Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

[jocky]

Joyous drinking songs? I prefer the dark stuff. Of course I can't help it. I'm listening to Johnny Cash right now... and wouldn't you know he'd sing the same song that was on the Louvin Brothers disc:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rct5EEt1VfA

Of course Johnny hits you like an Old Testament prophet...

hell, he even looked one...



That's a face that Michelangelo would have loved. I can just imagine it on a sculpture of Isaiah or Abraham.

although this might be my favorite photo of Johnny:



Expressing his thoughts, perhaps, on commercial Nashville "country" music.

Right enough Johnny has always been what we term in Scotland ' A looker '

[stlukesguild]

You can take care of Dylan and Cash in one shot:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PEVK66jsEM

Great... but the Dylan I have lined up is the ultimate Dylan classic:



As for Johnny Cash duets... you can't beat this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3YFmpSFJ40

Johnny virtually condenses Cormac McCarthy's bleak view of America into a few brilliant lines:

I went out searching
looking for one good man
a spirit who would not bend or break
who would sit at his father's right hand.
I went out walking
with a Bible and a gun (!!!!)
the word of God lay heavy on my heart
I was sure I was the one...

Scarily, this is the core American culture for many:

I went out walking
with a Bible and a gun

[stlukesguild]

Right enough Johnny has always been what we term in Scotland ' A looker

Ummm.... I'm not certain that translates into American English all that well. A "looker" here is usually someone about whom you might have fantasies involving getting naked. I'm just not sure Johnny fits that bill...



Of course you might just have intended irony (something we don't get in the States... especially after a couple pints of beer).

But we do know how to smash things:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HuToOuc9cA



By the way... I'm currently taking a break with some Australian piss-water. I found an oil can of Fosters in the back of the 'fridge and thought it best to finish that before returning to the Young's Chocolate stout.

[stlukesguild]

Closing in on mid-night... time for:

[The Atheist]

I have been worrying myself sick over Atheist's assertion that the Gulf stream is going to shift and Scotland will revert to an ice-age glacier. Then I got to thinking about the upside, as there always is, and the horror of our southern neighbours dealing with a mass invasion of six million Jocks. Farms and allotments in England look a very inviting prospect for us homeless supplicants. Mick and Paul had better pray that the weather forecast changes as mutton and aubergines will go down very nicely. In fact some of my fellow compatriots are planning to invade Halifax, nothing to do with survival you understand, for the specific pleasure of stringing up Brian Moore.

The timing of that post as I read Tom Sharpe's The Throwback is almost too much!

[Paulclem]

There'll always be a place in the shed for you Jocky. no need to invade. You'll even have a choice of fallout Bunker and Ivy cottage, though you'll have to vacate Ivy cottage on a Wed afternoon as that's when old Fred goes in for a sit down.

I know what you mean about Johnny being a looker. His nose is pretty straight compared to us Northern types.

[prendrelemick]

I have been worrying myself sick over Atheist's assertion that the Gulf stream is going to shift and Scotland will revert to an ice-age glacier. Then I got to thinking about the upside, as there always is, and the horror of our southern neighbours dealing with a mass invasion of six million Jocks. Farms and allotments in England look a very inviting prospect for us homeless supplicants. Mick and Paul had better pray that the weather forecast changes as mutton and aubergines will go down very nicely. In fact some of my fellow compatriots are planning to invade Halifax, nothing to do with survival you understand, for the specific pleasure of stringing up Brian Moore.

In that case I have a barn with a beam, and I'm sure there will be a bit of old rope lying around somewhere...

[jocky]

There'll always be a place in the shed for you Jocky. no need to invade.

That is a most generous offer Paul. According to the latest intelligence reports I have already visited your shed. Strange thing is I have no recollection of being there, I must have been on a bender.

[jocky]

In that case I have a barn with a beam, and I'm sure there will be a bit of old rope lying around somewhere...

SO old potato head Moore is not loved in his own country either, what a surprise !

[Paulclem]

That is a most generous offer Paul. According to the latest intelligence reports I have already visited your shed. Strange thing is I have no recollection of being there, I must have been on a bender.

