what attracts you first?

[TurquoiseSunset]

Maybe it's just me, but I've usually formed a pretty good impression of someone's intelligence within 10 seconds of meeting them!

I hope that's rare among the general populace. Helga mentioned being awkward around men, but I'm awkward around EVERYONE, even online, where anonymity is supposed to help with those things. I always have been and I don't know why that is. I don't get nervous and it's not about impressing them... I don't know.

Anyway, what I have noticed is that when I see a very handsome guy and he says something stupid or arrogant or anything that reflects negatively on his personality or intelligence, I don't find him as good looking anymore after that.

Overall I try to be open minded, because I know how difficult is to try and get the 'real me' across, heh.

[PoeticPassions]

Good old adage, "women should be seen but not heard", comes to mind...

It is rare not only in women but especially in men.

I quite agree. But it is definitely attractive and something that I notice as well...

[Lokasenna]

Lokasenna has moved beyond the mere attractions of the flesh that continue to seduce the rest of us. His ideal woman can weigh in at 375 pounds, have a wart at the end of her nose, a fake leg, and buck-teeth... but he looks beyond all that to the "inner-beauty" of her intellect.

For what it's worth, I harboured a fairly long crush on a girl who was damn near twice my weight. Looks are a bonus, sure, but I'm far more interested in abstract matters.

I hope that's rare among the general populace. Helga mentioned being awkward around men, but I'm awkward around EVERYONE, even online, where anonymity is supposed to help with those things. I always have been and I don't know why that is. I don't get nervous and it's not about impressing them... I don't know.

People can be awkward (I know I certainly am!), but that really is a completely different thing from having a quick mind. I don't know how, but somehow a person's intelligence communicates itself to me very quickly, sometimes before they've even opened their mouths. I'm not usually wrong, either.

[Sancho]

Depending on which theory you believe, there are a lot of different types of intelligence 7, 9, 12, who knows what they’re up to now. A snap judgment on somebody’s intelligence may (I’m using may because I really don’t know) be a reflection of your own intellectual strengths (and weaknesses). By and large, I do think we tend to prefer the company of others who think like us, but that’s getting a little off-topicy.

[tonywalt]

I think some of us - and I'm guilty of it as well - are attracted to our own kind of intelligence and outlook. Kindness to animals and children are a plus as well. Girls who dislike children are noticed by myself.

Also, I like girls who are washed and scrubbed before being brought to me - joking, kind of...

[Emil Miller]

I think some of us - and I'm guilty of it as well - are attracted to our own kind of intelligence and outlook. Kindness to animals and children are a plus as well. Girls who dislike children are noticed by myself.

Also, I like girls who are washed and scrubbed before being brought to me - joking, kind of...

You mean they are actually brought to you? Well I know there's a lot of wealth stashed away there but I didn't think that harems existed in the havens of shady money or niches fiscales as the French so delicately refer to them.

[MANICHAEAN]

West Indian mix up / mix up women that are a genetic cocktail of; African, Chinese, Indian & Europen. Unbelievable combinations!

[JuniperWoolf]

Agreed, this is the same as when women say that they want a man with a sense of humor, but in reality if they find a man they are attracted to they will consider him funny.

As a fan of both men and comedy, I can tell you that's not true at all. Most attractive men are as funny as taxes.

For me, it is the "quiet confidence"... Not to be confused with "arrogance".

Me, I love arrogance. Everyone else seems to hate conciet but I have no idea why. It's interesting, way more intersting than self-deprication.

[tonywalt]

West Indian mix up / mix up women that are a genetic cocktail of; African, Chinese, Indian & Europen. Unbelievable combinations!

True! One of the things I like here are the Europeans, mainly British, but other parts of the continent as well.

[Varenne Rodin]

Intelligence. I'm with Loka on this one. I can tell right away.

That being said, for me, the intelligence has to include an awareness of hygiene and composure. I would not be physically attracted to an obese person. I tend to like tall, slender guys. If a guy looks like a live version of Spike Spiegel, chances are I will think he's good looking. My preference here also comes from shorter guys expressing that they don't like that I'm taller than them (5'8"). I'm not interested in people who feel less confident when they stand next to me, and I like to wear heels.

I like women who are similar to me. Intelligent, beautiful, pretty lips, excellent breasts, feminine.

Oh, and I don't care about hair color, eye color or race. Why limit myself?

[qimissung]

I hope that's rare among the general populace. Helga mentioned being awkward around men, but I'm awkward around EVERYONE, even online, where anonymity is supposed to help with those things. I always have been and I don't know why that is. I don't get nervous and it's not about impressing them... I don't know.

Anyway, what I have noticed is that when I see a very handsome guy and he says something stupid or arrogant or anything that reflects negatively on his personality or intelligence, I don't find him as good looking anymore after that.

Overall I try to be open minded, because I know how difficult is to try and get the 'real me' across, heh.

This could have been written by me, TurquoiseSunset! I, too, try not to be judgemental because it takes awhile for people to know or understand me. Which is fine. I know me.

As far as men are concerned, theoretically the physical descriptions that Juniper mentioned I also find attractive. Beauty in it's abstract form is always appealing. In real life, the eyes have it, and after that, of course, character. Someone who's kind, thoughtful, intelligent, funny. Kind and funny go a long, long way with me. And it's a rarer combination than you might think.

[Buh4Bee]

A sense of humor, kindness, and tolerance for my inability to control myself. Intelligence is also necessary factor.

[Helga]

I hope that's rare among the general populace. Helga mentioned being awkward around men, but I'm awkward around EVERYONE, even online, where anonymity is supposed to help with those things. I always have been and I don't know why that is. I don't get nervous and it's not about impressing them... I don't know.

Anyway, what I have noticed is that when I see a very handsome guy and he says something stupid or arrogant or anything that reflects negatively on his personality or intelligence, I don't find him as good looking anymore after that.

Overall I try to be open minded, because I know how difficult is to try and get the 'real me' across, heh.

In general this is true about me too, but the thing is I avoid people and don't really talk to women or men, but if a man strikes up a conversation I get very nervous and awkward. Women never talk to me unless I know them so that isn't really a problem. I can't even order a pizza I get so nervous over the phone and just babble something.

I also agree with you that if a guy says something stupid he doesn't seem that attractive anymore. It also bugs me if they think they are sooo cool.

I don't really have a type anyway, I would just want someone with similar interests and thought on life. So a cool t-shirt is something that attracts my attention, a star trek or star wars quote, very cool.

[tonywalt]

Anyway, what I have noticed is that when I see a very handsome guy and he says something stupid or arrogant or anything that reflects negatively on his personality or intelligence, I don't find him as good looking anymore after that.

But look at it from the guys perspective. We kind of know we have to a 3 to 4 minute window and cannot say anything "stupid" or lame- in order to move past the introduction phase.(OK, it's my theory, but based on umpteen years of experience).

Even for confident guys, you can and will drop the ball and then BAM - you're out. Soooo, I'm not *****in about the laws of attraction- just leave a little wiggle room in the event the guy fumbles. It could just have been slip

[Buh4Bee]

Haha! This is why the bar scene sucks! I think the best way to "meet" someone is to just be able to have time with them as friends- then they'll get to know you whether or not you like it. Either it is or it isn't. Why try to hide the defects? Be with someone who is forgiving and accepts what you are in all your colors? No?