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Thread: Voluntary Childlessness

  1. #16
    Orwellian The Atheist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Delta40 View Post
    One is required to have a license to drive but not to parent...
    Much worse is that you have to have a licence for a dog but not a child.
    Go to work, get married, have some kids, pay your taxes, pay your bills, watch your tv, follow fashion, act normal, obey the law and repeat after me: "I am free."

    Anon

  2. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by The Atheist View Post
    Much worse is that you have to have a licence for a dog but not a child.
    And a fishing rod???

    Having said that I think it would cause a little fuss if a government imposed the need to get a licence to have children. Don't give them any ideas anyway.

    I don't blame you - it means nothing outside of religious context, and with current laws in most places, it doesn't have any legal advantages either. My wife wanted to sign the paper, so I did, because I don't care enough not to.
    My, you're a romantic one.

  3. #18
    Orwellian The Atheist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neely View Post
    And a fishing rod???
    No. You need a licence to catch some types of fish, which is a bit different.

    Quote Originally Posted by Neely View Post
    Having said that I think it would cause a little fuss if a government imposed the need to get a licence to have children. Don't give them any ideas anyway.
    I agree, but it's a shame there isn't some kind of scumbag index where we can sterilise them. There are some truly horrible parents out there.

    Quote Originally Posted by Neely View Post
    My, you're a romantic one.
    No, you're just confusing marriage with romance and love. Marriage is irrelevant to both, as divorce statistics show quite starkly.
    Go to work, get married, have some kids, pay your taxes, pay your bills, watch your tv, follow fashion, act normal, obey the law and repeat after me: "I am free."

    Anon

  4. #19
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
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    I agree, but it's a shame there isn't some kind of scumbag index where we can sterilise them. There are some truly horrible parents out there.
    There are some truly horrible kids too. I'm not sure if there is a correlation here....
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

  5. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by The Atheist View Post
    No. You need a licence to catch some types of fish, which is a bit different.
    Negative. Unless the laws have changed in the last 15 years, in the UK you need or needed a licence to fish. It was called a rod licence, but was really money for the upkeep of the rivers etc.


    I agree, but it's a shame there isn't some kind of scumbag index where we can sterilise them. There are some truly horrible parents out there.
    There are and:

    There are some truly horrible kids too. I'm not sure if there is a correlation here....
    Without reservation I would say yes.

    No, you're just confusing marriage with romance and love. Marriage is irrelevant to both, as divorce statistics show quite starkly.
    True, I'm not saying that marriage is a necessity for love/lust of course. I was just amused by your enthusiasm. I had this mental image of you far from fussing over cakes and seating plans etc, never mind.

    -----------------
    Sorry, yes to the OP as others have said certainly you should try not to feel the pressure of mass opinion and attempt to follow your individual calling, though it is never easy, try not to be too mad at friends though perhaps.
    Last edited by LitNetIsGreat; 04-18-2011 at 06:29 PM.

  6. #21
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neely View Post
    Without reservation I would say yes.

    lol. Are you sure awful kids are not a result of ADD, ADHD, fast food, computer games and tv?
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

  7. #22
    Quote Originally Posted by Delta40 View Post
    lol. Are you sure awful kids are not a result of ADD, ADHD, fast food, computer games and tv?
    Ha, ha, it's a contributing factor, but most things are OK in moderation. However, when you get parents allowing kids to say up while 6.00am playing Xbox - regularly, is it any wonder that they are falling asleep in English and refusing to listen to Mr Neely's wise words?

