Picture Poetry Contest (...continued...)

[jajdude]

Will try to contribute soon. Picture had me thinking Poe.

[Jack of Hearts]

Good Lieutenant, you're in the earth now,
I brought two dollar wine up, for what it's worth now.
Nevermind the sonuva***** infront of you,
who tries to drink it down.

And who does you this kindness?
Tell me, who could it be?
On the glass, slim fingerprints of a lover?
or maybe that sonuva*****, Henry,
buried with no wedding ring
because he solved a mystery.

Good Lieutenant, you're in the earth now.
Oh my good lieutenant, in the hearth how
hungeredly fire eats white day photos
of Henry standing next to your lover,
who leaves tears two-times in dirty ground.

[Dark Muse]

Thanks to those who have entered thus far and just to remind you deadline is in a couple of days!

[Dark Muse]

I want to thank you all who entered. As always I enjoyed reading your works and it was a tough job choosing a winner but without further delay here goes:

breathest: A very moving poem which creates quite a vivid picture. When I first started reading I was concerned that it felt a bit too much like a literal description of the picture but than those last lines really made them poem and was beautifully done.

YesNo: I thought this created some lovely imagery. I really liked the concept of the poem, and the fact that it had a touch of playfulness to it and there was just a great atmosphere. The opening and closing lines I thought were quite well done and really gave the poem a nice rounded feeling.

Pendragon: I liked the fact that you took a bit of a different perspective on the picture. Your poem really had a very somber tone to it with a touch of regret, and the lamenting tone of this poem really brought that feeling of absence through. There were some very beautiful lines. I particularly really liked "Of some remembered soul so good and so brave" I also thought this line was beautifully stated "The grass is uncut, there's a tone of neglect"

moonbird: I just loved the opening lines of this poem:

i went to the graveyard today
to see my husband
who'd lived for the bottle
loved it like a child

That really caught my attention from the start and I did really like the direction in which you took the poem. How you did focus more upon creating a story around the individual in the grave and the life they may have had. I enjoyed your unique approach, but in the middle chunk of your poem it began to read like a run on sentence which broke the flow of the poem and well made it hard to read all in one breath and grasp what was being said.

Jack of Hearts: I loved the start of this poem and I thought that there was some beautiful writing there was something about it that was quite compelling and kept my attention yet at the same time there was also a baffling aspect of it. I am left feeling like there is something I am missing or do not quite understand. I am not sure I grasp the full meaning of the poem and just what is really being conveyed.

But the winner goes to


mazHur: I loved the tone and concept of your poem which I think most reflects my own personal thoughts. The way in which you embrace the idea that it can be a joyous occasion and a celebration and that it need not necessarily be strictly a solemn affair. I like that uplifting feeling which the poem leaves at the end, and that wish expressed from beyond the grave that those left behind continue to enjoy life. I also though you had a very good use of rhyme and there were some great lines expressed.

[mazHur]

I want to thank you all who entered. As always I enjoyed reading your works and it was a tough job choosing a winner but without further delay here goes:

breathest: A very moving poem which creates quite a vivid picture. When I first started reading I was concerned that it felt a bit too much like a literal description of the picture but than those last lines really made them poem and was beautifully done.

YesNo: I thought this created some lovely imagery. I really liked the concept of the poem, and the fact that it had a touch of playfulness to it and there was just a great atmosphere. The opening and closing lines I thought were quite well done and really gave the poem a nice rounded feeling.

Pendragon: I liked the fact that you took a bit of a different perspective on the picture. Your poem really had a very somber tone to it with a touch of regret, and the lamenting tone of this poem really brought that feeling of absence through. There were some very beautiful lines. I particularly really liked "Of some remembered soul so good and so brave" I also thought this line was beautifully stated "The grass is uncut, there's a tone of neglect"

moonbird: I just loved the opening lines of this poem:

i went to the graveyard today
to see my husband
who'd lived for the bottle
loved it like a child

That really caught my attention from the start and I did really like the direction in which you took the poem. How you did focus more upon creating a story around the individual in the grave and the life they may have had. I enjoyed your unique approach, but in the middle chunk of your poem it began to read like a run on sentence which broke the flow of the poem and well made it hard to read all in one breath and grasp what was being said.

