World War Two Historical Fiction: Arizona I remember you

[kangels4ever]

(Note: I need to reduce this post to an excerpt because one of the magazines I sent this to says they won't take stuff already available on the web. Sorry.)

December 7th, 1941
USS Enterprise (CV-6), 150 miles west of the Hawaiian Islands

SBD Dauntlesses shot down the olive drab-stained deck as the rising sun caressed the flight deck in its golden rays, each plane watched by eyes hidden beneath a craggy brow; Admiral Bill Halsey’s brow. The boss away up on the open flag bridge looking on with pride in his heart as each pilot from Scouting and Bombing Six throttled up, awaited their turn, then charged down the deck at the drop of a check-ered flag like birds freed from their cage.

All SBD’s save the one assigned to escort air group commander Howard Young on his direct flight into Pearl Harbor joined up on air group commander Halstead Hopping as they circled the task force, looking to Halsey from his perch below like a flock of blue steel geese with multicolored stars on their wings, almost lost in the cobalt blue sky save for their grey underbellies.

Launch complete, the covey then split up into groups of two, each headed for search sectors sketched out in pencil on their pilot’s plot boards.

The Japanese still had not yet declared war, which meant the Enterprise’s recent sortie to deliver a Marine fighter squadron to Wake Atoll had been a milk run, but even this close to home Halsey was not taking chances.

[kangels4ever]

I hate to "bump" this (a no-no at some boards), but I want to say for those who are curious that the text keeps changing since my inital post because I am dilligently proofreading this and want its preview here to reflect that.

[hillwalker]

Not my preferred genre - I have an aversion to anything remotely historical or based on real events - so I'm unable to comment, except to applaud the effort you have obviously put into this.

H

[Delta40]

I would suggest you edit the format in which you have posted - one big blog of words. A story needs to be broken up into paragraphs for readability and I'm sure this will help. As for the content, I'm sure some will enjoy it. Others will be hurt too.

[kangels4ever]

Delta40-

How can I paragraph this properly without butchering the story flow?

[hillwalker]

Delta40-

How can I paragraph this properly without butchering the story flow?

I think Delta means line spacing between every paragraph.

Like this.

It makes it easier to read on a compter screen.

Probably not the astute critique you were hoping for - but if people can't read it they're never going to comment.

H

[cafolini]

I can read it. It's pretty neat. But I am a historian and I fill the gaps. It's probably very difficult stuff for most people here. Most people don't realize how meaninful this stuff was.

[kangels4ever]

@cafolini

Thanks for your kind comments.
As far as the "gaps" are concerned, remember, this is a work of historical fiction, not a non-fiction article for, say, World War Two magazine which could go into more detail.
I did make sure to include a brief summary of the passage of time in between Pearl and Midway so readers would not be lost in the time jump. Beyond that, the dictates of the genre mean I must risk readers not getting how meaningful the events depicted are (sad as that is). Folks will get out of it what they will. I'm not an artist obsessed with putting in "messages" to get across like some supposedly try to do. I just want to tell a story I find gripping and share it with others like the story of this real-life person.

[Delta40]

So let me get this right when I write about the comaraderie between Bin Laden's men coupled with bringing down the twin towers as a historical piece on blowing all those *&^% yanks into kingdom come, you'd write 'great piece and an accurate reflection of history!'

All you have done is recite an event doused in thick American patriotism as a way to insult Japanese people and have the audacity to say how sad it is that the reader cannot appreciate the meaningfulness where I suspect what you're actually saying is that people can't appreciate how meaningful this event it is to you.

Keep in mind that the meaning of any event is in the mind, heart and eye of the beholder.

[kangels4ever]

@Delta40:

I knew people would be upset about my depictions of WWII in the Pacific, especially how the Americans felt about the Japanese then.

Here's the deal why I do it the way I do:

My depictions of the feelings of Lt. Gallaher are not patriotic. Rather, I based them off something I discovered by pure chance on Memorial Day in 2005 when I had the honor of going to lunch with members of my local Pearl Harbor Survivor's Association chapter.

When I asked one of the survivors -who had escaped the USS Oklahoma- what his feelings were about the Japanese, he told me he still hated them. At least two other survivors at my table nodded in agreement.

Riding the light rail train home, I couldn't help but reflect on how deep trauma can hurt people.

Would you rather I have done what Hollywood did ten years ago, shove a dumb romance into the story of Pearl Harbor in a rip off of "From Here To Eternity"? What those survivors brought home to me that day was how violent a trauma it was.

I based Lt. Gallaher's emotions in part off of what he told author John Toland in the book mentioned at the end of my inital post, the rest off of what those survivors who still hated the Japanese revealed to me at that lunch: not a man who had gotten caught by that surprise attack came out with love in their hearts for their enemy. Yes, some survivors after the war made amends, but many still have not nor ever will. And it would have been phony of me to instead have had, say, the Americans greet the Japanese at Midway singing "Kumbaya" without a shot fired. Especially from the likes of Pearl Harbor survivors like Lt. Gallaher who fought hard that day.

If you ask me, next time before you go off yelling about dramatic depictions of WWII in the Pacific that would "insult Japanese people", try talking to one of the soldiers, sailors, and Marines who had to fight them. Especially of said warriors had been at Pearl Harbor on December 7th, 1941.

And by the way: your comment about me probably writing something complimentary of Bin Laden's butchery at the Twin Towers was, in my opinion, mean spirited and uncalled for.

[Delta40]

Look I appreciate your reply. My friends late father fought in WWII and hated the Japanese till his dying breath. I understand that perfectly. If I remember correctly, historically the only good Jap was a dead one so what's the difference when an Iraqi says the only good American is a dead one?

I won't take back what I said about the twin towers because it's true that a multitude of people throughout the world hail those men as heroes and will also hate Americans till their dying breath. Are you going to deny that fact?

It's ok for us to disagree on this. You are most welcome to your view and I am equally welcome to mine. It really isn't worth debating.

I look forward to reading more of your stories in the future.

[kangels4ever]

Well, I am an American I would not ever cheer what happened at the WTC and am glad, glad, gald Bin Laden is dead.

Thank you for your clarifying post, and I withdraw my "mean spirited" comment related to your WTC post.

I too look forward to reading your stories in the future. :-)

[Delta40]

Let's be friends!

[kangels4ever]

Well she's all done! Wish me luck getting this published, my friends. :-)

[Delta40]

Good Luck Kangels. I'm always glad to hear when someone gets published and you must let us know how you go.

Fingers crossed for you :-)