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Thread: Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

  1. #4456
    Registered User jocky's Avatar
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    The twin horror of lifts and modern technology.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FFRoYhTJQQ
    " There are few more impressive sights in the world than a Scotsman on the make. "

  2. #4457
    TobeFrank Paulclem's Avatar
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    I've never been fired, but I've had some terrible interviews. You know the ones - where you're convinced that the boss doesn't like you - and you don't like him back. Probably just as well I bombed. He was a flash ******* anyway in a ten years out of date kind of way. It wouldn't have worked well.

    The other boss I didn't like was a head. Some jobs you just don't want.

    Another job I went for, i couldn't work out what the job was about. It was all too woolly. Half way through the interview for this job wth the LSC - funding body for grant funded educational organisations - which I wasn't fantastically keen on getting - I'd just come along to see - I realised I didn't want the job. I should have come clean, held up my hands and said - lets not waste any more of our time now shall we, and gone. It would have been a great story, but sadly I stuck it out knowing I wouldn't bother with it. I didn't get the job, and the LSC has now gone down the pan with the cuts. Lucky old me.

  3. #4458
    TobeFrank Paulclem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jocky View Post
    The twin horror of lifts and modern technology.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FFRoYhTJQQ
    That was great.

    I used to work with a guy from Glasgae in the slaughterhouse. He was a bit further down the line and had anger management issues which the labourers used to take advantage of. I always thought that was a bit off because he, as a slaughterman, had the very sharp knife.

    Anyway, it was very noisy in there with the saw for cutting cattle in half. I spent 2 and a half years nodding, smiling and sticking my thumb up at him without ever really catching a word he said. I have the ear for it now, and can watch Rab C Nesbit with nae problem.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABrDV...351E669DE054C9

    They do great drunks.

  4. #4459
    Registered User jocky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paulclem View Post
    That was great.

    I used to work with a guy from Glasgae in the slaughterhouse. He was a bit further down the line and had anger management issues which the labourers used to take advantage of. I always thought that was a bit off because he, as a slaughterman, had the very sharp knife.

    Anyway, it was very noisy in there with the saw for cutting cattle in half. I spent 2 and a half years nodding, smiling and sticking my thumb up at him without ever really catching a word he said.
    Just a pity more teachers don't have experience of the real world. You certainly have grasped the idea of the Scottish stereotype and I am so glad I am living up to your expectations. Any man who had a hoop and a stick as a kid was wealthy beyond dreams. Now when I were a lad.......
    " There are few more impressive sights in the world than a Scotsman on the make. "

  5. #4460
    TobeFrank Paulclem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jocky View Post
    Just a pity more teachers don't have experience of the real world. You certainly have grasped the idea of the Scottish stereotype and I am so glad I am living up to your expectations. Any man who had a hoop and a stick as a kid was wealthy beyond dreams. Now when I were a lad.......
    Hoop and stick. Those were the days.

    We all have our stereotypes to live up to. Mick and I can easily regress into the rock ape personas that really characterise the Yorkshire tyke type. The knuckles drag a bit more, the accent thickens, and a proud sneer at the rest of the un-Yorkshire world develops upon our top lips.

  6. #4461
    Registered User jocky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paulclem View Post
    Hoop and stick. Those were the days.

    We all have our stereotypes to live up to. Mick and I can easily regress into the rock ape personas that really characterise the Yorkshire tyke type. The knuckles drag a bit more, the accent thickens, and a proud sneer at the rest of the un-Yorkshire world develops upon our top lips.
    The last time me and Mrs J visited Yorkshire to see our daughter and two grandchildren we spent a couple of days in York. My other half suggested ( somewhat slyly ) " Jocky why don't you go and visit Yorkminster, you know you have always wanted to see it ." I thought, how unusually generous a gesture. Just in time I remembered it is still legal to murder a Scotsman in the grounds of the Cathederal. Instead I went to the racetrack and lost all our holiday money. It was well worth the row.
    " There are few more impressive sights in the world than a Scotsman on the make. "

  7. #4462
    Orwellian The Atheist's Avatar
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    This just keeps being the best thread in the entire universe.

    I am
    Go to work, get married, have some kids, pay your taxes, pay your bills, watch your tv, follow fashion, act normal, obey the law and repeat after me: "I am free."

    Anon

  8. #4463
    Registered User prendrelemick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paulclem View Post
    Hoop and stick. Those were the days.

    We all have our stereotypes to live up to. Mick and I can easily regress into the rock ape personas that really characterise the Yorkshire tyke type. The knuckles drag a bit more, the accent thickens, and a proud sneer at the rest of the un-Yorkshire world develops upon our top lips.

    Regress?

  9. #4464
    TobeFrank Paulclem's Avatar
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    Well - let me present my credentials.

    [IMG][/IMG]

    My flat cap on my flat screen.

