The Comedy/Satire/Pun Poem Contest

[Pendragon]

MarkBastable's extraordinary pun poem on the Famous Quoted Line contest, had me thinking about a contest dealing with this type poem. YesNo seconded the motion, so I forthwith open the contest.

1) This contest will make use of a quote of some kind which must be worked into the poem, the more ridiculous, the better. Puns on the lines would be excellent. Sarcastic satire also welcome. Comedy of all types allowed, although I do ask you to keep vulgarity to a minimum, please.

2) Anyone can enter, only one winner, who must then give the line for the next contest, and judge said contest.

OK. The line is "Come to me my melancholy baby"

Great luck to ye all!

Pen

[YesNo]

Happy Girl

Come to me my melancholy baby.
Don't giggle so. I like you better sad
Especially when I am thinking, maybe,
Some other guy's the reason you're so glad.

[Calidore]

Edit: Never mind

[Calidore]

Sorry, this isn't comedy, but it wrote itself once I had the pun, so I need to put it down to get it out of my head.

You pushed into my heart and took control
Your beauty hid your malice 'til too late
You've come to be my hell, svengali lady
I hope it's not too tight inside that crate

[Pendragon]

Nice one, Cal! Just the type we're looking for! Think poets, then write!

[cacian]

come to me my melancholy baby
it never is what you think solemly
blindly,
rivetting tale I hear you say softly
it makes the world wants to jump wisely,
I never tire of catching you up sweetly
it is now or never I see you tread loudely
Nay, is one way of sobering up quickly
in case the drums you slump drive you wildely

[Pendragon]

I'll give this one until the 8th (My mother's birthday) Write poets! Write!

[jajdude]

He was a sad dog indeed
but old George loved him so
Tears of love expressed his need
Those tears of love would flow
Together they would sob for hours
I think this is the reason, maybe,
When calling for those lovely showers
He'd say, "Come to me my melon collie baby."

[Pendragon]

I know I said the 8th, Mama's birthday, but yesterday didn't go all that well...

Anyway:

The line was: "Come to me my melancholy baby."

Before I announce the winner, here's a pun poem of my own:

My cousin Collen and her husband Mel have a brand-new baby girl
The greenest eyes I have ever seen and red hair that falls in curls
They asked if I like to hold her, and although I'm not that baby savvy
I said "Come to me, my Mel and Collen's baby!"

I like the puns better than anything else, and here Calidore's epic line "You've come to be my hell, Svengali lady" cannot be improved upon. Congrats, Cal! You're up!

[Calidore]

Thanks! I'm happy to have won a contest, though apprehensive that I now have to judge poetry when I can barely write it.

Sorry about your mom's birthday, Pendragon. Hope her next is better.

Anyway, here's the next line: "Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?"

Looking forward to seeing what you all come up with. Above all, have fun!

[cacian]

Calidore congratulations on your win a well deserved one!
sorry to hear about your mother Pendragon. I hope all is well now.

[BookBeauty]

My congratulations to Calidore for the win.

Now, I realize that the quote given for this round is from Lord of the Rings... Or sounds like it. But I took this in a completely different direction, which I quite enjoyed. I hope that it fits into the requirements.

Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?

Preaches of virtue, and needless sin,
Shambling home with the scent of gin,
Wearing an insipid, dopey grin,

Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?

Could it be the philanthropist's song?
Ones that spends to right a wrong?
When ev'ry coin lands in the rich man's thong!

Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?

A surgeon will make the cleanest jut,
To see within the darkest gut,
But, went to school for a greater cut!

Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?

Could it be the poet's pen?
Who drives their passion from the fen,
To seek the cruelest of the ken?

Who knows what lurks in the hearts of men?

[Pendragon]

Bought some cans of spam that mysterious meat
Then I stopped to wonder about just what I was fixing to eat
Recycled meat compressed in the can--
Who knows what weevil lurks in the dark pink spam?

Pendragon (C) 2012

[Pendragon]

My congratulations to Calidore for the win.

Now, I realize that the quote given for this round is from Lord of the Rings... Or sounds like it. But I took this in a completely different direction, which I quite enjoyed. I hope that it fits into the requirements.

Actually, it is the Shadow Radio Program call line, along with the second: 'The weed of crime bears bitter fruit. Crime does not pay" Both lines were ended by the phrase: "The Shadow Knows!" followed by a very creepy laugh!

[Calidore]

Actually, it is the Shadow Radio Program call line, along with the second: 'The weed of crime bears bitter fruit. Crime does not pay" Both lines were ended by the phrase: "The Shadow Knows!" followed by a very creepy laugh!

Should be spoken by Orson Welles for best effect.