Buying through this banner helps support the forum!
Page 366 of 469 FirstFirst ... 266316356361362363364365366367368369370371376416466 ... LastLast
Results 5,476 to 5,490 of 7033

Thread: Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

  1. #5476
    Registered User jocky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    The Simpsons Treehouse. Duh
    Posts
    770
    Blog Entries
    2
    A poor excuse of a Shakespearian sonnet for the xmas play.

    Ahem! :

    The wind doth blast up in the north
    where yon Scot sits all of a quiver.
    The Yuletide play draws quickly forth
    shouldst he throw himself into the river.
    Quills are sharp and the wits are keen
    forsooth he must anon hie hence
    O'er the festive days he must not be seen
    and must o'erleap the snow clad fence.
    The wits do gnaw and worry at his bones
    and yon sands of time they do ship faster
    Winter storms doth drowneth out his groans
    of his own self he is no longer master.

    Alas poor Jocky accepts his sure fate
    to end up like Feste outside the gate.
    Last edited by jocky; 11-01-2011 at 02:56 PM.
    " There are few more impressive sights in the world than a Scotsman on the make. "

  2. #5477
    Registered User prendrelemick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Yorkshire
    Posts
    4,871
    Blog Entries
    29
    Merry Christmas Jocky
    ay up

  3. #5478
    The Lost One Wanders LostPrincess13's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Philippines
    Posts
    485
    Blog Entries
    1
    Enjoy the boo-ooze gentlemen! Happy Halloween!
    CARPE DIEM! Seize the day! Make your lives extraordinary!
    -Dead Poets' Society


    I SWEAR, BY MY LIFE AND MY LOVE OF IT, THAT I WILL NEVER LIVE FOR THE SAKE OF ANOTHER MAN, NOR ASK ANOTHER MAN TO LIVE FOR MINE.
    - John Galt, Atlas Shrugged

  4. #5479
    sound of music soundofmusic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    florida
    Posts
    1,547
    Oh my, I see I have been replaced by a beautiful young princess...Men. I had just come by to see if I was missed

  5. #5480
    Registered User jocky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    The Simpsons Treehouse. Duh
    Posts
    770
    Blog Entries
    2
    Quote Originally Posted by soundofmusic View Post
    Oh my, I see I have been replaced by a beautiful young princess...Men. I had just come by to see if I was missed
    It goes without saying, welcome back Soundo.
    " There are few more impressive sights in the world than a Scotsman on the make. "

  6. #5481
    TobeFrank Paulclem's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Coventry, West Midlands
    Posts
    6,363
    Blog Entries
    36
    Quote Originally Posted by soundofmusic View Post
    Oh my, I see I have been replaced by a beautiful young princess...Men. I had just come by to see if I was missed
    Of course you were missed. We were all concerned.

    You're just in time to see the germination of the Blokes Xmas anthology which has been startedalready by the looks of things.

  7. #5482
    Clinging to Douvres rocks Gilliatt Gurgle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    2,716
    Quote Originally Posted by LostPrincess13 View Post
    Enjoy the boo-ooze gentlemen! Happy Halloween!
    Quote Originally Posted by soundofmusic View Post
    Oh my, I see I have been replaced by a beautiful young princess...Men. I had just come by to see if I was missed
    Welcome back...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYFwkpNQbxU


    Quote Originally Posted by Abookinthebath View Post
    Is Tom Hicks still the owner of the Rangers?
    Were you given a proper welcome?
    Parker will fix you up with something to ease your pain.


    Quote Originally Posted by jocky View Post
    A poor excuse of a Shakespearian sonnet for the xmas play.

    Ahem! :

    The wind doth blast up in the north
    where yon Scot sits all of a quiver.
    The Yuletide play draws quickly forth
    shouldst he throw himself into the river.
    Quills are sharp and the wits are keen
    forsooth he must anon hie hence
    O'er the festive days he must not be seen
    and must o'erleap the snow clad fence.
    The wits do gnaw and worry at his bones
    and yon sands of time they do ship faster
    Winter storms doth drowneth out his groans
    of his own self he is no longer master.