    Yet when I left Yorkshire and discovered lands far and wide - Sunderland to be precise - I found they were ok.

    I also had an inner conflict going on - I remember reading Doris Lessing's The Golden Notebook, (beacause I had to for my uni course), in the cabin on a building site in Rubery - Birmingham - surrounded by copies of The Sun and builder blokes for whom admitting an interest in things other than beer, women and gambling was tantamout to an attack on the manhood of the male species.

    I did feel like this guy:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ghIoPLyJ-k

  10. #4465
    Registered User jocky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paulclem View Post
    Well - let me present my credentials.

    [IMG][/IMG]

    My flat cap on my flat screen.

    Yet when I left Yorkshire and discovered lands far and wide - Sunderland to be precise - I found they were ok.

    I also had an inner conflict going on - I remember reading Doris Lessing's The Golden Notebook, (beacause I had to for my uni course), in the cabin on a building site in Rubery - Birmingham - surrounded by copies of The Sun and builder blokes for whom admitting an interest in things other than beer, women and gambling was tantamout to an attack on the manhood of the male species.

    I did feel like this guy:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ghIoPLyJ-k


    Right enough, Thomas Hobbes is far more interesting than women and gambling. Did I ever tell you about the time I caught the biggest pike known to mankind, unfortunately the camera broke, I named it Leviathan but no one believed me. Philosophy and fish what a combination.
    " There are few more impressive sights in the world than a Scotsman on the make. "

  11. #4466
    Clinging to Douvres rocks Gilliatt Gurgle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paulclem View Post
    ...My flat cap on my flat screen.

    ...I did feel like this guy:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ghIoPLyJ-k
    Nice looking flat cap and funny video Paul!
    "...Kant"
    "What you say?!!"


    Quote Originally Posted by jocky View Post

    ...Did I ever tell you about the time I caught the biggest pike known to mankind, unfortunately the camera broke, I named it Leviathan but no one believed me. Philosophy and fish what a combination.
    From big pigeons to big fish, when does it end Jocky?

    Gentlemen, I'm having the blokiest of blokey evenings; Just finished two pints of ale at Carlyle Brewing company in Rockford and now I'm setlled in my hotel with a Jack Daniels and ginger ale watching Clint Eastwood in "A Fistfull of Dollars".
    Next up is "For a Few Dollars More" and "The Good the Bad and the Ugly".
    It doesn't get much better than this!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JeFpM2OEWPs

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4XETCBf4m5g

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awskKWzjlhk


    .
    "Mongo only pawn in game of life" - Mongo

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKRma7PDW10

  12. #4467
    Registered User jocky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle View Post




    From big pigeons to big fish, when does it end Jocky?


    .
    In a big coffin. Sounds like you are having a good night. Enjoyed the clips, you would love it over here on the glorious twelfth. You can shoot anything that moves, even the beaters, they come a lot cheaper than the grouse. I was thinking of wrestling an octopus next but a character named Gilliatt beat me to it. Are you on the wild turkey again ? Time to egress.
    " There are few more impressive sights in the world than a Scotsman on the make. "

  13. #4468
    TobeFrank Paulclem's Avatar
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    Great clips Gilliatt. I want to go and watch a film now. I've got some whiskey in the cupboard too. No-ones about and so it won't matter if I flake out on ther sofa.

    I tried to read Leviathon once. I think I went for the philosophy - beer philosophy at the local that is.


  14. #4469
    Registered User jocky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paulclem View Post
    Great clips Gilliatt. I want to go and watch a film now. I've got some whiskey in the cupboard too. No-ones about and so it won't matter if I flake out on ther sofa.

    I tried to read Leviathon once. I think I went for the philosophy - beer philosophy at the local that is.

    In my experience of these things there is always someone about.

    What a pity you would have really enjoyed the chapter where he compares the human condition to the workings of a watch. Timepieces were the in thing in the seventeenth century. It was just about the end of that passage I started drinking as well.
    " There are few more impressive sights in the world than a Scotsman on the make. "

  15. #4470
    Orwellian The Atheist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jocky View Post
    Did I ever tell you about the time I caught the biggest pike known to mankind, unfortunately the camera broke, I named it Leviathan but no one believed me. Philosophy and fish what a combination.
    All fishermen are philosophers at heart. Well, at head, anyway.

    Any bloke that spends hours holding his rod has to have the odd existential moment.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle View Post
    Nice looking flat cap and funny video Paul!
    "...Kant"
    "What you say?!!"
    I love that guy!

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle View Post
    watching Clint Eastwood in "A Fistfull of Dollars".
    That's funny. I've just finished watching Randolph Scott in The Texans. Nothing like a good cowboy film, although the Amercian SPCA's absence in those days is pretty noticeable.
    Go to work, get married, have some kids, pay your taxes, pay your bills, watch your tv, follow fashion, act normal, obey the law and repeat after me: "I am free."

    Anon

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