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Thread: Nicotine Withdrawal

  1. #1
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
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    Nicotine Withdrawal

    Don't you talk to me till I've bought some smokes!
    I watch her clownlike performance.
    She slaps on a purple beanie like a custard pie
    Splat!
    Jumps up and down on imaginary hot coals
    till denim jeans stretch over curvey hips.
    C'mon you stupid zip!
    She loses her grip and slaps her own forehead.
    I revel in the burlesque hoopla.
    Hopping
    Up, down
    Eeh Oo Ah!
    Her face reddens and her cheeks swell.
    Balancing on an invisible tightrope,
    I hold my breath as she gingerly slides each foot into a platform
    while tumbling a loose jumper over her frame.
    She succeeds in the tumultuous symmetry;
    even when she wrenches her head through the armhole.
    Fuming, flustered, she grabs her bag.
    Crash! Make-up clatters across the floor.
    Hearty laughter from me.
    Spiteous scowl from her.
    I trip over myself as her ankles wobble,
    unsure whether she will make it.
    She wrenches open the door,
    patting down her infant cowlick.
    I really hate you sometimes.
    She slams it in my face.
    Bang!
    Cloaked in lonely silence, I draw my dressing gown closer.
    Last edited by Delta40; 06-30-2011 at 04:24 AM.
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

  2. #2
    an organized mess
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    "She slaps on a purple beanie like a custard pie"

    I do believe you are the ONLY person who would toss those words together in a sentence, Delta... but by golly, it WORKS.

  3. #3
    Registered User kittypaws's Avatar
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    Delta....I so luv reading your writes as they deliver so much.

    She is young and still has much to learn and you, well you my Dear are tired and need to fall to rest in arms that will protect you, nourish you and revive the life within you.

    Just my read on your write.....


    kittypaws
    Everyone finds himself in the world where he belongs. The essential thing is to have a fixed point from which to check its reality now and then.
    Ancient Egyptian Inner Temples

  4. #4
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    Very entertaining, Delta. I enjoyed it all but I loved the closing line. Spiteous? not in my dictionary and spiteful would have been perfectly Ok. Great read.

    Best, H

  5. #5
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
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    Thanks EA. You inspired a slight edit and I hope it is an improvement.
    Kitty. I like how you read so much in the last line...
    Hawk you're right. There is despiteous but not spiteous. However, I like the inflection so it will stay.

    Thanks everyone for your kind feedback.
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

  6. #6
    an organized mess
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    Splat!

    I too noticed that you coined "spiteous" and admired it, thinking that if it is not a word, it OUGHT to be!

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