Father

[Delta40]

Y mae hedd yma iddo
strangled by the ivy,
he lies here in peace
and I don't need to comb his hair
into an Auntie Betty hairstyle.

Y mae hedd yma iddo
weather beaten and covered in moss,
he lies here in peace
and I don't need to hold his hand
when I cross the road.

Y mae hedd yma iddo
in the catacombs of my mind,
rest the skeletal remains
of a boy, a man, a father
and the shadow of a God.

[PoeticPassions]

Very nice poem, Delta. Quite sad, but serene. I recently lost my father, so this really struck a cord with me...

A question though.. what does 'Y mae hedd yma iddo' mean?

[smerdyakov]

Lovely Delts. Crisp, straight and all the more poignant for that. My favourite Lit-net poet you are. All the best

[MorpheusSandman]

I'm not sure what the refrain is supposed to mean either, but this is a lovely, restrained elegy made all the more poignant by its understatement. I love all of the subtle interplays of words, perhaps even there unintentionally, but it gives the poem a great sense of unity, which is important in such short lyrics.

[hallaig]

Peace be to him here? My Welsh is crap. Like this, particularly because 'the shadow of a God' bit leaves unresolved and interesting questions for the reader.

[Delta40]

I'm not sure what the refrain is supposed to mean either, but this is a lovely, restrained elegy made all the more poignant by its understatement. I love all of the subtle interplays of words, perhaps even there unintentionally, but it gives the poem a great sense of unity, which is important in such short lyrics.

It means he lies or rests here in peace. What do you mean by subtle interplay of words perhaps there unintentionally MS?

Smer - That's a lovely compliment indeed!

Hallaig - I agree!

[MorpheusSandman]

What do you mean by subtle interplay of words perhaps there unintentionally MS?

Just some examples:

"comb (his hair)" and "catacombs"
"comb" and "hold" (the assonance, almost a delayed rhyme, emphasized by the same syntactical pattern of "verb-possessive-pronoun-object", also connected because aliteration of "hair" and "hand")
"remains" VS "man" ("man" is contained within the word "remains," interrupted by the "I")
"strangled by the ivy" and "covered in moss"
"moss" and "cross (the road)"
Consonance of "need," "hold," "road," and "hand" that conclude with "shadow" and "God"
half-rhyme of "hand" and "mind"

All very subtly utilized to where it's not overbearing or sing-songy, but it's those kinds of phonological and linguistic connections that can give pieces a sense of unity that certain lesser poets ignore. Even when they're unintentional I think it's the mark of a poet that has an innately poetic intuition that generates these kind of motivic patterns. I don't know if you utilized them intentionally or not, but I don't think it matters either way because they're there, and how they got there is inconsequential.

[hallaig]

"comb" and "hold" (the assonance, almost a delayed rhyme, emphasized by the same syntactical pattern of "verb-possessive-pronoun-object", also connected because aliteration of "hair" and "hand")
"remains" VS "man" ("man" is contained within the word "remains," interrupted by the "I")

it's those kinds of phonological and linguistic connections that can give pieces a sense of unity that certain lesser poets ignore. Even when they're unintentional I think it's the mark of a poet that has an innately poetic intuition that generates these kind of motivic patterns.

My God Morpheus, what are you on?

"I want them to waterski
across the surface of a poem
waving at the author's name on the shore.

But all they want to do
is tie the poem to a chair with rope
and torture a confession out of it.

They begin beating it with a hose
to find out what it really means."

[MorpheusSandman]

My God Morpheus, what are you on?

The same thing that critics like Vendler and Ricks are on, I guess. You read them and you start to pick up on this stuff naturally. Unfortunately, they don't pay me to do it.

I'm not sure why you're quoting Billy Collins for, since pointing out qualities in a poem is hardly trying to beat out of it what it really means. It's just noting what it does. I detest the school of thought that treats poetry like crossword puzzles to be solved, but noting patterns and links and motifs and things that register on us subconsciously isn't enslaving the poetry to paraphrased meaning. I mean, the meaning of this poem is fairly simple, so what matters isn't what it means, but how it means. FWIW, I wasn't even going to mention those things because I felt that discussing such technicalities is a bit out of place in a poem like this that has such feeling behind it, but Delta DID ask what I meant, so I felt obliged to explain.

[Delta40]

Hey I'm still in the dark about what FWIW means! Are you sure it's an innate intuition of the poet and that intentional or not it's inconsequential? I mean personally, when I wrote the poem I thought Hawk might bust me on comb and catacombs! I understood my use of other words so far as structure went but not in the way you have. I'm still not sure about 'live' and whether it should be replaced with 'rest'. Given your analysis, MS it probably should be to complement lies and peace so I've edited it.

It's very interesting the way you have looked at the words MS yet Hallaigs response is also very interesting and I guess you both highlight a line which I dare not cross.

[miyako73]

I actually sang that foreign-sounding line to the tune of Enya. As usual, your images were the content. Your emotion gave them forms.

Hallaig, you now know what I meant. "remains" VS "man" ("man" is contained within the word "remains," interrupted by the "I")" Hehehehe.

Delta, please stop him while it's still early.

[Delta40]

Enya is Irish so I don't know what the Welsh would say about that Miyako

Thank you for your kind review.

[ShadowsCool]

Very lovely tribute Delta

[Delta40]

Thanks Shadows. It was my Father's anniversary yesterday.

[ShadowsCool]

Thanks Shadows. It was my Father's anniversary yesterday.

A beautiful tribute to him! Mine passed away a little over a year ago. Though I was never close to him. I can see you have fond remembrance of your dad. May he rest in peace and be taken in the arms of the Lord!