Haha!
J
Haha!
J
Originally Posted by Jack of Hearts
aw, the men of LitNet!
Top Tip No. 301 Never waken a sleeping Jack Russell.
This is off the internet, but is true. How my fingers have suffered since we got this dog.
Top Tip No. 302 Don't try using oven gloves if you happen to waking a sleeping Jack Russell. The flesh doesn't tear, but but the pain is just as crushing.
Top Tip No. 303 Don't get a Jack Russell.
Of course I jest - just in case my wife reads this about her little boy. Grrrr
Tip 304 - If you work in a place that has a kitchen, try your hardest to make the cooks like you, because if they hate you they WILL do disgusting things to your food.
I work with a few people who are hated by the cooks. It's strange, they have no idea why they keep getting sick...
__________________
"Personal note: When I was a little kid my mother told me not to stare into the sun. So once when I was six, I did. At first the brightness was overwhelming, but I had seen that before. I kept looking, forcing myself not to blink, and then the brightness began to dissolve. My pupils shrunk to pinholes and everything came into focus and for a moment I understood. The doctors didn't know if my eyes would ever heal."
-Pi
Tip 305 - Don't go out at dinner time and have omlette and chips in a local cafe when you have to go back to an office full of choccy bikkies and a meeting that included banoffee cheesecake.
Banoffee cheesecake - superb and irresistible........mmmmmmmoooooooaaaaaaaaaaaargh. .......guts.........
Tip 305 - When you're nearly 48, don't go jumping backwards off walls, like you might have done at one time, in order to rescue new looking bikes from the local brook. It is unlikely to end well.
( My jeans and coat are in the wash as we speak).
I say, Paul, your top tips always sound like a Mr. Bean movie!
"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its' own reason for existing." ~ Albert Einstein
"Remember, no matter where you go, there you are." Buckaroo Bonzai "Some people say I done alright for a girl." Melanie Safka
They do today. My daughter thinks my raison d'etre is to be an embarrassment to her.I say, Paul, your top tips always sound like a Mr. Bean movie!
My wife was just running through a list of who and when she will tell about the jumping off the wall episode. She thinks my Mother in Law will like it.
My stuff's in the drier now.
Tip 306: It is far better to enjoy what you enjoy and ignore other people.
Genius.
Tip 307: Stick to tea otherwise the coffee you drink might start making you feel wierd....again...
Tip 308: Don't bother with that typically British, stiff upper lip, I can get through this with plenty of lemon tea and paracetamol for breakfast attitude about going in to work sick. I did, thinking I would feel fine the next day, and then the next until I look back at days of snivels and headache, and realise I could have had a full week off!!!
Bah. Now I've only got the weekend to recover.
Ah, good tip I could have told you that though. I've just had the last three days off myself. That makes about 7 days sick this year already. That's a record.Tip 308: Don't bother with that typically British, stiff upper lip, I can get through this with plenty of lemon tea and paracetamol for breakfast attitude about going in to work sick. I did, thinking I would feel fine the next day, and then the next until I look back at days of snivels and headache, and realise I could have had a full week off!!!
Bah. Now I've only got the weekend to recover.
I like to think I'm tough - but for a whole week!!! My bravado exhausts me.
It's two or three years since I had any time off. The last time was with labyrinthitis - an inner ear infection that affects your balance. It makes you lurch about like a drunken man, which would be interesting except you feel vomity with it.
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