  8. #23
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neely View Post
    Ha, ha, it's a contributing factor, but most things are OK in moderation. However, when you get parents allowing kids to say up while 6.00am playing Xbox - regularly, is it any wonder that they are falling asleep in English and refusing to listen to Mr Neely's wise words?
    I agree with all things in moderation. As a parent I am puzzled at the increase in bizarre child behaviour, obesity, sexualization etc and I can't help but ask what responsibility collective society takes or is it really all down to one or two sets of shoulders?
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

  9. #24
    Orwellian The Atheist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Delta40 View Post
    There are some truly horrible kids too. I'm not sure if there is a correlation here....
    Yep, most of 'em have crap parents. I make a study of it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Neely View Post
    Negative. Unless the laws have changed in the last 15 years, in the UK you need or needed a licence to fish. It was called a rod licence, but was really money for the upkeep of the rivers etc.
    Over there, sure, but it doesn't work that way in many places. Most of the world, you can pick up a rod and walk to the sea and chuck it in without a licence of any kind.

    Quote Originally Posted by Neely View Post
    True, I'm not saying that marriage is a necessity for love/lust of course. I was just amused by your enthusiasm. I had this mental image of you far from fussing over cakes and seating plans etc, never mind.
    Never an issue - only Mrs Atheist's family were invited and they thought they were just going out to dinner until the celebrant turned up and started talking.

    Quote Originally Posted by Delta40 View Post
    lol. Are you sure awful kids are not a result of ADD, ADHD, fast food, computer games and tv?
    The vast majority, absolutely. ADD/ADHD are sufficiently poorly-explained, diagnosed and treated that I think it's a handy excuse more than a real reason. Sometimes, it may cause issues, but far less than experts* would have us believe.

    Fast food, computer games and tv may indeed cause problems, but since they are there for the parents to monitor, it's going straight back on parents.

    *Expert being someone who makes their living out of ADD/ADHD.

    Quote Originally Posted by Delta40 View Post
    I agree with all things in moderation. As a parent I am puzzled at the increase in bizarre child behaviour, obesity, sexualization etc and I can't help but ask what responsibility collective society takes or is it really all down to one or two sets of shoulders?
    Behaviour, we've done; obesity is apparently all down to mum during pregnancy, sexualisation is again down to parents who dress their little girls like $2 hookers and pretty much all the bizarre behaviour is due to kids not being taught manners or self-discipline.

    As Jeremiah notes, the sins of the parents shall be visited upon the children. (paraphrased)

    This probably a good time to suggest Philip Larkin's This be the Verse poem. It contains extremely profane language so I won't link or quote it, but it's relevant.

    These are all reasons why people should really think about what having kids mean before they go and create one. Parenting is extremely difficult; while some past experience by others can be useful, individual kids come with individual needs but not a user manual. Not hard to get wrong.
    Go to work, get married, have some kids, pay your taxes, pay your bills, watch your tv, follow fashion, act normal, obey the law and repeat after me: "I am free."

    Anon

  10. #25
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    I think there's blame to go around for why the kids are such a mess. There are children growing up in some awfully gross homes. Many children are not even taught to brush their teeth nowadays.

    I think it's good to home-school children or send them to a private school, which here is mainly Christian school, (and spendy.)

    Parents today try to teach their children right from wrong, and then all of the sudden they are lying and stealing because they learned it at school from their friends. A boy I know who just graduated from a public high school said that kids aren't falling asleep in English class anymore. Now the girls go to school in short skirts with no underwear on and expose themselves to the boys in class. He said that, as a Christian, it was rather distracting for him.

    I hear women all the time saying, "I want a baby, I want a baby." I think the consideration should be, "Am I doing a child a favor by bringing it into the world? Will it have a father? (Yeah, that's important, in spite of this new fad of single parenting.) Can I afford to educate this and provide healthcare?" You should have a child if it's good for the child, rather than just because you feel a drive to reproduce. ...My own personal idiosyncrasy is that the mother should be at home with the child at least until it begins first grade. That's how my mom did it. I think to have a baby and dump it in childcare to go off to work sucks. This isn't to make any mom feel bad who's been forced into that situation, but to have a child with the plan to dump it off in childcare for 10 or 12 hours per day sucks.

    I'm the type that if I had a child I would be fretting and fretting about his/her safety and giving it a decent life. I would worry about things like pesticides in foods, and the environment that the kid will inherit, and those concerns would drive me nuts.

