter eyes, darker hair, a great smile. But if a man is confident, witty, and can hold a conversation, he becomes much more attractive (I have in the past found many different types of men attractive based more on personality... skinny, tall, shorter, chubbier, super athletic, hispanic, black, white, blonde, native american, etc etc.) Looks matter, but they're not the be all end all. They may initially attract, but they won't make something last.

[Dark Star]

Because, even on an internet forum, men feel self-conscious about admitting that they look for qualities in women other than big breasts and a hot figure. I think young men in particular find it very hard to have an adult discussion with eachother about what they look for in a partner.

It's all very immature.

Just throwing this out there...

My experience on 'mixed' forums (ones with a decent men to women ratio) is the opposite. Men I've met on forums (myself included) tend to feel uncomfortable discussing the physical attributes they find attractive because they're afraid of offending the women on the forum.

This forum is particularly bad, I've never heard anyone in real life do the whole "grr, women just want our walets!" tirade. Is this 2012, or 1952?

I agree largely with the sentiment behind this (women can have their own careers and thus don't need to bag a man for support), but I've actually heard 'they just want our wallets!' more often in real life than I have online. I suspect that this is because I live in a very 'southern' area (culturally) where it's not uncommon for women to become housewives by choice. I've known several men older men who wanted their wife to work but decided that they had to go along with her decision not to because it's a 'man's duty' to provide for his wife/family. This leads to some very embittered men several years down the road.

[Emil Miller]

Emil's gotta end his fixation with those little Chinese girls that he can boss around. He needs a woman more along these lines... and surely the "uniform" is one hell of a turn on.

Well I would never boss them around, in any case they are naturally compliant.
As for the Fräuleins I have been fortunate to have had some good times with them as well although they were more sedately attired than the popular male fantasy of them in Nazi uniform.
One of the police women I mentioned was involved in a confrontation with demonstrators in which she was hit by a stone. She told me that she had a large bruise on her thigh, but when I offered to kiss it better she said that if I carried on like that I might end up in handcuffs. Unfortunately she was only joking.

[JuniperWoolf]

Well I would never boss them around, in any case they are naturally compliant.

Are they really? The Asian women that I know would present the following rebuttal:



Your whole "yes, I just want a pretty little compliant geisha to wash my feet!" sentiment is a huge cliche, of comedic proportions. I've studied Japan quite a bit and I speak to Japanese people frequently (my best friend Sara was first-gen, I practically lived at her house until I was fourteen, and Japanese has always been my language and history option), and this is one of their main irritating cultural sterotypes - like how Canadians all live in igloos, British people have bad teeth, and Americans live on hamburgers. Apparently you're thinking matches pre-WWII Japan. You'd do well in Thailand though, there are Asian women there to cater to any fantasy.

I also work with four Philipinos in the office and six work in the next building, and trust me, that is in no way a culture which breeds docility. There's this one chick, her name is (I swear on my life) Muffin, and she's dropped hints that she's killed a guy.

[Emil Miller]

Are they really? The Asian women that I know would present the following rebuttal:



Your whole "yes, I just want a pretty little compliant geisha to wash my feet!" sentiment is a huge cliche, of comedic proportions. I've studied Japan quite a bit and I speak to Japanese people frequently (my best friend Sara was first-gen, I practically lived at her house until I was fourteen, and Japanese has always been my language and history option), and this is one of their main irritating cultural sterotypes - like how Canadians all live in igloos, British people have bad teeth, and Americans live on hamburgers. Apparently you're thinking matches pre-WWII Japan. You'd do well in Thailand though, there are Asian women there to cater to any fantasy, no matter how dated.

I also work with four Philipinos in the office and six work in the next building, and trust me, that is in no way a culture which breeds docility.

You obviously missed the emoticon.

[JuniperWoolf]

You obviously missed the emoticon.

Oh, you were being sarcastic? Sorry, that's always a problem online. This: - isn't the sarcasm emoticon, it's the satisfaction emoticon. This one is supposed to be: - but on litnet the smile is too wide so it looks more like a squee emoticon. So far I've found that footnotes work best, although apparently there's a font.

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

I guess it's odd for women to hear what guys really think.

This thread is not showing the male member's of this forum in a good light, at all.

Because, even on an internet forum, men feel self-conscious about admitting that they look for qualities in women other than big breasts and a hot figure. I think young men in particular find it very hard to have an adult discussion with eachother about what they look for in a partner.

It's all very immature.

Are you a man or a woman, Babyguile? I'm pretty sure you've claimed you're a woman, but in the gender poll you voted male.

[JuniperWoolf]

I guess it's odd for women to hear what guys really think.

Personally, I can't hear peoples' thoughts in general.

[stlukesguild]

Because, even on an internet forum, men feel self-conscious about admitting that they look for qualities in women other than big breasts and a hot figure. I think young men in particular find it very hard to have an adult discussion with eachother about what they look for in a partner.

It's all very immature.

The original question asked "What attracts you to another person FIRST?" In other words... "What initially grabs your attention?" I'll assume that most men look for qualities beyond the visual, physical attributes, but I also suspect that qualities such as "nice personality", "great sense of humor", "5 star cook", "likes animals", etc... are not something that can be immediately discerned... nor something that first catches the eye. It would seem to me that being honest as opposed to putting on a facade and pretending to be Mr. Sensitive is the exact opposite of "immature".

Hell, I'll admit that my wife's boobs were what first seriously grabbed my attention... and she'll say the same thing. She'll also admit that she fully made use of these attributes that she was blessed with wearing revealing, low-cut tops, etc... I doubt, however, that we would have lasted together as long as we have if that was the only attraction.

[Babyguile]

Because, even on an internet forum, men feel self-conscious about admitting that they look for qualities in women other than big breasts and a hot figure. I think young men in particular find it very hard to have an adult discussion with eachother about what they look for in a partner.

It's all very immature.

The original question asked "What attracts you to another person FIRST?" In other words... "What initially grabs your attention?" I'll assume that most men look for qualities beyond the visual, physical attributes, but I also suspect that qualities such as "nice personality", "great sense of humor", "5 star cook", "likes animals", etc... are not something that can be immediately discerned... nor something that first catches the eye. It would seem to me that being honest as opposed to putting on a facade and pretending to be Mr. Sensitive is the exact opposite of "immature".

Hell, I'll admit that my wife's boobs were what first seriously grabbed my attention... and she'll say the same thing. She'll also admit that she fully made use of these attributes that she was blessed with wearing revealing, low-cut tops, etc... I doubt, however, that we would have lasted together as long as we have if that was the only attraction.

Very well, but the discussion did evolve to something more general with everyone quoting eachother.

I guess it's odd for women to hear what guys really think.




Are you a man or a woman, Babyguile? I'm pretty sure you've claimed you're a woman, but in the gender poll you voted male.

I think people have just assumed that I was either one or the other.

[Mutatis-Mutandis]

So, which are you?