    Alas poor Jocky accepts his sure fate
    to end up like Feste outside the gate.
    I'm speechless. That's brilliant. That overrated bard from Tuscany couldn't hold a candle up to you.

    Here's what we have so far leading up to Jocky's gem above:

    Yes there are two sheds you can go buy
    But in the long run
    It still pays to get a third one on …PC

    ------

    Thieving dogs
    Prince Charles' Jack Russels
    Satanic Sheds - Led Zeppellin's original name
    A case of Highland envy - shedwise
    An annoying neighbour
    Mystical levitating albums
    A proposal for this year's Blokes Thread Play
    Sounds drinking habits/ potato cheese dishes/ the trouble with chianti/ a welcome/ a request for an illicit substance's recipe/ the Miami demographic/ careers advice
    Testicle Tape - Ill never forget
    A telling off/ un-PC ness/ a realisation
    Specualtion about a relocation/ praise for the qualities of wives
    A tip for using Testicle tape...PC
    ------
    If you can't sleep, you can try,
    The curmudgeon's lullaby,
    Thats gin and orange and whisky rye,
    Soon golden slumbers close your eye.

    And golden dreams can then begin,
    Of you and Steffi, and her twin?
    And Parker comes and tucks you in,
    And wipes the gin from off your chin,… P

    ----

    There was a farmer who drank horlicks
    who kept measuring his prized rams b......s
    Till his missus said to he
    you are not seeing to me
    but Old Seth the farm hand makes me rollicks. Boom Boom… J

    -----

    Is that old Brummie weather-lore?

    When gulls do croi above the green,
    A frost will next be seen.

    When they return unto the cowst,
    Cast your clout or yow will rowst….P

    -------

    The dangers of following the Rangers
    Cannot be known by strangers.
    Your hair you'll pull out
    At the Umpire's shout
    You'll boo and you'll hiss
    At a swing and a miss
    you'll shout and cheer
    And drink too much beer
    And your hopes, they be fecund
    Then you finish second.

    Tis the basest of ball
    That has you in thrall.
    A game that so confounds us,
    I think I'll stick to Rounders. ……….P

    ----
    "Mongo only pawn in game of life" - Mongo

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKRma7PDW10

  8. #5483
    Registered User prendrelemick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Yorkshire
    Posts
    4,871
    Blog Entries
    29
    Quote Originally Posted by soundofmusic View Post
    Oh my, I see I have been replaced by a beautiful young princess...Men. I had just come by to see if I was missed

    And you are...?


    Only kidding, we've missed your wit, your insight, and your fragrant presence.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle View Post
    Welcome back...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYFwkpNQbxU




    Were you given a proper welcome?
    Parker will fix you up with something to ease your pain.




    I'm speechless. That's brilliant. That overrated bard from Tuscany couldn't hold a candle up to you.

    Here's what we have so far leading up to Jocky's gem above:

    Yes there are two sheds you can go buy
    But in the long run
    It still pays to get a third one on …PC

    ------

    Thieving dogs
    Prince Charles' Jack Russels
    Satanic Sheds - Led Zeppellin's original name
    A case of Highland envy - shedwise
    An annoying neighbour
    Mystical levitating albums
    A proposal for this year's Blokes Thread Play
    Sounds drinking habits/ potato cheese dishes/ the trouble with chianti/ a welcome/ a request for an illicit substance's recipe/ the Miami demographic/ careers advice
    Testicle Tape - Ill never forget
    A telling off/ un-PC ness/ a realisation
    Specualtion about a relocation/ praise for the qualities of wives
    A tip for using Testicle tape...PC
    ------
    If you can't sleep, you can try,
    The curmudgeon's lullaby,
    Thats gin and orange and whisky rye,
    Soon golden slumbers close your eye.

    And golden dreams can then begin,
    Of you and Steffi, and her twin?
    And Parker comes and tucks you in,
    And wipes the gin from off your chin,… P

    ----

    There was a farmer who drank horlicks
    who kept measuring his prized rams b......s
    Till his missus said to he
    you are not seeing to me
    but Old Seth the farm hand makes me rollicks. Boom Boom… J

    -----

    Is that old Brummie weather-lore?