    And then, once you have kids the worry and struggle never ends. I know middle-aged people who finally get their kids raised and breathe a sigh of relief, and then before they know it, their kids are having kids. And the young adults are not responsible enough to raise their children, so that becomes the grandparents' responsibility.

    I tend to worry about over-population, global warming, corporate evils, and so forth, and one day a man I know (who is also childless) said to me, "Isn't it wonderful that when we die we won't be leaving anyone behind?" I've thought about that, and one of the things I'm most thankful for is that when ever I'm gone I won't be leaving my children on this planet and generations of grandchildren into this future, which I don't feel at all confident about. My own feeling is that we really are at the End Times, only I'm not so sure Jesus is going to save us from this disaster that humans have created. For me it is a comforting thought that when my lifetime is over, my gene pool is gone.

    My older brothers, before me, made the decision not to have children, so I have no nieces or nephews, and I'm glad. I'd never even breed an animal, I just take in those that are homeless.
    Last edited by Vonny; 04-18-2011 at 10:12 PM.

  11. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Delta40 View Post
    Since I read your post this morning, I've been accosted several times by work colleagues waffling on about their kids....What a pain.
    Reminds me of this.

  12. #27
    Orwellian The Atheist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vonny View Post
    I think there's blame to go around for why the kids are such a mess. There are children growing up in some awfully gross homes. Many children are not even taught to brush their teeth nowadays.
    Or count to 10, recite the alphabet and many other simple tasks.

    Quote Originally Posted by Vonny View Post
    Parents today try to teach their children right from wrong, and then all of the sudden they are lying and stealing because they learned it at school from their friends.
    I don't buy that. Peer pressure to commit crime just doesn't really exist in any degree - the kids learn dishonesty from their parents long before they learn it from their peers, plus, the fact that still only a small percentage actually break the law pretty well shows it's not as widespread as you might think.

    Quote Originally Posted by Vonny View Post
    A boy I know who just graduated from a public high school said that kids aren't falling asleep in English class anymore. Now the girls go to school in short skirts with no underwear on and expose themselves to the boys in class. He said that, as a Christian, it was rather distracting for him.
    Pics or it didn't happen!



    No, seriously though; again, I doubt this. Most girls are just not that exhibitionist and it smacks of fantasy.

    Quote Originally Posted by Vonny View Post
    I think to have a baby and dump it in childcare to go off to work sucks. This isn't to make any mom feel bad who's been forced into that situation, but to have a child with the plan to dump it off in childcare for 10 or 12 hours per day sucks.
    Couldn't agree more, and the number of kids starting daycare at weeks old is increasing as the pressure for money mounts.

    Quote Originally Posted by Vonny View Post
    I know middle-aged people who finally get their kids raised and breathe a sigh of relief, and then before they know it, their kids are having kids. And the young adults are not responsible enough to raise their children, so that becomes the grandparents' responsibility.
    Yes, that has become common. Hard on the grandparents, but maybe if they'd taught their kids those life-lessons, they wouldn't be in that situation?

    Quote Originally Posted by Vonny View Post
    My own feeling is that we really are at the End Times, only I'm not so sure Jesus is going to save us from this disaster that humans have created.
    Well, I'm very sure Jesus won't save us, but I don't think we're living in the end of times either. There's plenty of life in the species and planet just yet.
    Go to work, get married, have some kids, pay your taxes, pay your bills, watch your tv, follow fashion, act normal, obey the law and repeat after me: "I am free."

    Anon

  13. #28
    Inquisitive bloke ClaesGefvenberg's Avatar
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    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by Bluehound View Post
    A long time ago I decided that I wasn’t going to have any children.
    I can relate to that. Not that I ever decided not to become a father, but my wife and I took a very long time deciding whether to become parents or not. In the end, after more than 10 years together we finally went for it because we wanted to, and our daughter is now approaching her sweet 16.

