Was that me who said that? If not, I wish it was.Originally Posted by Emil Miller
Was that me who said that? If not, I wish it was.
A gentleman never tells.
"L'art de la statistique est de tirer des conclusions erronèes a partir de chiffres exacts." Napoléon Bonaparte.
"Je crois que beaucoup de gens sont dans cet état d’esprit: au fond, ils ne sentent pas concernés par l’Histoire. Mais pourtant, de temps à autre, l’Histoire pose sa main sur eux." Michel Houellebecq.
That whooshing sound you just heard was the point going right over your head.
From a recent thread. I put it up in my Basil Fawlty store of sarcastic remarks to be used when some future opportunity arises. A Classic by Markbastable.
Mrs Jocky is being difficult again. It all began late on Sunday evening as I walked unsteadily up our front path belting out the Halleluja Chorus from Handel's Messiah. There she was silhouetted in the front doorway in what I can only describe as a warlike
pose.
"Where the hell have you been?"
I have been at Evensong.
"Evensong! You have never seen the inside of a church since the day we got married, you even refused to have our kids Christened."
Aye, but this was different they had a free communion wine tasting.
"If I find out you have been down at the Curmudgeons with that bunch of wasters from the Cold Ale Thread it will be the sofa for you for the forseeable future."
Let me past darling I think I am going to throw up.
One episode of many from the Cold Ale Thread. Superb.
"That whooshing sound you just heard was the point going right over your head."
And there was me thinking it was a peregrine...
This Musicology spoof made me laugh. (I don't know how to do the pictures of flat plains)
Contrary to modern science, the earth is flat. I know this. I am smarter than all of you. I use abbriations like lol to prove this fact to all of you idiots. And I like to use big words. They are fun.
Here are some pictures I took to prove my point:
As you can see the earth has no curvature. Especially in the one of me riding a horse. When you look at that picture don't you feel small and pathetic in my mighty wisdom?
Thank you. You are all stupid.
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This post is by the one who can use the word "naughty" more effectively than anyone else on earth!
OBJECTION! Ending with a preposition is naughty - the grammar pixies will be displeased!
I thought at first it might've been me. But my post went a little differently.
Here's another that I now recall with the realization that while it might jokingly apply to more than a few LitNetters, it has the ring of truth in this instance.
Well I cannot accept that I am dangerous. When they assessed me, they didn't even bother to examine my ethics; they just said, Here's another one, and threw me in the looney bin.
"L'art de la statistique est de tirer des conclusions erronèes a partir de chiffres exacts." Napoléon Bonaparte.
"Je crois que beaucoup de gens sont dans cet état d’esprit: au fond, ils ne sentent pas concernés par l’Histoire. Mais pourtant, de temps à autre, l’Histoire pose sa main sur eux." Michel Houellebecq.
Remember this one?:
"Chemtrail Flights Radio Tracked in England
I post this because the people of England are fed up with dozens, hundreds of planes dropping material in trails above populated areas every day. For years. With absolutely no public admission of them taking place. These flights are seen daily with the exception of a few days ago when flights were banned over British airspace because of the Icelandic volcano dust. The mass media simply refuse to acknowledge the fact of it. A number of British people are determined the public should see this. Here is one of the first attempts to monitor radio communications as these flights take place."
Those were glorious times.
.
Hardly original. I've used variations of that same quip for years. Still, I'm probably just bitter that it was me the comment was directed at.
This doesn't articulate a philosophy (or does it?), but here's something I laughed at...
" So this girl walks into a 7-11, right?, and buys a bag of Doritos and a 20oz bottle of Pepsi. She takes them up to the counter and lays them down and the cashier looks at her and says, 'so, you're single?'. The girl pauses and then says to him, 'how did you know?'. The cashier replies, 'because you're ugly!'
*BUDDUM SCHH!*
Thank you. Keep 'em coming!" - abdo rinbo
I wasn't going to mention that Mutatis - it's nothing personal. I'd have laughed if he'd directed it at Ghandi.
It was very cool. I used that quote as my signature for a time, as it satisfied my desire to have a siggy that was both epigrammatic and yet completely bonkers at the same time.
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"If it is honorable for you to disturb the dead, I shall consider it an honor and will make it my ambition to disturb your living." - Captain Miles Hazzard
"...I then, at age 11, cast off my lust from myself, and never had an agnostic moment ever again. It was because I now peacably knew GOD to be real that I had no room in my heart for an empty existence apart from HIM. In a short time, I had such Faith in HIM, that, when my little sister's tongue split upon falling against something, after initially freaking out over all the blood she was choking on, suddenly decided not to call an ambulance, and believed she would be healed at once by GOD.
"I placed my hand upon the little toddler, commanded her tongue to go back together at once, in the NAME of JESUS CHRIST, begged the HEAVENLY FATHER to please make this work right away, and recited the Words from Isaiah the Prophet, "By HIS Stripes we are healed". I didn't see at first that it had worked. I turned in disappointment and was intent on rushing into another room to shout at GOD in great anger for not honoring the Faith that told me a Healing was meant then to occur. I had only taken steps about a meter away when suddenly the loud voices in the room took on a new ambience of emotion. I turned quickly to see what I had just sensed, and everyone were shouting for Joy, no longer in a panick. The baby's tongue was no longer injured, and the others excitedly told me they had seen the tongue while it mended!"
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"If it is honorable for you to disturb the dead, I shall consider it an honor and will make it my ambition to disturb your living." - Captain Miles Hazzard
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