Jack of Hearts: I loved the start of this poem and I thought that there was some beautiful writing there was something about it that was quite compelling and kept my attention yet at the same time there was also a baffling aspect of it. I am left feeling like there is something I am missing or do not quite understand. I am not sure I grasp the full meaning of the poem and just what is really being conveyed.

But the winner goes to


mazHur: I loved the tone and concept of your poem which I think most reflects my own personal thoughts. The way in which you embrace the idea that it can be a joyous occasion and a celebration and that it need not necessarily be strictly a solemn affair. I like that uplifting feeling which the poem leaves at the end, and that wish expressed from beyond the grave that those left behind continue to enjoy life. I also though you had a very good use of rhyme and there were some great lines expressed.

Thank you, DarkMuse, for liking my poem and declaring me the winner!!
I borrowed the basic idea for the poem from the life and works of the great Persian poet Hafiz Shirazi.......... it is said that even today the grave of Hafiz (in Iran) smacks of wine which is poured by his visiting admirers as a token of their love for him!!

regards/Maz

here is the next picture..

[moonbird]

Way to go, mazHur! Would there be a larger version of the picture available anywhere?

[mazHur]

I hope this size image works better....sorry can't do it more Please zoom in manually for a larger size!!

[YesNo]

Shopping

Her hands are resting on her hips.
She imitates the ad.
Those clothes would wear as well on her.
The color's not half bad.

[Pendragon]

Congrads, Maz, and thanks for your kind comment on my own poem. True sportsmanship! I gotta think about this picture for a while. Hummmmmm.....

[blithe spirit]

As florescent lights wash the room
draining color from her flesh like a blotter
pale are her clothes in shades of gray doom
reflective of her life grown somber.

Time and seasons of change meet technology
transformed images via remote control
Make-over's image, a stark dichotomy
Lady in Red begins her new life untold

[Dark Muse]

The Body Factory

Come one
come all,
step right up
haven't you heard
the latest word?

No longer
need we be confined
to the whims of nature's
design, take charge
upon our assembly line.

Pick the perfect body
any shape or size,
settle not for what you have
got when its in your
power to make adjustment
as easy as the push
of the button.

Want longer legs
bluer eyes,
unhappy with your
skin tone,
you can choose
to be darker,
lighter, or why
stop there,
impress your friends
with a hot pink tan,
be the talk of the party.

We have hair
galore, anything you like
just point and click,
and don't forget
to accessorize,
it is all the rage.

Why bother
to diet when
all you need do
is crop your waist
line, downsize,
realign, and
upload, you're
ready to go.

So come one
come all
don't be shy
you can have it all,
as perfect as a plastic doll
a package deal,
all for one reasonable price
read our testimonials,
try our 30 day free tail,
satisfaction guaranteed
we will even give you
a 5 year warranty.

[tailor STATELY]

The It Girl

Barbie doll figures; pinup fashions
Wear your hair the way Di wore it
(snigger) "Before she died, dah-ling"
Parading peahens ever preening
Unique clones pressed from plastic
Hoarfrost and bittersweet lives

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

[Pendragon]

The reflection in the mirror
Doesn't show what it should show
Is there something about that red dress
That the rest of us should know?
Does the reflection show us dreams
Instead of just the way things are?
Are they moments from the future
Coming to us from afar?
I think we all should think about
What our reflections show
Before we just follow Alice
Down some endless rabbit hole...

Pendragon
1/1/2011

[Pendragon]

Where is MaZhur? Surely this contest has ended now! Judge, please! Uh, Your Honor?

[mazHur]

YesNo---good extempore ditty but rather away from the theme!

blithe spirit:-- thoughts very nicely put in two stanzas...quite extempore as well.

Dark Muse: very nice poem truly depicting the idea behind the picture. However, a bit long...and spread into stanzas of unequal length.


tailor STATELY:: not a bad attempt at all!! I liked it!!
Pendragon: well put but last line not worked properly. It could have been made to rhyme with the preceding word, show, such as

Down an endless bunny burrow!!!

I think we all should think about
What our reflections show
Before we just follow Alice
Down some endless rabbit hole...

Considering all aspects of the poems submitted I think Pen has done comparatively better and he deserves to be the Winner!!!
Thanks to all for submitting their beautiful poesy and keeping this thread alive.
I am sorry for delayed result.
Congrats, Pen!!