    When gulls do croi above the green,
    A frost will next be seen.

    When they return unto the cowst,
    Cast your clout or yow will rowst….P

    -------

    The dangers of following the Rangers
    Cannot be known by strangers.
    Your hair you'll pull out
    At the Umpire's shout
    You'll boo and you'll hiss
    At a swing and a miss
    you'll shout and cheer
    And drink too much beer
    And your hopes, they be fecund
    Then you finish second.

    Tis the basest of ball
    That has you in thrall.
    A game that so confounds us,
    I think I'll stick to Rounders. ……….P

    ----

    Hmm.. please feel free to to cut, edit or generally improve anything of mine in there.
    ay up

  9. #5484
    Registered User jocky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    The Simpsons Treehouse. Duh
    Posts
    770
    Blog Entries
    2
    Quote Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle View Post




    Were you given a proper welcome?
    Parker will fix you up with something to ease your pain.






    ----
    Welcome aboard Abookinthebath, we can't keep calling you that , I will end up with repetitive strain syndrome on my typing finger. A word of friendly advice, when you enter the Cold Ale Lounge keep your paws off the Doritos and the bottle of Glenmorangie on the shelf next to the dartboard, they are mine.

    Gilliatt once you have touched up Mick's parts we are on our way to Broadway, or should that be Broadmoor ? :

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1ZYhVpdXbQ
    " There are few more impressive sights in the world than a Scotsman on the make. "

  10. #5485
    Account closed.
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    228
    Quote Originally Posted by jocky View Post
    Welcome aboard Abookinthebath, we can't keep calling you that , I will end up with repetitive strain syndrome on my typing finger. A word of friendly advice, when you enter the Cold Ale Lounge keep your paws off the Doritos and the bottle of Glenmorangie on the shelf next to the dartboard, they are mine.
    Cheers Jocky. Bath will do, should avoid the RSI! Yes, I will give the whisky a wide berth (well, until all the beer is gone, in any case!).

  11. #5486
    Tralfamadorian Big Dante's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    493
    Quote Originally Posted by Abookinthebath View Post
    Cheers Jocky. Bath will do, should avoid the RSI! Yes, I will give the whisky a wide berth (well, until all the beer is gone, in any case!).
    Need to spice things up a bit. Bath may not cut it. Possibly The Bath Lord? Or the common add a 'y' rule when making a nickname. Bathy.

  12. #5487
    www.markbastable.co.uk
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    London
    Posts
    3,447
    'Tub'? Or, better yet, 'Tubbs'?
    Last edited by MarkBastable; 11-03-2011 at 06:19 AM.

  13. #5488
    Registered User prendrelemick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Yorkshire
    Posts
    4,871
    Blog Entries
    29
    Or initally, A bit B
    ay up

  14. #5489
    Just another nerd RobinHood3000's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Posts
    7,675
    Blog Entries
    26
    Still don't drink, but I'll raise a glass of cranberry juice to everyone anyways. =)
    Por una cabeza
    Si ella me olvida
    Qué importa perderme
    Mil veces la vida
    Para qué vivir

  15. #5490
    Tralfamadorian Big Dante's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    493
    Quote Originally Posted by MarkBastable View Post
    'Tub'? Or, better yet, 'Tubbs'?
    Tubbs it is.

Similar Threads

  1. The "I Hate Shakespeare" Thread.
    By The Atheist in forum Shakespeare, William
    Replies: 115
    Last Post: 03-02-2014, 04:00 PM
  2. What makes a good thread?
    By Lioness_Heart in forum General Chat
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 02-08-2010, 09:54 PM
  3. LitNet FAQ Index:
    By Logos in forum The Literature Network
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 04-28-2009, 08:52 AM
  4. The Lit. Net Rate-A-Day Thread
    By misterlit in forum General Literature
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 09-09-2008, 08:59 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •