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Thread: Suipride

  1. #1
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    Suipride

    Trying to separate
    The mind from the brain

    And bounce my mind’s voice
    From any personal involvement

    This isn’t about you

    I’m sorry it had to come to this

    But I don’t know whether emotions are
    in the brain, or in the lava on my chest

    It does not matter though

    Because they failed me

    But so did the rope
    That precious burly rope

    And I KNOW
    That any man who tries twice
    Does not deserve to live

  2. #2
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    Is it clear that by "failed" I mean the rope broke?

  3. #3
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bewlay Brother View Post
    Is it clear that by "failed" I mean the rope broke?
    You've used the word failed in the following context:

    Because they failed me

    But so did the rope
    That precious burly rope

    So yes, it is quite clear and also that the rope broke twice given the closing lines. I don't think upper case (I KNOW) is required. It doesn't give any added effect to the statement. Personally, I'd be inclined to frame it as a question rather than a closing statement to accentuate the feeling of failure more than anything else.
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

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    Quote Originally Posted by Delta40 View Post
    You've used the word failed in the following context:

    Because they failed me

    But so did the rope
    That precious burly rope

    So yes, it is quite clear and also that the rope broke twice given the closing lines. I don't think upper case (I KNOW) is required. It doesn't give any added effect to the statement. Personally, I'd be inclined to frame it as a question rather than a closing statement to accentuate the feeling of failure more than anything else.
    Haha... it is a feeling of utter triumph at the end. He attempts suicide but when the strong rope inexplicably breaks, he knows it broke for a reason, and is ecstatic to give life another shot. (pun not intended)

  5. #5
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
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    Oh sorry. I missed the humour there!
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

  6. #6
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    That's a hell of a title. Kind of a hard thing to be proud of though.

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