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Thread: Litnet's version of Devil's dictionary

  1. #886
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Black Hole Having such a bad mood that even the light of reason and the joy of life cannot pierce the veil of sadness that surrounds you


    Space
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  2. #887
    Registered User Calidore's Avatar
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    Space: The area of nothing which is inside everything and which everything is inside.

    Butterfly

  3. #888
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    Butterfly A most dangerous insect which by merely flapping its wings can cause disaster on the opposite side of the globe according to Chaos theory.

    Metamorphoses
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  4. #889
    riding a cosmic vortex MystyrMystyry's Avatar
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    Metamorphoses - The art of outwardly seeming to alter, but actually staying the same. Insects are the unchallenged masters of the technique (consider the cute caterpillar becoming the cute butterfly, the disgusting maggot turning into the equally disgusting blowfly)

    Therefore the more things appear to change the more they fundamentally do not

    Some writers metamorphose into cockroaches, some cockroaches into writers - some revert - but in essence they are the same

    Witness Franz Kafka who believed he was a cockroach, and no-one noticed (actually this is more a self-delusional illusion, and though it doesn't really count, is still worthy of consideration)



    Joker

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    Joker1) A person whom, fueled with liquor, is infinitely less funny than he thinks. There is at least one in every gathering, and sparks and vile jokes fly when they fight for territory. It is not a pleasant experience.

    2) A person who insists on telling jokes when you are trying to tell your own

    Fate
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  6. #891
    riding a cosmic vortex MystyrMystyry's Avatar
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    Was he a cockroach who wrote? Or a writer who roached?

    Sorry, what? Oh - Fate is it?


    Fate - the hallucination that everything happens for a reason, and there's purpose in it

    Who you are does not indicate whom you are, inasmuch as getting hit by a bus is bad luck - very bad luck I'll grant you - but merely bad luck

    You are not badly fated unless it happens again the same afternoon - by any bus, anywhere

    Here comes one now...

    Boarding a bus is also bad luck - but boarding the same bus day after day after day, morning and afternoon to the same destinations ad nauseum will drive you bonkers, which is why people do it - they don't need a bus - they need a vallium and a long rest!


    vallium

  7. #892
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    Valium Highly addictive quack cure-all for the hopelessly depressed and highly gullible. The need for more of the drug to get the same result as time passes is a high conduit for the onset of stark insanity. Caveat emptor.

    Cave Canium
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  8. #893
    www.markbastable.co.uk
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pendragon View Post
    Valium Highly addictive quack cure-all for the hopelessly depressed and highly gullible. The need for more of the drug to get the same result as time passes is a high conduit for the onset of stark insanity. Caveat emptor.

    Cave Canium
    Shouldn't that be cave canem? Accusative, which is what I seem to remember cavere takes.

    I also remember being shown this when I was thirteen.....

    http://listverse.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/canem2.jpg


    ..though if the Roman equivalent of signwriters were anything like as arbitrary in their use of grammar as those currently plying their trade in South London, this example of usage is not necessarily much to go on.

    (This message has been brought to you by Grammar School Pedants Inc - picking nits for profit and pleasure.)
    Last edited by MarkBastable; 03-31-2011 at 12:20 PM.

  9. #894
    Registered User Calidore's Avatar
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    I Googled both and found lots of cave canem, but no cave canium, so I'll go with the former.

    Cave Canem: Warning often heard in nightclubs frequented by seminary and law students when the hour grows late and the pickings grow slim.


    Candelabra

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    riding a cosmic vortex MystyrMystyry's Avatar
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    Candelabra - Fancy name for a tri-pronged candlestick holder, an item the fancy famous penis (whoops, pianist) Liberace placed upon his fancy organ (whoops, piano) during concerts in place of a sizzling redhead in a split red dress

    Observe that it is the only word to rhyme with abracadabra indicating perhaps the Satanic element of how a chubby (whoops, portly) little man of such limited talent and charm with equally chubby little fingers became so incredibly successful

    Other aspects of his life include a besequinned tendency, innumerable gold-plated Rolls Royces and grand pianos parked in the living room which he shared with his mother and extensive collection of rare fluffy white cats, expensive dental work - and most notably a role as guest villain in a dual episode of Batman the television series

    And all this in an age of student riots, the Vietnam war, and Richard Nixon


    Horrible - just too horrible...



    Swinging Sixties
    Last edited by MystyrMystyry; 04-01-2011 at 05:57 PM.

  11. #896
    www.markbastable.co.uk
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    Swinging Sixties - bondage night at the Golden Acres Residential Home.


    pangolin

  12. #897
    riding a cosmic vortex MystyrMystyry's Avatar
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    Pangolin - particularly confused pineapple that thinks it is simultaneously a skunk, a sloth, an armadillo, an aardvark*

    You're a fruit! Get back in that tree!



    Nocturnal


    *Always wanted to put aardvark last for a change - they've had it too good for too long...
    Last edited by MystyrMystyry; 04-01-2011 at 05:56 PM.

  13. #898
    Registered User Calidore's Avatar
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    Nocturnal: One who raps on a door and immediately opens it without waiting for a response.


    Calibrate

  14. #899
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    Calibrate - to be so pleased to have lost five pounds that you mark the occasion by engulfing a 14" pepperoni pizza and two chocolate eclairs


    Repartee

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    riding a cosmic vortex MystyrMystyry's Avatar
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    Repartee - Unique Italian-style news gathering, up there with paparazee style landscape photography

    Dating from Early Etruscan times when the king had unlimited wealth to accompany his unlimited age, unlimited underage orgies to accompany his unlimited libido, and unlimited power to silence his unlimited opposition

    Fortunately many centuries have come and gone, and we now live in the Twentyfirst century where this sort of thing just doesn't happen (because of repartee?)



    Paparazzi
    Last edited by MystyrMystyry; 04-01-2011 at 06:04 PM.

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