    Until then, however, lots of people who should have known better pestered us with questions like if it wasn't about time, and so on. I found that highly unsensitive. It was none of their business, and what if we had not been able to reproduce? I can imagine how it would have felt to get those questions then. Besides, they will never be satisfied anyway: As soon as our daughter had seen the light of day they started hounding us about our plans for the next one. We had no such plans, and still don't.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bluehound View Post
    Am I weird?
    Not a bit of it. You made your choice and marched to the sound of your own drum, which is more than can be said about many people: You sound perfectly sound to me.

    /Claes
    Hanlon's Razor: "Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."

  14. #29
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    First, I think *Claas* rather weird, but there's such a thing as *good weird.* My dad abandoned me when I was 6, so I know *good weird* when I see it. If I find one like *Claas*, and he's consistent for 10 years, maybe I'll reconsider my stance. And that goes even if I can't pronounce the guy's name. (But I'd still adopt a child, and hopefully it would turn out as cute as the guy who had the "Wild West" party.)

    Atheist, it's quite possible that the Christian boy got confused. He's been taught delusion and doesn't know reality from fantasy, afterall. However, I've heard there are pics. Ever heard of the cell phone texting known as "sexting"? A woman I work with put her phone in my face with a pic of her brother's-in-law privates on it. (Her sister's husband had sent it to his wife where she works as a dental hygenist and then she had forwarded it to her sister at work, and then it was shared with me.)

    Now that I think about it, the one woman I have in mind who has "taught her child right from wrong," does lead a trashy life that she tries to put a lovely face on. ...It's funny, you made me think more deeply on this point... I know of this woman being secretly unethical at work, (takes things she shouldn't.) I know that the father of her child, who is not present in their home, is a methamphetamine addict and she refers to him as "merely a sperm donor."

    Gosh, I do hope you're right about there being more life in the planet. My brother tries to tell me that.

    And I think that if a person can't reproduce for some reason, so what? There are those who are blind and those who can't walk, and people who don't know their "you know what" from a hole in the ground. There's people so dumb they think we can trash the planet and when it gets bad enough, God will give us a brand new heaven and earth, so the thing to do is facilitate the devastation and hurry it along.
    Last edited by Vonny; 04-19-2011 at 01:08 PM.

  15. #30
    Orwellian The Atheist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ClaesGefvenberg View Post
    It was none of their business, and what if we had not been able to reproduce?
    Excellent point!

    Quote Originally Posted by Vonny View Post
    Atheist, it's quite possible that the Christian boy got confused. He's been taught delusion and doesn't know reality from fantasy, afterall.


    Quote Originally Posted by Vonny View Post
    However, I've heard there are pics. Ever heard of the cell phone texting known as "sexting"? A woman I work with put her phone in my face with a pic of her brother's-in-law privates on it. (Her sister's husband had sent it to his wife where she works as a dental hygenist and then she had forwarded it to her sister at work, and then it was shared with me.)
    I have no doubt it happens, but as Chat Roulette showed, males are a lot more exhibitionist than females! There will be the odd really messed-up girl that displays herself in front of all and sundry, but they will be rare.

    What's going on doesn't seem to be all that different to what went on at school 40 years ago, but it was usually behind a shed rather than on a camera.

    Quote Originally Posted by Vonny View Post
    Now that I think about it, the one woman I have in mind who has "taught her child right from wrong," does lead a trashy life that she tries to put a lovely face on.
    That is tragic, and again, there's plenty of evidence that some truly excellent parents turn out monsters. Genetics, see. Sometimes humans just cannot overcome whatever genetic defect it is that makes them rapists/muderers/etc.

    To me, the problem seems to be that we're getting worse at parenting. Not that we were brilliant at it 60 or 600 years ago, but I think parenting in reality lags an enormous amount compared to parenting as a science.
    Go to work, get married, have some kids, pay your taxes, pay your bills, watch your tv, follow fashion, act normal, obey the law and repeat after me: "I am free."

    Anon

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