Did you find the plastic bottle with my stash of spiced rum?

[soundofmusic]

That is my brother Hamish he works full time as a male stripper, apparently the Women's Institute were most impressed by his last performance. Just between us he has a few shortcomings if you get my drift.

Ah, poor Hamish, with such shortcomings I think the Womens institute has the wrong brother dancing

I note with great interest that surgical procedures seem to be the hot topic of the day. It was on this very subject that Mrs Jocky and I came very close to divorce. Those of you with a squeamish disposition should look away now. It all started five minutes after young Jocky was born, I was sitting with my tea and toast watching the medical team repairing the carnage when I asked the midwife if there was any chance of them inserting a few extra stitches. Well for some reason beyond my limited comprehension Mrs J leapt out of the bed and tried to strangle me, encouraged by several members of the female maternity staff. After all I had been through you would have thought a little sympathy and compassion would have been forthcoming.

I would have thought she would have thanked you; though I'm not sure that making something smaller really helps. Reminds me of a friend of mine who was walking like a duck for a week in horrible pain, I asked him what was wrong and he confided that while his lady was away, he attended a party where the drinking prize was a coffee mug in the shape of a ladies....
which doubled as a.....Well, apparently my friend didn't realize that it was a joke mug, not meant for use and tried it on for size...

School is out for the summer and I finally go around to ordaining the grill for the first time with some marvelous brats and the thickest New York Strip cut steaks. Young's Double Chocolate goes to wonderfully with this. I've got 4 pints sitting ready in the 'fridge with an Ommegang ale to wrap things up. I've got the evening's listening also lined up: Thelonius Monk, The Louvin Brothers, Johnny Cash, the Rolling Stones, and Bob Dylan. Should be a wonderful evening... although whether I'm able to get up and get into the studio tomorrow morning is another story.

Right now listening to:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HISecnfIFU

Steaks and Chocolate, what woman could resist this party...after a few drinks I might even dance to a boy named Sue.

Two of the Blokes finest return for some home brew :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVvKb...eature=related

St. Lukes, sounds like you have a great evening lined up. Congratulations on your freedom.
“ordaining” the grill? Either you’ve already been tipping the bottle and missing keys, or…come to think of it, that makes perfect sense; “ordaining the grill”.

You can take care of Dylan and Cash in one shot:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PEVK66jsEM


.

That's not a pretty sight, Dylan and Cash together...let me take another drink.

[soundofmusic]

Mate! Great to see you back again.

Broken the shackles for another week?



Yes, women make such a fuss during childbirth. I've been present at all four and it didn't look all that difficult!

The Real Blokes' [TM] trick to talking about episiotomy stitches is actually to tell the surgeon to leave a couple out.

God, I can still feel a twinge where they had those stitches...
I think if I were a man, though, I would wimp out when it came to standing next to the delivery table or I'd take a few hits of something first

Did you find the plastic bottle with my stash of spiced rum?

Did we ever decide if you can put liquor in a plastic bottle?

[Paulclem]

I've never had a problem, but then my taste buds are not very discerning.

When I was a poor pre-student i used to put a little something into a handy catheter bag - you know the ones with the little tap. Great for top ups.

You will tell me if I start repeating myself won't you? That's twice now tonight I've had the feeling I'm repeating myself. I don't want to be one of those old guys who regales you with the same stories every time he sees you.

Occaisionally I have to stop myself from telling the kids the same things - now they just pull that stretchy lip teen face. I do that one well too.

[jocky]

Did you find the plastic bottle with my stash of spiced rum?

No, but I seem to remember seeing a poster of Leopold Von Ranke, a stash of Playboy Magazines from the 1980's , a copy of Samuel Smile's ' Self Help ' and a pamphlet on the ' The Glory Of Allotments '. Either that or I may have been in my own shed.

[jocky]

Ah, poor Hamish

Soundo, how long have you been on the Cold Ale Thread ? You would think by now you could get it right ! It is ' Alas, poor Hamish ' This is getting tiresome having to correct everyones use of the Engerlish language. On that note I am going to my berd.