Hey Satan! Meet My Sexy Wife!

Hey Satan! Meet My Sexy Wife!
A short story dedicated to Lucifer
by Wolf Larsen

Warning: don’t read this if you are very religious, or if you are uptight about sex. You have been warned!

You’re selling your wife on the street. The devil comes and buys your wife for the evening. As you think of what your wife & the devil are doing at that moment you’re masturbating stars into the sky — you’re masturbating suns into all your poems — you’re masturbating poetry onto the pages...

When the devil returns with your wife he says: “your wife is as wonderful as any sexy angel in heaven! I want to join you & your wife on your wedding night! Think of it! A menage a trois with you, your wife, and Lucifer! We can find fauvist paintings in your wife’s vagina! If only you would give me your wife every night we could find postmodernism together!”

The following day the devil came to create postmodern architecture & sculpture with your wife. But your wife was busy with somebody else...
She was in the bedroom with God. God pays well! He gives you a spot in heaven — the best real estate — and for eternity too — and only for 10% — what a value!

While God was in the bedroom with your wife the devil invited over a mariachi band to serenade both of them. What a beautiful guy the devil is!
When your wife gave birth nine months later you weren’t sure who the father was: the devil or God. But the baby was so handsome that your own instincts told you that the father of your wife’s baby was the devil.

As you were the husband it was your duty to raise the child as your own.

The child grew up to become an Christian evangelist preacher. He had fire in his voice. He had conviction in his bearing. He had 10% in his pockets. And he had the face of the devil.

Copyright 2015 by Wolf Larsen

Which god?

I understand that the Devil is a "gentleman."

Upon reading this for the first time, I dismissed it as a degradation of humanity. Upon a second reading and further reflection, I see both the humor and paradox of God and the Devil. Do we believe in one or the other, or both? Which one should we fear?

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Originally Posted by Wes Corona

Upon reading this for the first time, I dismissed it as a degradation of humanity. Upon a second reading and further reflection, I see both the humor and paradox of God and the Devil. Do we believe in one or the other, or both? Which one should we fear?

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Which god? Some gods are fearful and some are actually quite nice.

Some people dwell in fear, some relish it, therefore, for them a fearful god would be quite nice.

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Originally Posted by Wes Corona

Some people dwell in fear, some relish it, therefore, for them a fearful god would be quite nice.

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Or no gods at all.

"Oh Gawd!!"

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Originally Posted by WolfLarsen

When the devil returns with your wife he says: “your wife is as wonderful as any sexy angel in heaven! I want to join you & your wife on your wedding night!

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I thought you and your wife were already married.

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Originally Posted by WolfLarsen

postmodern architecture & sculpture

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I hear the cool stuff is now called "metamodern". There's an avant-garde poetry contest based on "metamodern" going on now. Here's the last entry: http://www.online-literature.com/for...61#post1306461

What I liked about this short story is that is made enough sense for the reader to continue reading it regardless of whether they liked it or not. That is why I mentioned the point above about there being a contradiction with having a "wife" and also a coming wedding night. Such contradictions have the tendency of losing the reader.

For those of you endeavoring to be "cool" metamodernism has the aim to "transcend, fracture, subvert, circumvent, interrogate and disrupt, hijack and appropriate modernity and postmodernity". Further more metamodernism in literature has been described as an aesthetic that is "after yet by means of modernism…. a departure as well as a perpetuation."

Right, that's sorted that out.

Any questions?

Yeah, even the adjective "cool" is probably too modern or postmodern, if not reactionary, to be metamodern.

Wolf Larsen is far from metamodern. He is postmodern at best. He makes no attempt to actually say anything, he seeks only deconstruct what he views as being unnecessarily sincere. If he's trying to say anything, he's trying to say that literature is a fool's errand and ultimately a waste of time as no one can actually say anything about anything.

Metamodernism seeks to reconstruct the sincerity of modernism, while retaining some of the means on which postmodern used to tell stories.

The "meta" part of metamodern refers to Plato's Metaxy, thus meaning that metamodernism is the oscillation between, primarily modernism and post modernism,but also taking cues from other movements, such as romanticism and gothic lit.

There's nothing particularly "cool" about metamodernism, it is simply current. Much of contemporary american cultural takes a metaxy view on the world. Physics is dealt with the oscilation between the grand narrative of general relativity (analagous to modernism, and coincidentally first appeared in the 1930s), and the craziness of quantum mechanics (analagous to postmodernism, and coincidentally became extremely important during the late 1960s).

Metamodernism isn't wierd. Most of the TV you watch is metamodern (The Office, Parks and Rec, SpongeBob), most of the movies you watch are metamodern (Wes Andersen, Quentin Tarantino) and many books you may have read are metamodern (Infinite Jest, Freedom). It sounds wierd because of its association with postmodernism, but part of the whole goal of metamodernism is to return to a state in which sincerity and seriousness are valued and not simply written off as impossible or curmudgeonly.

This being said, I am not a big fan of shock for shock's sake. The ability to use the names of genetalia over and over again does not make you a good writer.

I agree with you about the genitalia, especially the over and over again part. However, the current story has some good parts such as the last paragraph:

The child grew up to become an Christian evangelist preacher. He had fire in his voice. He had conviction in his bearing. He had 10% in his pockets. And he had the face of the devil.

I don't like the last sentence because it tells too much. I would have removed it so the reader is left guessing who was the father. Otherwise, it seems like a nice, unusual ending.

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Originally Posted by WolfLarsen

Hey Satan! Meet My Sexy Wife!
A short story dedicated to Lucifer
by Wolf Larsen

Warning: don’t read this if you are very religious, or if you are uptight about sex. You have been warned!

You’re selling your wife on the street. The devil comes and buys your wife for the evening. As you think of what your wife & the devil are doing at that moment you’re masturbating stars into the sky — you’re masturbating suns into all your poems — you’re masturbating poetry onto the pages...

When the devil returns with your wife he says: “your wife is as wonderful as any sexy angel in heaven! I want to join you & your wife on your wedding night! Think of it! A menage a trois with you, your wife, and Lucifer! We can find fauvist paintings in your wife’s vagina! If only you would give me your wife every night we could find postmodernism together!”

The following day the devil came to create postmodern architecture & sculpture with your wife. But your wife was busy with somebody else...
She was in the bedroom with God. God pays well! He gives you a spot in heaven — the best real estate — and for eternity too — and only for 10% — what a value!

While God was in the bedroom with your wife the devil invited over a mariachi band to serenade both of them. What a beautiful guy the devil is!
When your wife gave birth nine months later you weren’t sure who the father was: the devil or God. But the baby was so handsome that your own instincts told you that the father of your wife’s baby was the devil.

As you were the husband it was your duty to raise the child as your own.

The child grew up to become an Christian evangelist preacher. He had fire in his voice. He had conviction in his bearing. He had 10% in his pockets. And he had the face of the devil.

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had a lot of fun reading your story. so funny. fresh thinking.

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Originally Posted by loater

had a lot of fun reading your story. so funny. fresh thinking.

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Fresh? Postmodernism's been around since the 17th century. There's nothing "fresh" about postmodernism.

Irony is old. Literally and figuratively.

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Originally Posted by WolfLarsen

The child grew up to become an Christian evangelist preacher. He had fire in his voice. He had conviction in his bearing. He had 10% in his pockets. And he had the face of the devil.

Copyright 2015 by Wolf Larsen

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:lol:

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Originally Posted by MANICHAEAN

"Oh Gawd!!"

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:lol::lol:

Good stuff, Wolf. Very entertaining!