Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

I can't do that unfortunately. I snore like a ram on the rampage, or rather I'm told i do. I have seen no evidence of the truth of the statement just the results of the claim which is sore ribs and back of a morning. (Mrs Paulclem is intolerant of snoring. Either that or she needs an excuse for prone, small hours boxercise).

Funny!
I've had a few of those night time assaults as well some due to snoring, but the worst beatings result from unintended "dutch ovens".

...I believe that my phone may have been hacked by News International and that Rebekah Brooks has ordered her private investigators to get me. It is one thing to reveal all my grubby secrets on the Cold Ale thread but quite another to have me and Mrs Jockys telephone rows splashed all over the News of the World. I am just relieved that Bartok and Turncoat have fled the country for the sanctuary of Roswell.

Haha!
Not to worry Jocky. Just hold on a few more days until the 8th and all will be revealed in Roswell. Cell signals will be scrambled, genetically altered pigeons and unfaithful dogs will stand together as one, in awe of extra terrestrial manifestations.
That's it, I've had too much...good night.

.

[prendrelemick]

Have you ever considered the possibility she may be telling whoppers and using your sinus problems as a smokescreen giving her the justification to beat you up during the night ?

I believe that my phone may have been hacked by News International and that Rebekah Brooks has ordered her private investigators to get me. It is one thing to reveal all my grubby secrets on the Cold Ale thread but quite another to have me and Mrs Jockys telephone rows splashed all over the News of the World. I am just relieved that Bartok and Turncoat have fled the country for the sanctuary of Roswell.

In a way you are fortunate to have a life worth splashing jocky. Ms. Brooks was very disappointed with my intimate text conversations with Mrs P :-

16.30: wots 4 T

16.32: dunno

16.36: ok c u L8r.


Needles to say the Paps have been recalled.

[The Atheist]

I believe that my phone may have been hacked by News International and that Rebekah Brooks has ordered her private investigators to get me. It is one thing to reveal all my grubby secrets on the Cold Ale thread but quite another to have me and Mrs Jockys telephone rows splashed all over the News of the World. I am just relieved that Bartok and Turncoat have fled the country for the sanctuary of Roswell.

Whoa! That is turning into the ugliest thing since Joseph Merrick.

Can we bring back the death penalty just for this crowd? And their readers.

[MarkBastable]

I have a new car.

This is not the sort of thing that I usually talk about, but I felt left out of the thread, and I reckon that this is the kind of news that a real man would mention.

It's black and it has a friendly face.

[prendrelemick]

You were doing great untill you mentioned the friendly face. We men have a stereotype to live up to you know.

What's its max talk...or tourque.. or how many kilometers to the mile do you get and other manly things?

[MarkBastable]

You were doing great untill you mentioned the friendly face. We men have a stereotype to live up to you know.

What's its max talk...or tourque.. or how many kilometers to the mile do you get and other manly things?

Well, the family car is my wife's really - it's black and big and apparently German. I've never driven it - just paid for it. My own previous car was written off by a teenager who ran into it in the snow just before Christmas.

"Dad, someone just crashed into the tree outside! Or maybe your car! It made a big noise!"

That one was my midlife crisis car - an Alfa Romeo 166. I'm past that now, but I still like Alfas, all of which have friendly faces - and that's about all I care about in a car.

So I got a Mito. It has a go-faster button - which apparently ups the torque, whatever the hell that is. I'm not very interested in speed, but I do enjoy acceleration. I tend to go 'wheeeeeeeeeee!' like a girlie. The lights on the dashboard are all red and they glow like a goth computer game. The sound system can play music from my phone without it even being plugged into anything. It's a little car, but comfortable even though I'm 6'4.

[DocHeart]

how many kilometers to the mile do you get

[jocky]

In a way you are fortunate to have a life worth splashing jocky. Ms. Brooks was very disappointed with my intimate text conversations with Mrs P :-

16.30: wots 4 T

16.32: dunno

16.36: ok c u L8r.


Needles to say the Paps have been recalled.

Hmmm! This is a wondrous strange transformation to a prosaic lifestyle. You know very well that if your ram's testicles story ever got leaked into the public domain our beloved Cold Ale Thread would be, to paraphrase JFK ' shredded and scattered to the four winds'.

[The Atheist]

This is not the sort of thing that I usually talk about, but I felt left out of the thread, and I reckon that this is the kind of news that a real man would mention.

It's black and it has a friendly face.

Well, it would be.

Unless you'd bought one of those girly little cars...

You were doing great untill you mentioned the friendly face. We men have a stereotype to live up to you know.

What's its max talk...or tourque.. or how many kilometers to the mile do you get and other manly things?

Yeah, that stuff!

So I got a Mito. It has a go-faster button - which apparently ....

makes it go faster than buses?

Yeah, one of those "cars".



This is a car:


(not mine, but identical although my windows are tinted black as well to match the black paint and leather)

Here are the specifications.

This is how quickly it does 0-100 kph:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pujOs8UykAs

6 and a bit seconds.

Not quite as good on the acceleration as a jet aircraft, but it certainly hits you hard in the back under full throttle, which alas, I can't use very often thanks to those killjoy traffic cops.

Top speed of 210 kmh, but I've only had it up to 200 kmh once. NZ roads are only ever straight for about 800m and it doesn't take long to find a corner at that speed!

[MarkBastable]

6 and a bit seconds.!

The Mito gets to 100kph in just over seven seconds, apparently. And it has a top speed of 205kph. Which is quite fast enough for me - or would be, if it were legal in the UK.

[Paulclem]

Lots of crashes in the Tour today, with one of the top contenders going to hospital. Looked very dazed.

Cavendish is back on form with a first win.

The more I watch the Tour and see how quick they go, the slower I seem to be traipsing about the town.

Mind you, you seem to have to be a funny shape to be good at cycling. I'm bandy legged already without further disfigurement.

[The Atheist]

The Mito gets to 100kph in just over seven seconds, apparently. And it has a top speed of 205kph. Which is quite fast enough for me - or would be, if it were legal in the UK.

Christ, I imagine it would be a bit floaty at that speed on such a light car.

[MarkBastable]

Christ, I imagine it would be a bit floaty at that speed on such a light car.

I have no idea what that means, but it sounds quite fun.

[The Atheist]

I have no idea what that means, but it sounds quite fun.

I can assure you it isn't!

No matter how good your car is, air is going to get underneath it, and the faster you go, the more air you get doing it. Eventually, that air lifts the car and you reach a point where the front wheels lose contact and you lose steering.

Since this only happens at quite high speeds, it tends to more terrifying than exciting, although you can soon fix it by touching the brakes. When it's windy as well, you can get shifted quite a distance before you get to the brake pedal.

Light cars tend to do that more easily than heavy ones, for obvious reasons!

[MystyrMystyry]

I caught a programme recently concerning Lotus and a discovery enabling better traction. Under a conventional car there are loads of bumps and indents which somehow serve to 'hook' the rushing air. Lotus decided to cover these crannies and nooks with sheet metal - something that had been considered before to be simply a bad idea - but the result was better than all the spoilers, aerofoils ever devised. Works like an upsidedown wing. And the faster you go the more grip you get.

Here's a photo of the MystyryMobile



Top speed: Very Fast Indeed